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Friday vs. Saturday and the Holidays...

Hope everyone is well!  As of right now my #1 choice for a wedding DATE is 12/23 because it's a Friday and they tend to be cheaper, and it's also our dating anniversary, so it has meaning for us.  Do anyone have any opinions about Friday weddings vs. Saturday weddings?  Also, how do you think this will affect my head count??  I don't want people to not come because it's a weekday or too close to Christmas.  Thoughts?? 

PS FI is Jewish so the Holiday thing is really more of a concern for my family.

Re: Friday vs. Saturday and the Holidays...

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    uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well, you have to do what works for your budget.  I would think you'd lose out on some people because of the date, but not because of the day of the week.  I personally find Friday weddings to be major pains in the neck, and much prefer Saturday weddings, but I'd never skip a wedding for that reason!!!   But people may be traveling on 12/23 because the Christmas holiday is so close and they are going to visit their families, or because they're Jewish and going away over that week.

    Our families are local, and we'd probably get out of work early on 12/23 (if we didn't have it off) because it is the last work day before the holiday, so 12/23 would probably actually be a good Friday for us to attend a wedding.  I'd be happier about that than a random Friday when we don't get out of work early, personally.  Our weekend would be hectic, but the holidays always are.  But I'd imagine people like us are the minority.

    What Saturday are you thinking of?  I would not do 12/24, if that's the option, unless a large majority of your guests are Jewish and also won't be traveling.

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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'd prefer a Saturday night to a Friday night.

    But ditto UpperEast that 12/23 is way better than 12/24 (for Christians, anyway).

    As for traveling to a wedding, it'd depend moreso on who it was for (a close friend or family member, vs. a "courtesy invite" situation) moreso than the actual date for me. Although Christmas-related travel can be a pain in the _ass, so that might make me think twice about attending.
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    DMLJDMLJ member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would def. not do the 24th!  The 23 may be ok but if your friends and family travel for the holidays, you may want to avoid it.
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    luv626keeluv626kee member
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    edited December 2011
    No I wouldn't do 12/24, but I'd really REALLY like to do 12/23, I just don't know how it would be perceived.  If I do a Saturday, I'd actually prefer the fall or early spring...but that's only if everyone in my family completely shoots down my 12/23 date Smile.  And I do agree on the Friday thing, I have attended several Friday weddings for my cousins, along with the rest of my familiy, so I'd hope they'd do the same for me.  My side is larger than his, so it def had a bigger impact for me since i'm the non-jewish one.  I guess, at the end of the day, it's MY wedding and I just need to do what I want and if people don't like it don't come...but I'd obvi hope they would sacrifice and choose to come.
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    sgdc2011sgdc2011 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It is too close to the holidays, prices for hotels will be more expensive, not everyone will be able to take off from work early since it is the day before a holiday (schools at least), lots of people will be traveling so traffic may be an issue.  Personally, I hate Friday weddings.
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    edited December 2011
    I think it is really close to the holidays and I think you may lose people but you would know best. Like you said, it is your wedding, and if that is when you want to have it, then so be it!
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    Reilly626Reilly626 member
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    edited December 2011
    Fridays are fine and we prefer them as then you have the rest of the weekend to yourself.  I hate ruining a Saturday for a wedding!  We did this past Saturday and we were miserable!
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    edited December 2011
    I definitely prefer a saturday night to a friday night.  And I honestly think that 12/23 is too close to Christmas and will definitely affect your guest attendance.
    ~Chelsea~
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    edited December 2011
    The Friday vs. Saturday thing isn't a big concern for me, but the Christmas thing definitely is.  I'm one of those people who is still shopping, cleaning, and going crazy the entire WEEK before Christmas, nevermind the day before Christmas Eve.  Like pp said, you know your guests better than we do, but I'd imagine that at least some non-immediate family members and/or friends may not show up.
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    rachaelb16rachaelb16 member
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    edited December 2011
    I don't know if I would attend a wedding on 12/23, it is just too close to Christmas.  For me the 23rd is busier than xmas or xmas eve because it is the day I have to get everything together.  I guess I would go if it was a VERY close friend or family member, but I would b!tch and moan about it.  But like pp said it is your wedding and you know your guests.
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    JulepheniaJulephenia member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Is your FI really religious? If he is, Friday night is the beginning of shabbas. You might want to check with his family first.

    My FI is Jewish, and while his family is not overly religious, we chose Sunday because some family members would not be comfortable with a Friday or Saturday afternoon wedding.
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    luv626keeluv626kee member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    No, they are not religious AT ALL.  I'm very up in the air.  I'd REALLY like to do this date because it has such meaning to me.  I have other cousins and whatnot who got married out of state on Fridays in the summer during our yearly 2-week vacation.  We actually had to leave our yearly vacation, that everyone knows about and my mom specifically requests that ppl don't do anything those weeks, to go to Texas (TWICE).  So not only did it take two weekdays, but it interrupted our family vacation.  I just think if we were able to do that for them, they should very well do it for me.  Idk...maybe i'm just being selfish, but like many of your reiterated, its MY wedding day and I need to do what I want.  If people don't want to come then so be it - an eye for an eye.  Also, if people are busy, they'll know with plenty of time, so they should be able to work everything out so they don't have last minute things to do that day - I know I would if I was a guest invited to attend a 12/23 wedding.  Uuuuugh so many decisions!!

    Thanks for all the input.
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    edited December 2011
    My birthday is December 19th and I can tell you that every single year its a pain to get people to come out for it because they are busy with the holidays.  A wedding is a little different and yes people will plan ahead but its still a very inconvenient time for most people to attend. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    edited December 2011
    I would agree with all the PPs. I have attended weddings on both Friday and Saturday nights. However, I also prefer Saturdays. I would definitely re-think attending a wedding around the holidays. My family is not religious but that is one of the bigger holidays for us. We always have plans and stuff going on. I understand the meaning of the day for you. My wedding date is our anniversary too. It just happens to be in May which is not around a holiday. It is definitely your wedding and you should do what makes you feel comfortable.
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    edited December 2011

    Honestly, when it comes to weddings I could care less if it was Friday, Saturday or Sunday (if I'm local). It's a wedding, and if you love the person you're going to be there for them. That being said - I'm out of town and prefer a Saturday wedding because it makes it easier on travel for me. However, Christmas eve we've got a lot going on (because we're Catholic) and it would be VERY difficult to compete with those plans. I would go for the Friday considering the holiday if you have to do that weekend.

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    edited December 2011
    Do you have a lot of OOT people? honestly, unless I was very very close to you I would not travel on 12/23. And even if I did, I would be pissed. Christmas is my holiday and I love it- I wouldn't want it ruined b/c of a wedding. I personally think it is way too close to Christmas for a wedding. I also prefer Saturday weddings in general as you don't have to take off work. I vote for you to move it to another date- I wanted to get married on our dating anniversary as well, but it just didn't work out.
    *~allie~*

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    edited December 2011

    I wouldn't recommend having your wedding on the 23rd.  My birthday is the 21st and I remember for my Sweet 16 we considered having it the weekend of my bday.  Before we booked it, we asked for some opinions and a lot of people seemed put off by the date.  We switched it to the middle of December instead and that seemed to be fine.  Also every year when I try to get people together for my bday it's always a hassle because people don't have time or the money to do anything. 

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    melissa82melissa82 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think it's too close to Christmas, but it depends on your family--do people normally travel somewhere else to spend Christmas with other family members? They may not want to change their plans. They won't really be able to come to your wedding and then leave for Christmas (unless they're driving).

    Also, if you have any close OOT friends/relatives, check with them first. If they don't normally come to NJ for Christmas, it might be a big expense. And it's not like they are going to fly back on Christmas Eve, so they're pretty much stuck in NJ for Christmas (which may make them decide not to come).
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