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brother and his girlfriend

Well Maybe some will remember that i have a issue with my brother and his girlfriend a while back, when i asked my Friend to be my MOH (she is also my brothers girlfriend) and He had a problem with it and we haven't talked since then. I started getting a feeling a couple of weeks ago that she no longer wanted to be in the wedding. FYI i gave her 2 chances to back out before this happened. The girls and I were supposed to go to get their dress measurements and Friday night i got a text from the MOH that she wasn't able to make it and that she'd come down next weekend. I'm like fine, whatever i didn't mind even though i was a bit annoyed and that night i told my FI, i think she wants out. Its amazing how from just one text i get that vibe. Saturday the 3 girls came over and we get there and they get their measurements and the Lady tells me that my MOH should call in her measurement asap because the dress doesn't ship until May (wedding is in June) So i texted MOH 2 times that day, and She didn't text me back once. So i waited and Sunday i waited and Monday and Tuesday I came into work and emailed her about how annoyed i was that she didnt answer me and if she needs to tell me something that she should tell me. So a few minutes later i get an email back saying how she's so sorry and how my brother doesn't want her in the wedding and he wasn't going to come even if he was invited and She pretty much said she's not going to be in it. I wasn't mad and told to keep in touch. I told Fi and he, he basically wants nothing to do with my brother or her. He said he lost all respect for him because of this. I told my mom and she was mad and my mom told my dad and he says i should send and invite anyways, and pretend that it never happened. WTF?  Why would i do that? I told my mom i won't put myself through this bullsh*t with him. He's not invited and its final

Re: brother and his girlfriend

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    Danes983Danes983 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oh boy. I am sorry. I hope one of your friends will understand and be your MOH for you.  With that being said, do whats best for you. If its not to send an invite to either then go for it.  if you do still want her to come then send and invite it wont hurt if she says no, but atleast she will know you care about her weather your bro is a JackA$$ or not. GL
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    VanessaB24VanessaB24 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I rather not ask my other bms to be mohthe only reason is because i don't want someone to "take her place" or feel like if I ask her its like she will be "second pick". I don't want someone to feel bad. The girls have been very good about the whole thing.  I'm happy to have them here for me so i'll just let everything as it is.
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    edited December 2011
    I still think you should invite him, in the end he is your brother and family. My concern is if I didn't invite my brother I would regret it
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    edited December 2011
    I'm sure I missed the beginning of the story but whats your brothers issue to begin with?
    10.ten.10 My Bio Photobucket Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image 175 Invited to Party!
    image 119 Are ready to party!
    image 56 Will be missing out!
    image 0 Are MIA!
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    uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    This is so ridiculous -- I'm so sorry you have to go through it!  Truly a bizarre situation.

    Don't worry about having a MOH.  You'll be fine with just bridesmaids.

    I'd invite your brother either way, and if he comes just make sure that you have a family member doing damage control/keeping him away for you if needed on the wedding day.  
    image
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    VanessaB24VanessaB24 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Short recap of the brother issue- I asked his girlfriend(my friend too) to be my MOH and he didn't like that. When i asked her he text me that i should have asked him first because it seems they were fighting about it then he said it was fine he didnt mind... then they fought about it a month later and he said again I should have asked him first because he felt that he's staying with her for me. Then she was supposed to come to  get fitted 2 saturdays ago and they must have gotten into a fight and she just said I'm not going to be in your wedding. So he's a douche.
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    VanessaB24VanessaB24 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    funny thing is that he says he feels like he's staying with her for me but THEY ARE STILL TOGETHER!
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    edited December 2011
    It sounds like you hurt your brother's feelings. I'm sure that was not the intent, but it is what happened. He probably feels that you owe him an apology. It wouldn't be a bad idea to talk to him. You didn't necessarily do anything wrong, but you should let him know how you feel. He is your brother and you don't want to regret not having him there years down the road over what sounds like a big misunderstanding.

    As far as your MOH, she can't be that great of a friend if she is playing this game. Either you thought there was more to your relationship with her than she did or she isn't a very loyal friend.

    Even if you have already had an unsuccessful sit down with your brother, send him and her an invite. Not inviting him to your wedding is a much larger offense than unintentionally insulting him. And although it sounds like their relationship is a train wreck, they might marry someday and you don't want to be the cause of tension. Don't let the "I'm the bride" mind frame block what you would normally do in a situation.

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    VanessaB24VanessaB24 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The "i'm the bride" isn't blocking anything. My brother and I haven't gotten along ever. He stopped talking to me for 2 yrs prior to this and insulted my Fi and one day out of the blue he decided to pretend that nothing ever happened because he had a HUGE problem and wanted me to be someone to cry to but i didn't push him away or tell him off... i was there for him and talked to him. I was being a good sister and since we started talking again he's called me names and has said things to me to the point where i'm in tears and I'm supposed to apologized for no reason at all? Its true i am a bride but i try to accommodate everyone else's needs. My FI has had a lot of say in what's going on in our wedding and I haven't asked for any special treatments from anyone or ordered any of my girls to do anything except to be at my wedding. So i'm not being so kind of "bridezilla" because i have a jerk of a brother and it seems he wants to make me feel like crap.
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    edited December 2011
    Sounds like your brother needs a reality check and needs to realize that you asked her because she is your friend -- not because she is his girlfriend.
    Photobucket Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image182 invited
    image4 got lost on their way to the mailbox
    image127 will witness the anticipated bear union
    image51 will miss out a beary good time
    [RSVP Date 6/01] [125 min]
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    LolyalyssaLolyalyssa member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It sounds like now that your friend has dropped out all you have to decide is whether to send your brother an invite.  Since you have a few months to decide I would simmer on it and see how you feel then. 

    You don't want your brother to poison your experiences so just ignore him for now and make the decision when you sit down to address the invites. 

    That way the drama won't drive you crazy (easier said then done of course Smile ) !
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    edited December 2011
    Is your brother younger or older? He sounds incredibly immature and selfish and I am really sorry you have to go through this. My brother is 2.5 years younger than me and can be a serious pain in the a$$ most of the time. But at the end of the day he is my brother and I would do anything for him. Your situation is different though, especially since you said you never got along to begin with. You can only hope he'll grow up but if not, you tried your best. My brother ruined my birthday one year, but apologized the next day and all was forgotten. Good luck.
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    VanessaB24VanessaB24 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
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