Engagement Party invites sent out yesterday nervous for dads response! semi dad rant!

NJBRIDE324

I sent out our engagement party invites yesterday.  My mom and step dad are having the party for us at their house.  I am nervous for my dads reaction when he gets his invite in the mail. 

He has never been to my mom's house so I am sure he is going to be very nervous to attend the party.  He also thinks we are spending way too much money on the wedding so I am waiting for the sarcastic comments to start. 

I know he is going to say why is your mom having a party?  He does not seem very happy for us at all.  I got engaged 2 months ago and I still have not been asked to meet up for a dinner so he can see us to celebrate.  I didnt even get a card in the mail.  And when we booked our wedding hall all he kept asking were questions about money when he is not paying for anything so its really none of his business how much everything costs.

Sorry for the rant I just know that he is going to call me right away and say negative comments about the party. 

akmackay

I'm sorry you feel this way. I do however think it's absurd you expected a card/dinner from your father. A simple congratulations is plenty.

NJBRIDE324

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_engagement-party-invites-sent-out-yesterday-nervous-dads-response-semi-dad-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:d37f67a7-f795-4ff0-90a9-86f270e0ae0aPost:d85e0b3c-896c-4086-8e34-015ccaf91243">Re: Engagement Party invites sent out yesterday nervous for dads response! semi dad rant!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry you feel this way. I do however think it's absurd you expected a card/dinner from your father. A simple congratulations is plenty.
Posted by akmackay[/QUOTE]

I am sorry but I dont think a congratulations card is asking for too much. 

akmackay

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_engagement-party-invites-sent-out-yesterday-nervous-dads-response-semi-dad-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:d37f67a7-f795-4ff0-90a9-86f270e0ae0aPost:e596fea5-1e18-4873-9722-930f55d152a0">Re: Engagement Party invites sent out yesterday nervous for dads response! semi dad rant!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Engagement Party invites sent out yesterday nervous for dads response! semi dad rant! : I am sorry but I dont think a congratulations card is asking for too much. 
Posted by NJBRIDE324[/QUOTE]

Coming from someone with a father who doesn't care, but cares too much alll at the same time- I think it is. Of course I don't know your father or your relationship- but my dad would never give a card for that. Birthday, yes. Engagement, no. My dad was still living at home when I got engaged and all I got was a congrats and I was satisfied with that. I would doubt that many of the girls on here got a card from their dad (unless their mom bought it etc).

mariaNryan

I would like to say I didnt get a card and barely a congrats from both my parents! But I do however feel all the things ive been through this entire process your dad should just go to your engagement party and be happy for the both of you and not dwell on the location

jeanna85

Maybe I'm weird but I would never expect a card from my parents. Just an excited "congratulations" and a hug or something. I feel like getting a card from a parent would seem less personal.

uppereastgirl

I'm sorry to hear that.  But I agree with some of the others -- I wouldn't expect any man, particularly my father, to send me a card for my engagement.  It does seem impersonal to me.  It is a shame that he hasn't tried to get you together to celebrate, but maybe something more is going on (maybe he feels bad that he can't contribute to the wedding or take place in the planning?)

Have you thought about maybe calling him to tell him about the party?  Maybe keeping him more in the loop will make his behavior a little better?  I would imagine it will be weird for him if the first he hears of his daughter's engagement party is an invitation arriving in the mail...  That would certainly put me on the defensive.

akmackay

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_engagement-party-invites-sent-out-yesterday-nervous-dads-response-semi-dad-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:d37f67a7-f795-4ff0-90a9-86f270e0ae0aPost:f44d121a-137c-4efa-9fb0-9aa45777a6ba">Re: Engagement Party invites sent out yesterday nervous for dads response! semi dad rant!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry to hear that.  But I agree with some of the others -- I wouldn't expect any man, particularly my father, to send me a card for my engagement.  It does seem impersonal to me.  It is a shame that he hasn't tried to get you together to celebrate, but maybe something more is going on (maybe he feels bad that he can't contribute to the wedding or take place in the planning?) Have you thought about maybe calling him to tell him about the party?  Maybe keeping him more in the loop will make his behavior a little better?<strong>  I would imagine it will be weird for him if the first he hears of his daughter's engagement party is an invitation arriving in the mail...  That would certainly put me on the defensive.
</strong>Posted by uppereastgirl[/QUOTE]

Very good point.

NJBRIDE324

Maybe I didnt provide enough info.  I only said the card thing because my dad lives about an hour away and he has not even said congratulations and really doesnt seem to happy for us.  I guess maybe its because we are not close.  I see him about twice a year. 

My older brother just turned 30 last month as well so my dad is the one who brought dinner up to me to celebrate our engagement and my brothers 30th bday.  I was not expecting an extravagent dinner.  We usually drive out to his house and he cooks dinner for everyone.  I guess you ladies are right about the card.