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The dollar signs in their eyes

I went to a bridal show this weekend with FI. This isn't the first I've been to, but it made me sick.

I know this is a business for these people and they are trying to pay their bills, but I am just feeling so disgusted with this whole thing today.

They size you up to see what they can get out of you. Once I start asking serious questions or just show that I am not a la-la bride whose daddy is paying for everything, they move on to someone else.

Some venue places are advertising prices in magazines or on Web sites, and when you walk in the door and ask for the package information it is much higher. One place told me they were discontinuing the package that they are currently advertising by my wedding date and that there is nothing she could do for me. Not even willing to sit and work out a menu that works for me.

I know this is a lucrative business in this area, but do they have no customer service skills? I am not a bridezilla, but this is my special day -- not theirs. If they are not willing to work with me, why should I deal with them? I just keep crossing the jerky places off the list, since there are seriously tons of places to do this thing in Monmouth County.

I know I am venting, but I am just really hoping to find some reasonable people out there, or I'm going to lose it on one of these jerks. Are you ladies running into the same junk? How are you treating the situation?

Re: The dollar signs in their eyes

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    edited December 2011
    I have to say, I never went to a bridal show, and I have no interest in doing so for just that reason. It just seems so... gross...

    My advice is to simply do research and contact personally vendors with whom others brides have had a good experience. Then you can weed out a lot of the jerky ones via e-mail ;-)
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    edited December 2011
    With ones like this, I just move on. As you said, you don't want to work with them and there are plenty more. I found that a lot of the vendors at bridal shows are there for a reason: they can't get business otherwise. One photographer I was talking to was saying how high quality his stuff was compared to everyone else.. just as I turned the page in his sample album and the picture was falling off. Come on!

    This board tends to give me a better idea of who is good for certain things than what the bridal show would. I did get my DJ and limo by going to the bridal shows, and have gotten a lot of ideas that I am DIY so I do find them worthwhile to go to- especially when there is food and cake involved :-)
    *~allie~*

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    edited December 2011
    Oh wow, I'm sorry that you're being treated this way. Thankfully I have not bumped into too many snotty vendors, although I have to say that there are a couple that rubbed me the wrong way, one was a ceremony musician, another a DJ company and another a bridal shop whom I called on the phone to ask a question. I called to ask if they accepted walk ins, I already have my dress but wanted to go look for a 2nd to change into, the answer I got "Our prices start at $2,500".....and hung up, I sat there starting at my phone like WTF
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    edited December 2011
    Also, when I knew that some vendors I was looking at were going to be at the same bridal show I went to see how they interacted etc. It does give you a good insight into who they are and how they will treat you on the day of. the good, the bad and the ugly of it
    *~allie~*

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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I never went to any bridal shows, either. Although we did talk to several vendors who were unwilling to work with us, so I hear where you're coming from.

    I think it's helpful to remember that, while everything is negotiable, these places also need to make a profit off of their clients. I can also respect that it's hard for a vendor to name their price and then deal with brides/grooms who insist on getting the same thing for much less money (not saying that you are going this, but I think a lot of vendors have to deal with this). So you have to find a compromise ... instead of "I want to pay $X for A, B and C," maybe present it as, "We can afford to spend $X. Can we work something out for that price?" You might have to guarantee more people, cut back on food or change your date, but if your price is reasonable then I think most good places will at least hear you out.

    And while every good vendor wants you to be happy so that you'll recommend their services and bring them more business, I think that there ARE some out there who are genuinely interested in you as individual people. I get that vibe from our photographer, personally ... but at the same time, I know that our hall and other vendors are dealing with lots of other couples and we're probably not high on their list of priorities. And that's O.K.
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    uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_dollar-signs-their-eyes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:e3b8ce54-4539-4548-9a3a-6b46fd85ca5aPost:6134c1c6-dc1e-4e57-906f-6a584e80df21">Re: The dollar signs in their eyes</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have to say, I never went to a bridal show, and I have no interest in doing so for just that reason. It just seems so... gross... My advice is to simply do research and contact personally vendors with whom others brides have had a good experience. Then you can weed out a lot of the jerky ones via e-mail ;-)
    Posted by Just Jen[/QUOTE]

    Ditto. 

    Having heard enough stories about bridal shows (sales pressure, getting on email and phone lists that you can't get removed from, winning "door prizes" with all sorts of strings attached) ... they didn't seem worth my while. Seemed to be mostly skeevy, pushy vendors, who are exactly the type of people I'd never have rapport with and therefore would never book.  Particularly when there are so many good vendors out there who don't waste their time advertising at these things.

    There are a very few bridal shows (The Wedding Salon, for example), but a lot of the others sound like used car lots.
    image
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    uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_dollar-signs-their-eyes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:e3b8ce54-4539-4548-9a3a-6b46fd85ca5aPost:54331d2a-59d6-41ab-860e-d0664f2165e3">Re: The dollar signs in their eyes</a>:
    [QUOTE]. I called to ask if they accepted walk ins, I already have my dress but wanted to go look for a 2nd to change into, the answer I got "Our prices start at $2,500".....and hung up, I sat there starting at my phone like WTF
    Posted by kathygrzywnowicz[/QUOTE]

    Was that Kleinfeld?  I remember when I called to set up an appointment there that was one of the first things they said to me on the phone.  Um, that's nice, I don't remember asking that?  I should have taken that as a sign that I wouldn't like the customer service there.  And this was before Say Yes to the Dress, so I don't think they were getting quite as many girls back then going there just so they could say that they went to the place on the show (although I think it was always kind of touristy in that way).
    image
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    Danes983Danes983 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I went to a bridal show after I got engaged at the hotel I used to work at.  I ended up finding my Photograpger there.They were nice.  The DJ I met was the owner and a complete JA.  I ended up giving him my  name and some nice young  man called me and I said "I dont think I can afford you, and  the guy that was at the show was rude"  he apologized so i agreed to meet with him.  I ended up picking  them just because the guy was so nice I met with and very accomodating. But trust me, I was like FU buddy. Now I wont even speak with the owner.
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    uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_dollar-signs-their-eyes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:e3b8ce54-4539-4548-9a3a-6b46fd85ca5aPost:fe7e989e-da68-41ca-9d7c-1c575280f331">Re: The dollar signs in their eyes</a>:
    [QUOTE]Although we did talk to several vendors who were unwilling to work with us, so I hear where you're coming from. I think it's helpful to remember that, while everything is negotiable, these places also need to make a profit off of their clients. I can also respect that it's hard for a vendor to name their price and then deal with brides/grooms who insist on getting the same thing for much less money (not saying that you are going this, but I think a lot of vendors have to deal with this). 
    Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

    I agree with you (as usual).  The vendors who will cut their price or thrown in a ton of extra stuff without there being some sort of compromise are probably playing the car salesman game where there's a sticker price and a real price and they'll negotiate with you to make you feel like you're getting a great deal (even though you're ultimately paying what the service is worth).  I hate that game, and don't trust salespeople who play it.
    image
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_dollar-signs-their-eyes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:e3b8ce54-4539-4548-9a3a-6b46fd85ca5aPost:5318dfd5-7a4e-4d91-9e72-123987724b2f">Re: The dollar signs in their eyes</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: The dollar signs in their eyes : Was that Kleinfeld?  I remember when I called to set up an appointment there that was one of the first things they said to me on the phone.  Um, that's nice, I don't remember asking that?  I should have taken that as a sign that I wouldn't like the customer service there.  And this was before Say Yes to the Dress, so I don't think they were getting quite as many girls back then going there just so they could say that they went to the place on the show (although I think it was always kind of touristy in that way).
    Posted by uppereastgirl[/QUOTE]

    No it was Roma Bridals. I will not go there due to the fact that they answered the phone as if they were high and mighty. They said this to me without having a clue of what my budget was.
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    edited December 2011
    I found that, being young (24) a lot of the vendors had like no interest in talking to me...  Also, I brought my mom along with me for opinions when picking vendors - and if they talked directly AT her the entire time, I  hated that. I'm the one picking and paying. Not her.
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    edited December 2011
    I went to a bridal show for the sole reason that they were serving free alcohol :)  I didn't use (or even attempt to use) any of the vendors that were there!  I feel it's much better to do your own research and ask other people (whether here or in real life)
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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_dollar-signs-their-eyes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:e3b8ce54-4539-4548-9a3a-6b46fd85ca5aPost:59e40c22-8a67-499e-a114-4a653d40fed0">Re: The dollar signs in their eyes</a>:
    [QUOTE]I found that, being young (24) a lot of the vendors had like no interest in talking to me...  Also, I brought my mom along with me for opinions when picking vendors - and if they talked directly AT her the entire time, I  hated that. I'm the one picking and paying. Not her.
    Posted by ecg129[/QUOTE]

    We visited two venues that only talked to me and never said a word to, or even looked at, FI. Yet another reason why those places were crossed off our list.
    image
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    edited December 2011
    A few venues we visted in the planning stages gave me the same vibe.  They really had no price list anywhere, just asked a bunch of questions, gauged how interested you were after your tour and threw a price out.  A few places would size up the eng. ring too........one place even made a comment on the size.   I would joke with my dw that we should go in with her wearing no ring and tell them we couldn't afford one.....lol.

    I think these places tend to charge as much as they can and as little as they have to in order to make the deal.
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    edited December 2011
    I've never been to a bridal show either. Not for lack of wanting to, but just don't have the time. Honestly, I had no idea that these people were just looking for money, but I guess that makes sense. They probably have to pay a fee to be a part of the show. Anyway, keep looking for vendors - you'll find someone that will work with you. I agree some of the prices are just INSANE, and it can be a longer search sometimes, but  you will find what you're looking for- you just have to have patience and continue to look.
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    acablitasacablitas member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've only been to two bridal shows - once when my friend was about to get married and one when I got engaged.  They're a waste of time, IMO.  I get more information from the Knot and through online referrals, and I feel that these are more worthwhile than going to a show.

    I've had one bad experience at a venue, where he made us write down the information rather than the venue accommodating us and making us feel like they wanted our business.  Even though the venue was beautiful and one of my top choices, we immediately crossed it off the list.

    Sorry to hear you're experiencing this, but it's good to get it off your chest.  Hopefully you'll be able to get some of your vendor referrals here.
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone for the advice. Sorry, I couldn't respond sooner -- I just got home from work.

    I know that the vendors need to turn a profit, and I do not thing I am expecting a lot. I guess I just want them to be willing to work with me. Some of those packages have stuff I don't want and don't really want to pay for it. So, I'd rather put my money where I want to.

    My FI has been pushing to go to these shows, and I appreciate his enthusiasm. We don't know many people who have been married in the area, so it is difficult to do everything word of mouth. Currently, we are searching for reception halls and have basically been going to see the place and get some info without the pressure.

    Update: When my FI called me on his lunch break I vented to him and asked me to call some places when he got home to set up an appointment. Well, he spoke with two people who were very pleasant and willing to meet with us and talk about options. I feel  so much better already

    Thanks again ladies!
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    jchristeljchristel member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_dollar-signs-their-eyes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:e3b8ce54-4539-4548-9a3a-6b46fd85ca5aPost:9deba617-210f-44c6-a0fe-ec34d6a50b02">Re: The dollar signs in their eyes</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: The dollar signs in their eyes : No it was Roma Bridals. I will not go there due to the fact that they answered the phone as if they were high and mighty. They said this to me without having a clue of what my budget was.
    Posted by kathygrzywnowicz[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>They are full of it.  Roma's prices do not start at $2500.  I tried on a $1600 dress there.  

    </div>
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