Hi! I'm new here... sort of...

jdean693

My name is Jen.  I'm a widow who is getting married again.  The date is still up in the air but I found the stationary set that we like.  (I figured it is a start.)  Our theme is stars/nighttime.  Our colors are dark blue, white, with accents of silver, gold, and shimmering things to remind people of the night sky.  We have our BP set.

The reason the date is still up in the air is because I am going to re-enter the workforce next month (Hooray!) after about 15 months of unemployment. My Fiance is still currently looking for work too.  He's an EMT and figures he can hopeful swap shifts if he get something and we officially set a date. 

We are hoping to do a Friday Night wedding in either March or November of next year with a delayed honeymoon.  Right now the March date is looking rather unlikely, cause the knot sent me a reminder that that is only 5 months away and we have no place booked (and currently no extra money even to book a place with), and even with my family being able to pull together my first wedding reception (I eloped the first time) in 3 months, that really does not seem like a lot of time with my fiance's HUGE NY/NJ Italian family. 

So right now I am doing a lot of lurking, gathering idea, but just wanted to pop my head up and wave hello to the other brides, newlyweds, and others on the board.

Main thing on my mind now (beside my new job) is getting a place and a date set.  I keep coming back to this being the first major step that needs to be undertaken.  I get overwhelmed looking at the planner I bought. (Does this mean I should get another one? Cause I look at the bright pink beast and want to run away!)  Also, with the new position, should we give up on the Friday Night, and go with a Saturday?  I don't want to do anything to upset the new bosses.  They know I am engaged but wedding details didn't come in the interview.

Thanks,
Jen

mbcdefg

Hi and welcome

Unless you are totally against a March wedding, I wouldn't completely count it out. Plenty of girls here have organized lovely weddings in 6 months or less. And another perk: most reception halls will offer you a discounted price if you book a short-term date that they couldn't otherwise fill.

My reception was at The Tides in North Haledon, and the lowest price we were quoted was for a Friday night in March. Someone else who used to chat here got a great deal with them for booking a short-term date.

It's really not impossible. If you are the type of person who can make quick decisions, and who's happy just booking things rather than spending a lot of time considering options and comparing vendors, you can do it! I did this with the DJ and the florist, since I didn't have my heart set on anything/anyone in particular ... I asked for vendor recommendations here, I contacted two well-rated DJs and picked the one with the better price, and I visited one florist and I liked his quote so that was that. We spent a lot of time and research picking a photographer because that was important to us. We skipped a videographer and favors and a lot of tiny details because we didn't care about them.

jdean693

Cool!  It's good to know that being on a short time line can work to our advantage.

I just see the big pink monster telling me that I need x amount of months to get this or that and I was thinking that if I am for March 25th, that I don't have that amount of time to do those things according to the book.

We know a crime scene photograph who does weddings on the side, but I have heard mixed reviews about his photographs.  I get the impression that a lot of his photos tend to look a bit like his day job.

I am not overly picky.  Jim (my fiance) can be. 

I guess right now the whole job coming together (that happened today) and also the reality of being engaged is setting in at the same time.   So what other things can I work on without the venue and or date?  I know I can get a cake topper. 

Edit - I called Jim my finance.  He is not my finance.  He's the love of my life.

mbcdefg

I wouldn't put a whole lot of stock into what wedding planning books (or even the Knot's checklist, for that matter) tell you what you must do and when you must do it.

If it helps at all, here's the list of stuff I did for my wedding. I had a yearlong engagement, but up until the last couple of months I was only doing a few tasks a month ... and most of that was taken care of via e-mail, snail mail or phone. For example, with my previous example with the DJ, I never even met him until the wedding day.

What can you do now if you don't have a date or venue yet? Hrm:

- if you want a church/temple wedding, reach out to your minister and ask what the necessary preparations are.
- research some venues and ask about prices and open dates
- talk to your families and get a guest list together
- if you're confident about the type/formality of wedding you'll have, you could look for your gown now (meaning, don't buy a big fancy ballgown if there's a chance you could wind up having a casual beach wedding). If you wanted to marry in March, you'd probably need to rush-order a gown, buy a sample from a salon, buy a nice used dress off eBay or preownedweddingdresses.com, or buy something simple from the Nordstrom or J. Crew websites. Or order a bridesmaid's dress or a formal department store dress in white (or whatever color you want).
- register
- look for wedding rings

kasabby

Hi Jen! Welcome to the board! 

First, don't worry about the planner! I find a lot of those timelines are garbage. Like mbc said, you can easily plan the wedding in 6 months but you really have to know what you want. 

If you are indecisive, I would say your best bet would be November. That would give you a little more time to make decisions and get what you want.

Happy Planning! 

ksen820

when we started, we weren't sure what we were looking for in a venue and pricing, but we bought a few magazines that have a bunch of venues (and prices) and called around and found an amazing deal (november is off season so it's much cheaper). 

So, if ur not sure where to start, try looking at some magazines, it might inspire you

jdean693

Here is what we have done so far:

The registry is done.
Jim's picked out his ring.  I am going to order it when we have the cash and after we confirm his size.
I am watching David's Bridal for their dress sale. Does anyone know when that is? I am going to take my sister (who is my MOH), my Mom, and my future MIL along for this.  My Niece (JBM) and Nephew (RB) will be there if my sister's hubby can't stay home with them or she can't get a sitter for them.
I actually have information on several venues that offer places for cermonies too. We have people from NJ, Staten Island, and a bunch from Florida that may be heading here for the wedding so we thought it best to keep them contained in one location for everything. LOL
 

My main concern is the new position.  I have an outstanding legal issue from late hubby's death that is also why we are hesitant to set a date. (The case has been dragging on for over 2+ years now.)  I may have to go to court for that on a work day.   Then to take off another date to get married when I am in a temp to perm... I just don't know.  I keep thinking that maybe doing a Saturday night might be a better idea just to play it safe with work.  The only day I am against getting married on is Sunday because everyone who has to work, has to go back the next day. 

peaches85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_hi-im-new-here-sort-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:dc5958d1-4ffc-4ac9-97c4-c9fd96bd1746Post:7a3b0d95-5f86-43aa-b115-e25f7cdad63c">Re: Hi! I'm new here... sort of...</a>:
[QUOTE]Cool!  It's good to know that being on a short time line can work to our advantage. I just see the big pink monster telling me that I need x amount of months to get this or that and I was thinking that if I am for March 25th, that I don't have that amount of time to do those things according to the book. We know a crime scene photograph who does weddings on the side, but I have heard mixed reviews about his photographs. <strong> I get the impression that a lot of his photos tend to look a bit like his day job.</strong> I am not overly picky.  Jim (my fiance) can be.  I guess right now the whole job coming together (that happened today) and also the reality of being engaged is setting in at the same time.   So what other things can I work on without the venue and or date?  I know I can get a cake topper.  :) Edit - I called Jim my finance.  He is not my finance.  He's the love of my life.
Posted by jdean693[/QUOTE]
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  :-)

jdean693

hehe - I was wondering if someone was going to catch that comment.

daysleeper3

If you are looking for a sale at David's Bridal just make an appointment to look at dresses, because they are almost always "On sale". 

Their website shows alot that are dicontinued and cheap, but alot are only in certain sizes. 

If you order a dress from them you should get it before March, they are pretty quick. 

I didn't order my dress there, but it still only has a four month time frame so you would still be ok.

jdean693

Update.  I am changing our date.  There is something with my late husband's estate that is nearly over, and until it's over... I just want to make a fresh start with Jim and not have this monster hanging over my head.

We decided to have our ceremony at our Squad building (We both volunteer for an EMS Squad.)  Since we are members, we can have the site for free, and set up the day before to look very nice.  The space we can use is HUGE but we would have our reception elsewhere.   The walls are even the prefect shade of blue for a nighttime sky wedding and Christmas lights are going on sale soon!

One of our groomsmen volunteered to get ordained so he could marry us.  We are seriously thinking about letting him go for it.

We are using our squad's show ambulance as the "limo" for us to go to reception with another squad member driving it.  We will rent a limo for the rest of the bridal party.  

We started looking at rings.  He is finding a lot he likes. (Yay!)  Surprise - I am the one not finding anything and I am usually easy to please. (I hope this isn't a sign as to how the rest of the planning is going to go!)