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Poll and one month eek! (not related to one another)

I just freaked when I saw the date. So much to do, so little time and I know it'll go by in a flash. ONE MONTH and it'll be my wedding day! Eek.

So random. One of my good friends lives in California and he just got a new job after nearly a year of unemployment and he won't be able to afford the flight or take time off. I was bummed he couldn't come, and then remembered that means I won't have his pictures either! (he is an amazing photographer, not professional, and while I have my photog set and am thrilled about him, I also was looking forward to have my friend's pictures... you know the ones that our photog will miss- we only have one photog- of my friends behind the scenes and such, the stuff that I'll never see). So, I thought about it and discussed it with my friend about how I could get him back to NJ for my wedding, for pictures lol. (yes, I'm obsessed with pictures and photography). He is completely bummed to not be coming and said if I pay for his flight ($300) he will take all the pictures I want (500+) edit them etc and send to me. So really no profit on his end except as he said "to see you while you are at your most beautiful". So, WWYD?

*~allie~*

Re: Poll and one month eek! (not related to one another)

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    edited December 2011
    Honestly, $300 is nothing in the grand scheme of things... and the closer to the wedding it gets, the more freely I'm spending money. Haha. I say go for it!!
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    sgdc2011sgdc2011 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think it depends more on how much you want that friend there, not based on his doing extra pictures.
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    jtheissjtheiss member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would normally say YES! Go for it! I love pictures and the more pictures the better. And $300 in the grand scheme of things is nothing. BUT, if he has a new job taking the time off to travel may be more of an issue than the money. I would seriously check with him about this before you buy the ticket. But if he can get the time off to come, then I would do it.
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    Lola MinnieLola Minnie member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would vote for no because you'll have a lot of other people taking photos and I'm not the type of person to give a handout even if it comes with something in return.

    I'm sure you're spending a nice chunk of change on your photographer so I wouldn't feel the need to have additional pro (or semi-pro ha) pics.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_poll-one-month-eek-not-related-one-another?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:9c95785e-e4c5-4983-b0c5-8fe227c26a5bPost:d5662655-9838-4ee4-aeca-c0238d2ecab9">Re: Poll and one month eek! (not related to one another)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Honestly, $300 is nothing in the grand scheme of things... and the closer to the wedding it gets, the more freely I'm spending money. Haha. I say go for it!!
    Posted by rlb81[/QUOTE]

    haha that's the thing- now that it's so soon I'm like "screw it I'm doing everything I want I don't care about money anymore" which is so bad since I've tried to be so budget conscious this whole time lol. But it meant I got my uplighting :-)
    *~allie~*

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    Lola MinnieLola Minnie member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    PS - congrats on the one month!!!

    The time flies!
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_poll-one-month-eek-not-related-one-another?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:9c95785e-e4c5-4983-b0c5-8fe227c26a5bPost:9e151667-56e9-4418-a4c6-7adc6716c93d">Re: Poll and one month eek! (not related to one another)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would normally say YES! Go for it! I love pictures and the more pictures the better. And $300 in the grand scheme of things is nothing. <strong>BUT, if he has a new job taking the time off to travel may be more of an issue than the money. I would seriously check with him about this before you buy the ticket.</strong> But if he can get the time off to come, then I would do it.
    Posted by jtheiss[/QUOTE]
    ^^This^^  And I'm also worried that your real photographer might get a bit annoyed if your friend is planning on taking hundreds of pictures.  Too many flashes at inopportune times will lead to poor photo quality by the photographer you paid over $1,000 for.
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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_poll-one-month-eek-not-related-one-another?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:9c95785e-e4c5-4983-b0c5-8fe227c26a5bPost:e033ffd7-af55-4bb1-9068-cee531a495a4">Re: Poll and one month eek! (not related to one another)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think it depends more on how much you want that friend there, not based on his doing extra pictures.
    Posted by sgdc2011[/QUOTE]

    Ditto

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_poll-one-month-eek-not-related-one-another?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:9c95785e-e4c5-4983-b0c5-8fe227c26a5bPost:9e151667-56e9-4418-a4c6-7adc6716c93d">Re: Poll and one month eek! (not related to one another)</a>:
    [QUOTE]BUT, if he has a new job taking the time off to travel may be more of an issue than the money. I would seriously check with him about this before you buy the ticket.
    Posted by jtheiss[/QUOTE]

    Ditto again
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    edited December 2011
    Oh he said it's not an issue for the flight/time off- he already has one picked out if I decide to do it, I think he would need a half day or something which he said he can make up the time and his boss agreed to.

    peaches... I wish I only paid $1000 for my photog lol

    My mom has been the one really pushing it since I mentioned it to her- she knows how good his pictures come out and had terrible pictures from her wedding. Her biggest thing for me is to have beautiful pictures to remember the day by since she doesn't. 

    Keep coming with your input!! 
    *~allie~*

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    leah2bleah2b member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    One month to go!  $300 to have a great friend there is nothing and would be a nice gesture.  But as someone said above, can he take the time off?  Especially since he has a new job and has been unemployed for a while now - he probably needs to be careful with requesting time during those first 6 months of employment.  I would just check with him to make sure he really feels comfortable with taking the time and that it won't imperil his job.  If the time is not a problem, definitely go for it!

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    edited December 2011
    And, I do really want him there. I was thrilled at the aspect that he would be there, but I wouldn't normally buy someone's plane ticket just to come, unless they were part of the bridal party and really couldn't afford it or something. I do think that this would be a great way to have him there and to have his amazing pictures, but just based on me paying for my friend to come to my wedding, no I don't think I would do that. But again, most of my other very close friends are making the trip whether they live 10 minutes away or in Oregon (or Texas or Florida... lol). He's the only one of my friends that can't make it, which I guess is odd?
    *~allie~*

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    edited December 2011
    I LOVE pictures so I know where you're coming for. My vote is Yes Def!
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    uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you're having second thoughts about not having a second photographer, I would ask your professional photographer if it is too late for you to pay to have a second shooter.  

    Reasons why I wouldn't want/expect your friend to take 500+ photos at your wedding:

    1.  He was invited to attend as a guest, and should be a guest rather than staff.  To take 500+ photos will take up a lot of time at your wedding.

    2.  He won't have the opportunity to get into the places your photographer will.  Do you really want him jumping into the aisle in the middle of the ceremony to get a good photo?  With more than one shooter, you want them to be coordinated.

    3.  He may drive your hired photographer crazy (and your hired photographer may have put a "no other photographers" clause in your contract -- some do).

    4.  An amateur photographer may not be great at event photography -- it is different than taking vacation or landscape or portrait photos.  Who knows how well they'd turn out.

    5.  Editing 500+ photos will take forever.  You're asking a whole lot of him.

    6.  Taking time off may be a big issue with his new job.

    7.  Where is he staying?  How is he getting from home to the airport/airport to where staying/etc.?  What is he eating?  Travel can cost a lot more than just the flight.  If he couldn't afford the flight for $300, I would think the incidentals may be a hardship too.  And you'll have to pay for him to be at your wedding.  This may end up being expensive for him, and/or more than $300 for you.

    Most of all, I think it is a combo of not being fair to him and maybe being able to spend a bit more to get a professional second shooter.

    We had a friend who is a professional photographer (at that time she was only ever a second shooter at weddings, but not she's started to do work as a primary shooter).  She took quite a few pictures at our wedding.  I certainly wouldn't have paid $300 for them -- they weren't that good.  None compare to what our photographers took, and you can tell that she didn't have the opportunity to get close to important moments.
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    edited December 2011
    good points uppereast.. let me think these through

    1- he would already be taking the pictures. it's what he does at every event he has ever been to, I think it's in his blood lol
    2- I don't necessarily want him to be where my photog is, I want him to be where my photog ISN'T b/c those are the things I'm going to miss having on camera.
    3- I thought of this. I need to look at the contract. Technically he would be a guest who would be taking pictures, not a second photog
    4- event photog is more his style than landscape etc so I'm not worried about this
    5- he is the one who mentioned editing, not me. Again, he loves this stuff and would've done it anyway if he came to the wedding
    6- he would fly in friday night/leave sunday so would only need to take maybe 1/2 day off which he talked with his boss about.
    7- He is from the area, we went to high school together, so sleeping/eating etc would be at his parents house. Yes, I would be paying for his dinner as well but that's b/c he's my guest first and foremost, and a friend who takes photography very seriously second.

    I looked at to add a second photog with mine is another $1500 which is way more than I'm willing to pay.
    *~allie~*

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    Lola MinnieLola Minnie member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would definitely check out the contract for point #3 - I only say this because I met with my photog for our final payment last week and he made us sign that we would not have any other photographer there.
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    DandT1206DandT1206 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    set up a photosharing site (like Shutterfly - I have the link in my siggy), that way all guests have an opportunity to post their pics for free.  I made business cards on Vistaprint and put them at each place setting.  A decent number of people uploaded their photos.  Eventually I am going to order some prints from the shutterfly site and make my own album (in addition to the professional album).

    and I agree with this:
    I think it depends more on how much you want that friend there, not based on his doing extra pictures.
    Posted by sgdc2011
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    mrsdevilguymrsdevilguy member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I say if it means that much to you and there won't be any conflicts with your hired photographer than go for it!
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    LolyalyssaLolyalyssa member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I say pay for him to come because you really want to have him share your special day.  Whether he takes no pictures, 10 pictures or 500 pictures it doesn't matter.  Make the plane ticket a gift to him from you and anything you get from it is just icing on the cake.  When you buy him the ticket and make him feel like he has to take pictures and if something goes wrong it could damage your friendship.

    (of course he will take pics but have no expectations about it and then it will be better for everyone and never harm your friendship)
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    edited December 2011
    I voted to do it - you might pay $300 to have a special friend be there on your day anyway, if need be.  So, why not?
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    jchristeljchristel member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I know you said it's in his blood, but what if he spent more time socializing than both of you expected and he didn't end up taking a lot of pictures- or you weren't happy with the pictures he took.  Would you be upset that you paid for his ticket and didn't get what you agreed to out of it?

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    felicia220felicia220 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I said Special Snowflake.  Allie you said he was your guest first and foremost.  So if it means that much to you for him to be there then you should do it.  The pictures are something he would do anyway and he is not a contracted photographer so your paid photographer can't say a word about it.  He is just a guest taking lots of pictures.  And it doesn't matter how many pictures he takes, but it sounds like he will take a lot.  It is more about the fact that he will be there and maybe get a few shots (saying this as worst case scenario)  So, I think the decision is easy, if you are that close, pay for the flight and get your friend to your wedding.  I can't see anyway that you would regret this.  He will take the pictures he takes and be there to celebrate, what more can you ask for :)  
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