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Parents Gifts

My parents are graciously paying for our wedding and I would like to get them something fabulous in return.  Any suggestions?  Should I send them on a cruise?

What about his parents?  Should we get them something small?

BabyFruit Ticker If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think. Even if we're apart i'll always be with you. - A.A. Milne

Re: Parents Gifts

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    edited December 2011
    Send them on a cruise?Umm how much money do you have? Maybe spa certificates?
    Should get both sets of parents something in that case -even if its something small.
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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We gave a necklace to my mom, and cufflinks to our dads, at the rehearsal dinner. Since my parents very generously helped us out with some things, we're most likely buying them concert tickets and treating them to dinner before the show as an extra thank you.

    FIL did not give us anything, but he is not in a position where he can afford to do so. I would've felt really scummy had I given my parents a bigger gift in front of him just because they were lucky enough to be able to afford to help us and FIL is not so lucky. So if you decide to give your parents something big, I would not do it in front of your in-laws. If you think the cruise would make your parents happy, go for it.

    I think it's nice to give them all a little something - they raised you and supported you all these years. If nothing else, a heartfelt note of thanks. Maybe get them nice photo frames and order a print once you receive your wedding pics that they can put in the frames.
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    edited December 2011

    I think that you should get both sets of parents the same (or similar gifts). My parents are paying for most of our wedding too, but FI's parents have offered to pay for photo/video, flowers, and limos. Even though their contributions are not equal, both sets of parents are being extremely generous. I know I don't have to worry about parent gifts for a while, but I do want to get them something nice to show our appreciation. I had been thinking about spa gift certificates or a weekend at a B&B, but the cruise idea sounds amazing. I just did a quick google search and maybe I'm missing hidden costs, but I saw cruises for as low as 250...around what I would expect to pay for a B&B weekend. Someone clue me in if I'm way off the mark!

    If you can swing cruises for both, maybe get your FI's parents a standard room and your parents a nicer suite? Or do spa gift cards for both and throw in a few extra treatments for your parents? You don't want anyone to feel slighted, so if you don't give equal gifts, I wouldn't make it very obvious. Or do what mbcdefg  did and give your parents an extra gift after the rehearsal dinner.

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    uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Our wedding expenses were split the old-fashioned way -- my parents paid for the wedding and his parents paid for the rehearsal dinner.  We gave my parents a hotel room in the city for a night and a nice dinner out.  We got his parents show tickets. It was very nice of his parents to pay for the rehearsal dinner, but we felt that we should give my parents more.  We told both sets of parents about their gifts after the wedding -- not at the rehearsal dinner -- so neither set knew what the other got.
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    edited December 2011

    There are some hidden costs with cruises.  They charge for service (probably $10 per person per day) and they may charge excess fuel costs.  Additionally, your parents would have to pay for any alcoholic beverages they had once they were on the ship but that's it.  It seems like a nice idea for me because my parents would really appreciate it.  I think I may ask their best friends if they'd like to go with them.  Maybe they can schedule their vacations at the same time?  I was think either a 10 or 14 day cruise though so that's tough.

    BabyFruit Ticker If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think. Even if we're apart i'll always be with you. - A.A. Milne
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    edited December 2011
    I think both sets of parents should get similar presents (value wise) and how much each set of parents chipped in should not matter. If your wedding is being paid for you should give a bigger gift to all since you might be able to versus couples that pay for their own weddings and cannot afford to send their parents of a cruise etc.
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    edited December 2011

    For my Dad we are getting him an over night stay in center city Philly. 2 dinner tickets to the Spirit of Philadelphia and paying for his hotel on the night of our wedding

    For my Mom 2 dinner tickets to the Spirit of Philadelphia

    FI parents tickets to a Phillies game behind home plate and a gift card to one of their favorite restaurants.

    If you can't tell our family is all in south jersey.

    All parents will get homemade parent albums as part of a Christmas gift.

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    uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_parents-gifts-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:38fff145-2cae-421f-840d-83952b2b48b6Post:90715da4-2e28-463f-9f46-54fe50251377">Re: Parents Gifts</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think both sets of parents should get similar presents (value wise) and how much each set of parents chipped in should not matter. If your wedding is being paid for you should give a bigger gift to all since you might be able to versus couples that pay for their own weddings and cannot afford to send their parents of a cruise etc.
    Posted by kathygrzywnowicz[/QUOTE]

    <div>I disagree with this, at least under traditional circumstances.  If both parents would have liked to contribute equally but one set couldn't because of financial issues, then I think it is nice to give the same gift because certainly the thought was there.  But if the bride's parents are paying for the wedding because that's traditional, and the groom's parents are paying for only the rehearsal dinner because that's their traditional role... well, I think the "thank you for throwing our wedding" gift should be bigger than the "thank you for throwing our rehearsal dinner" present.  Also, as hosts, my parents were also a lot more involved in our planning -- going to vendor meetings and such ... so their time commitment also was a ton more than John's parents'.  </div>
    image
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    Lola MinnieLola Minnie member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_parents-gifts-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:38fff145-2cae-421f-840d-83952b2b48b6Post:8f08dee7-e9e1-4330-888d-9b4b8231cba6">Re: Parents Gifts</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Parents Gifts : I disagree with this, at least under traditional circumstances.  If both parents would have liked to contribute equally but one set couldn't because of financial issues, then I think it is nice to give the same gift because certainly the thought was there.  But if the bride's parents are paying for the wedding because that's traditional, and the groom's parents are paying for only the rehearsal dinner because that's their traditional role... well, I think the "thank you for throwing our wedding" gift should be bigger than the "thank you for throwing our rehearsal dinner" present.  Also, as hosts, my parents were also a lot more involved in our planning -- going to vendor meetings and such ... so their time commitment also was a ton more than John's parents'.  
    Posted by uppereastgirl[/QUOTE]

    I am in the same boat as you, uppereast.  Our parents are not paying for the whole day but a good portion of the reception, my dress, veil, bridal shower, engagement party, etc.

    His parents are only paying for the rehearsal dinner.  I think part of it is that they want to be traditional and the other part just feels they don't need to.  I think it would have been very nice of them to offer considering they spend $ on themselves very frequently.

    So, we are getting my parents a nice gift after we return from the honeymoon and so it's not given at the rehearsal dinner.  Both sets of parents get a parent album, I'm thinking that's his parents gift.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_parents-gifts-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:38fff145-2cae-421f-840d-83952b2b48b6Post:8f08dee7-e9e1-4330-888d-9b4b8231cba6">Re: Parents Gifts</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Parents Gifts : I disagree with this, at least under traditional circumstances.  If both parents would have liked to contribute equally but one set couldn't because of financial issues, then I think it is nice to give the same gift because certainly the thought was there.  But if the bride's parents are paying for the wedding because that's traditional, and the groom's parents are paying for only the rehearsal dinner because that's their traditional role... well, I think the "thank you for throwing our wedding" gift should be bigger than the "thank you for throwing our rehearsal dinner" present.  Also, as hosts, my parents were also a lot more involved in our planning -- going to vendor meetings and such ... so their time commitment also was a ton more than John's parents'.  
    Posted by uppereastgirl[/QUOTE]

    I completely agree.  Completely.  My parents have worked their ass off to pull this together and that hasn't been the case for his parents.
    BabyFruit Ticker If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think. Even if we're apart i'll always be with you. - A.A. Milne
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    LolyalyssaLolyalyssa member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I say a weekend getaway or show tickets or Vegas/AC if they like that sort of thing.

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    edited December 2011
    My parents are hosting the wedding, while his parents are hosting the rehearsal dinner.  We have already decided that we want to get my parents theater tickets and then a gift certificate for dinner.  They don't come into the city much (even though both my brother and I live here!!!)  I haven't even thought about what we are going to get his parents as a gift.  I'm sure something more low-key, since that is more their style anyway.  Maybe a flowering tree to plant in their yard or something for their garden.  Maybe concert tickets....we'll see.

    I don't feel like the gifts have to be equal in value, since my parents and my FI's parents are VERY different and would appreciate different things.  I'm not basing their gifts on how much they contribute to the wedding.
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