Did any of your BM surprise you when it came down to the wedding (LONG)?

Danes983

I am asking this bc I my BM are my closest college friends, sister and sister in law to be in the wedding. All women I would jump through hoops of fire for.  My MOH is kind of odd woman out being from my hometown not from college.  Anywho, she has been kind of cluing me in on what has been going on with the shower which is fine with me and I have kept my mouth shut not saying a word to anyone about how shocked I am about how some of them have acted during this whole process.  half of them havent turned in money for the shower (it was due oct 20, shower is this sunday) none of them have called to offer MOH help.  None of them have basically done anything. I am not planning on ever saying anything. I just am curious if this happened to anyone else and how you felt about it.

akmackay

Yeah, there were a lot of things surrounding the shower/b-party that I was told that shocked me. However, I don't think it's our place to say anything or get involved.

uppereastgirl

Honestly, I think it is kind of crappy of the MOH to tell you about this stuff.  She should let you enjoy your shower without knowing any of the drama going on behind the scenes.  What good does telling you about it do?

What do you mean by the money was "due" on October 20?  Due to whom? 

Maybe the MOH has given the girls the impression that she has everything under control?  Maybe she hasn't made it sound like she wants anyone else's help?  Maybe she isn't being very nice to them and she's sick of her?  If it is such a problem though, she should have gotten in touch with the girls and nicely asked them for help rather than bitching about them not volunteering.  Sure it would be nice of them to offer, but maybe they're waiting to hear from her. 

Heather822

Unfortunately these things seem to always create drama..... =(
I am sorry... don't take it personally. Wedding events unfortunately sometimes bring out the worst in people.

I just had a MOH, and she planned the shower with my mother~in~law. No drama there!

Reilly626

Of course things went on but I did not get involved. I was clued in after, and frankly I was thinking of confronting my MOH after the wedding, but after the speech she made and help that day I just couldnt and let it go to save a friendship.  She was very uninvolved, didnt call my mom back or even come to my Bach. Party. Disappointing to me but Im over it.

Danes983

Its just so upsetting. I know there is always drama. I expected like stupid stuff.  When I say the money was due its what they each decided on to contribute for the shower.  My MOH is paying the venue since she is the most local to it.  She told them 2 months before she needed it the date it had to be paid.  Well she had to resort to leaving nasty messages bc she doenst have extra money to front until the girls pay her.  I just look at it like I would do anything for these girls and thought that they felt the same.  It makes me question the friendships I have knowing that some of these girls have been down right terrible to my MOH.  Im not getting involved at all with it.  Just wanted to see if I was the only one.

cutiepie12702

I have some family members avoiding me and my mother like the plauge. As a result, my mother is planning and paying for my shower herself (which she doesn't mind, but it really ticks me off). Considering I practically planned one of my family member's entire weddings (they constantly texted me, asked my opinions and for help, etc. every single day) and they have not even called or texted me in the last six months, it really makes me very mad and disappointed. When I was going dress shopping I even asked them if they would like to come with me and they never got back to me. People are acting really strange and I have no idea what their problems are, but it's really disappointing and unexpected. I feel your pain, but try not to focus on this and let it bring you down. You have enough on your plate, you don't need to take on their problems too.

uppereastgirl

If she's leaving them nasty messages, she shouldn't be surprised that they aren't fighting each other to be on her decorating committee.  I'd suspect if it is 4 against 1 that there's a lot more to that story and that she isn't that innocent.

Stay out of it, and if she brings it up, try to change the subject as quickly as possible.  You can laugh about the war stories after the wedding, but it is really rude and inappropriate and inconsiderate for her to bitch to you about it now.

jchristel

I had a similar situation and I didn't get involved.  I was disappointed that a few people weren't helpful or didn't "pull their weight", but I saw a lot of that for myself (as well as heard it from one BM).  I think the most important part is to stay out of it and depending on what's going on, possibly re-evaluate relationships when it's all said and done. 

gibribuz

I completely understand how you feel.  One of my BM and I got into a disagreement because she was upset that I couldn't afford to spend $80+ for her husband's birthday celebration.  When I explained that we needed to save money and my first paycheck of the year was already spent on bills (I'm a teacher) she started complaining about the cost of the dress and hair and makeup.  I was very upset because I honestly thought $150 was a reasonable amount to spend on a dress.  It also bothered me because I never said or implied that hair and makeup was mandatory.  Since I don't have a MOH and she was complaining about the cost of everything, my mother decided to throw me my shower.  All the other BMs have offered to help decorate or help my mom but this BM has not. 

Sorry this response was a little long -- I guess I needed to vent a little.  Anyways... my point is that I know what you are going through. 

tinydancer842

Honestly...there are two sides to every story -- I don't know why you are so quick to assume everyone else are the bad guys. You only have ONE side to the story. Who knows what really went down -- maybe the other girls couldn't afford it & she didn't want to hear it. Maybe they never wanted to plan a shower & somehow got roped in. Whatever the case may be -- this is why you shouldn't be involved & she shouldn't be relaying these stories to you.