Adding to the wedding party but not a bridesmaid or groomsman?

dhaemion

Hi all! I just found out my fiances relatives want to be in the wedding party as bridesmaids and a groomsman. Since I don't know them really well and my fiance is not close to them, I was thinking of having the girls be in charge of the guest book and programs and the guy being an usher. I was wondering if anyone had any other ideas of stuff to give them to make them feel a bit more important? They are a bit too old to be a ring bearer or flower girls but I do want them to be involved, just not in the main bridal party. Thanks for all the help!

Leah&Christian09

You don't have to include people just because they want to be included.  If you don't want them to be in the WP, just don't.  Making up some consolation prize isn't going to help.  Guest book attendant is a consolation prize.You could have them as ushers, readers, or singers.  Otherwise, guest is an honor.

mbcdefg

Why are you adding people now? If you weren't close enough to them to ask them to be in the wedding in the first place, then you shouldn't have to do it now that they're asking about it. "NO" is not a bad word. Anyway, asking people to be ushers is fine, but guest book attendant is a crap job. People know how to sign a book without someone standing there and directing them. Program passer-outer is sort of O.K. if it's a younger kid who wants to do it. You could ask people to do a reading, too. Anyone who can walk down an aisle and behave is suited to be a ring bearer or a flower girl. They're only "too old" when they say that they're too old to do it. If they would like these roles then it's fine for kids of any age to have them.But I think a lot of kids can see when they're being given a pity job, so again, don't be afraid to say NO. You don't need to come up with titles and jobs for people just because they suddenly decide that they want to get involved.

trix1223

How old are these relatives? They sound like young children by your description. Frankly, I'd just say no to being "in" the wedding, but let them know that you'll love seeing them at the reception. And if they are the age I think they are, it may very well be their parents who want them in the wedding, and the kids will be just fine knowing they can go. Just because someone asks~you are under NO obligation to include them. Frankly, I find it rude of anyone to ask to be in someone else's wedding.

danieliza1127

You don't have include people just because they want to be included.  If you and your FI aren't close to them, I wouldn't include them in the wedding party.  It's just more hassle for you.

ffmaid

Guestbook is not an honor it is an insult. If neither you nor FI is close to them then the best role is guest.

lilcassers

the point of a wedding party if for your best friends (and that would include siblings/cousins/etc) who you are closest with. not just throwing people in for the sake of it. These people sound out of line. No one should be asking you, that is your job!