Humanist vows?

stardust21587

FI and I are not Christians and have been coming across tons and tons of vows that are too religious for us. We are looking for something to use, or to build off of that is more along the lines of a Humanist ceremony. Any ideas or links that would be good to check out? TIA.

handfast4me

Hmmm.  I'm a Pagan, so I can't help much, but I do know how hard it is to find non-Christian ceremonies.  What we did for our legal ceremony, is to develop a basic outline, then googled a bunch of words plus wedding vows or wedding ceremony, ring exchange, etc.  We took bits and pieces from different ceremonies and incorporated them all together.  It wasn't a true Pagan wedding ceremony (we'd had a handfasting one year prior) but we made sure there was no the mention of one god, and the male aspect of that, and of course no Jesus.   I think the Baha'i Faith is a Humanist one, as I recall, although I could be wrong.  Anyway, that might lead you to a ceremony more fitting of your beliefs.   Supposedly tomorrow there will be changes in the boards, and you may be able to PM me, so I could send you our ceremony.

stardust21587

Ok, cool. The tough thing we're running into is trying to make it non-religious without being SO obvious. Our families are Christian and we're not, so we absolutely want our ceremony to be about US and at the same time, not be offensive to our closest friends and family. I'm pretty sure that we will be able to figure out some vows where people won't even notice there wasn't mention of god/jesus. Anywho, thanks for the advice! Good ideas.

handfast4me

The other thing (sorry, I forgot until now) when we were thinking about having a larger wedding, was to google "Subtle Handfasting" and it was amazing how many other couples have had to hide the fact that they weren't Christian.  You might try the word subtle with your searches.

mbcdefg

http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-ceremony/articles/ethical-humanist-wedding-vows.aspx

phoeny_moonstar

We had a pagan handfasting/ceremony and we were able to incorporate much of our beliefs into it and people didn't really seem to notice. I like handfast4me's idea on googling "subtle handfasting" there is a lot of great subtle ceremonies out there that might fit into the idea you are looking for.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Do you have an officiant yet? You might want to look at a Unitarian Universalist minister or officiant, or contact a UU Church in your area about helping with some vows. They're really good about it. I believe their ceremonies will often not include the word God, and can be spiritual if you want. Or not.

You also might want to contact a JOP and see what sort of "legal" non-religious vows are available. Or google "non-religious vows" or "non-denominational vows".

jamieguild

http://chapelnewyork.blogspot.com/

Look on sidebar for "wedding vows"

gretchen333

I'm in the same boat as you, but haven't really started looking yet. We are having a destination wedding so I'm not even sure how I'm going to find an officiant. I've heard so many stories of a judge that says they will respect the couple's wish for a secular ceremony and then leading the group in prayer. I would be furious!

My aunt is a methodist minister and she says she has done many secular ceremonies. She wants to do it, but I'm afraid of causing a family riff if she doesn't stick to her word and not mention religion. Seems like we'd be better off finding someone else....

the only humanist officiant I have found thus far in the area charges $350 plus travel fees. That's way beyond our budget!