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Is this common for a bach party?

What do you think of this..my gf is getting in July, it's a destination wedding. To be honest I was surprised I got invited as we haven't seen or really talked in almost a year.

We get an email 2 weeks ago ( her wedding is in July) from I am thinking her maid of honor, who tells us her bach party is being planned in New Orleans..from a wed-sun..UMMM not going to happen, so all the girls who were invited for many reasons couldn't go. So they have moved it to NYC, which is where my gf lives. They wanted to do a Fri, Sat, Sun thing, which is a lot to ask I think. Well again most of the girls, including me couldn't swing a 3 day thing, more so because of cost!

SO now the evite comes out, and the girl planning tells each girl to bring a bottle of liquor, to send her money for $30 for the decorations, and $60 for dinner, and then $30 for the pole dancing class, and then money for the club afterwards, which she doesn't know the cost of yet.

Isn't that a lot for the guests or do I just not know about all this?

Re: Is this common for a bach party?

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    edited December 2011
    I think it depends on each group of girls involved but I know several girls that had a 3 day weekend in AC and yes they were asked to pay for things in advance.
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    Lola MinnieLola Minnie member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    That doesn't sound like bad prices at all for a day.

    I wouldn't want to be stuck celebrating for 3 days to be honest.
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    leah2bleah2b member
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    edited December 2011

    Agreed that the price is not bad for a night out in NYC.  As for the multiple day event, it depends on the group of girls and what they have going on in their lives. Personally, as I don't have kids and like an excuse for vacation, I would love a trip somewhere.  I've been to bachelorette trips to Vegas, cruises, Miami, Delaware, etc and loved each one.

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    maddie7maddie7 member
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    edited December 2011
    For NYC that is fair.  The 2 other brides I work with are doing Miami, South Beach for 4 days with their girls, and the other just did Cancun for 4 days and later the Shore for a weekend... hmmm....  My girls are all married with babies so this is asking way too much, but a little get-away sounds nice!
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    edited December 2011
    Well, I kind of think it's strange to ask guests to pay for it.  I would think the hostesses should pay, not the guests.  *shrug*  I mean, sure, you should pay your OWN way (as in, your own dinner, your own drinks if you choose to drink), but you shouldn't have to pay for decorations or anything that makes the party the party.  I would hate having to party for 3 days, too, with someone I don't know very well.
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks all! I should have clarified, I thought it was strange that we were putting in for the decorations and the pre party stuff, like Lalanav  said, totally guests should be their way, just normally when I planned bach parties, it was the bridal party that put in for the pre planning with decorations and cocktails at the house.

    I am going to safely say that the price the girl said is not going to be the price. I think she hasn't really done her research and is just assuming, I did my homework very well for my gf's and I was still off with some numbers and the cost of stuff.
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    melissa82melissa82 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't know about "normal," because I don't really think it's normal to be invited to a bachelorette party for someone I haven't spoken to in a year? Normally, I would help with buying stuff, but only because if I were going it'd be a for a good friend/family and I'd genuinely be excited and want to help. Does that make sense? I would probably just decline the bparty in your case.

    P.S. What kind of "decorations" are we talking about that cost $30 pp?? =p
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    edited December 2011

    I agree- decorations should be paid for by the bridal party. I can see them asking to bring something (wine, beer, liquor) but if everyone does, it'll be a lot. Otherwise I think the price seems right. She could always buy the alcohol and add it into the cost for the hotel- might be easier that way if they want to split it.


    Are you going or are you just wondering if this is weird/normal? If you haven't spoken to her in a year and think it was odd you were invited, i probably wouldn't go.

    *~allie~*

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    edited December 2011
    I am going to go,  my other 2 close friends are going as well, though they feel the same about this girl , she kind of just disappeared the last year. There is no way I would do more than a night though and I told the girl planning that. I mean like others say, for a close friend/family memeber different story.

    No idea about decorations that cost that PER PERSON! SO STRANGE!
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    edited December 2011

    I had a weekend long bach party. We went down the shore for Fri-Sun.  It was awesome.  I honestly don't know what they paid, but I know they tried to keep it as inexpensive as possible.  We just hit the beach during the day so that didn't cost too much, other than the beach pass.  Everyone split the apartment type hotel room. 

    I don't understand what type of decorations are needed?! I would question that!

    ~Chelsea~
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    uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    That seems like a lot of decorating, which would seem silly to me, but the numbers don't seem that bad.  But it is weird for you to be invited, as Melissa said.
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