remembering lost loved ones

kjo127

I've seen lots of posts about remembering grandparents, parents, etc. and we were definitely planning to do that in our ceremony.  We are not engaged just yet, but have talked a lot about wedding plans, etc.  But I don't know if anyone has had quite the experience I have had.    Unfortunately, my best friend (and planned MOH) recently passed away suddenly.  I don't plan to choose another MOH.  I need ideas on a way to remember her in a very special way, because she was not only a part of my life, she was going to be a part of my wedding in a very big way.I am close with her family and was thinking of possibly having them present her bouquet, or light a candle or something similar.Any suggesions are appreciated.  Thanks!

jenn.daniel

The programs at the last wedding I went to had a note along the lines of "flowers in the loving memory of...."

Da0419

My grandmother, who used to call us two peas in a pod, died about two months before my fiance and I got engaged, and two years later, I haven't even begun to get over it.  She was part of the Unitarian church, so we're honoring her by playing "Sprirt of Life" during the ceremony.  I'm also going to be attaching a small picture of her to my bouquet so that she'll be walking down the aisle with me.  I think that lighting a candle is a nice idea.  You could also have your ushers seat her family near the aisle and then you could present them with flowers from your bouquet as you walk down the aisle in remembrance of her.  If you're thinking about carrying a picture of her with you  down the aisle, there are little photo charms that are on a ribbon.  Good luck, and I really am sorry for your loss.

aerinpegadrak

I'm sorry for your loss.  Whatever you plan to do, clear it with her family first, because if they show up not expecting a memorial, it might be very painful for them.You can still list her in your program as your MOH.  Perhaps you can use her favorite color or flower in a significant capacity.

Catwoman708

I never cared for obvious memorials to deceased loved ones at weddings. Weddings are just so emotional already, and the occasion should be a joyous one about the present and future, not mourning the past. Maybe something subtle: A small table to the side or near the altar, with a candle, and a bouquet. You will know what it means, and feel your dear friend's presence looking over you, but it will just appear to be added decoration to the guests. A small token on your bouquet that reminds you of your friend. A small butterfly, bird, special flower, a locket, or a charm attached to your bouquet. A notation in the program that the altar flowers are dedicated to the memories of the deceased friend and grandparents.

caymanianseminole

I am soo sorry for your loss! I agree with several of the posters - clear it with her family first (which I'm sure would not be a problem)... My fiance and I were very close with our grandparents, and plan to do something special to remember them by - right now we are trying to decide between: - laying a rose on empty seats at the ceremony (each rose on the empty seat signifiies one loved one who is not there) - having a memorial table, with photos and candles. during the ceremony, we would ask our parents (or in your case, I would ask your friend's parents) to light the candles in memory of our lost loved ones. I hope this helps and my prayers are with you as I know this must be so difficult to do without your best friend/MOH!

cukimerrydoll

We're putting candles on the steps to the alter.  If you decide to go the candle route, see if your florist can do a wreath (not sure how else to describe it) in your bouquet flowers to go around the candle - sort of like the ones they use for the holidays.  That way, the candle would in a way be holding the flowers as well.That would give her special recognition without calling too much attention to the grief of your loss.A note in the program is always a good way to go as well, then guests would still be able to understand the significance.I'm sorry for your loss.  My FH and I are struggling through a similar loss, and it is very difficult for us as well.

dreambig527

absolutely clear it with her family and other close friends first.  FI lost close members of his family and doesn't want any sorts of memorial for them there.  It would be a painful reminder on what should be a happy, exciting day. If I were you, I think a simple note in the programe in memory of those who are in your hearts for your special day would suffice.  If her family is OK with it, then maybe put a single rose or something somewhere in her honor.

ashleypastori

I agree that you should talk to her family about any memorial you do for her.  I was thinking maybe a small table with a candle, her picture, and some flowers if you want a more public memorial.  I also like the idea of carrying her photo or something that belonged to her with your bouquet if you want to do it semi private.  Having her parents light a candle in her honor is also a nice gesture if it wouldn't be too painful for them.  Good luck to you and I'm sorry for your loss.