Issues picking a ceremony site

Maureen679

My fiance and I have different views. I would like to have a church ceremony and have pictures taken there. He would like to have it at the recepion site. I just don't like the idea of guest having to see the ceremony site being taken down while they are trying to enjoy cocktail hour. Also a church ceremony has the pre-set vows which make me very comfortable and he would like to recite our own vows. Any suggestions on how to make us both happy?

duckie1905

I can't say that either of you is going to be 100% happy with any compromise you make.  I would sit down and discuss non-negotiables with each other.  What are his reasons for not wanting a church ceremony.  What are you reasons for not wanting a religious-based ceremony at the reception (leaving out the issues with ceremony takedown because that really is not the point).  Will you absolutely not recite your own vows?  Will he never set foot in a church?

I will say that I have been at many a wedding in which the ceremony took place at the reception site.  Your guests will not care if they have to look at 10 minutes of takedown while they are mingling.  I would expect that your reception site would be fairly used to the routine and could proabably either accomodate you in another area or have it taken down fairly quickly with little disturbance.

One or both of you has to be willing to give in order to reach a decision.  You both will have non-negotiables.  The trick is figure out what they are an work with them to compromise.

mbcdefg

I wrote you a reply this morning but the Knot ate it in the big change.

The most important factor about marrying in a church should be your spirituality and closeness to God, not how much it costs or how it looks or how the breakdown process goes. If you feel close to God in the church, then you should marry there. If not, then marry at the reception location or another secular location.

For what it's worth, it's costing us less for our church ceremony than if we were to marry at our reception hall. But we wanted to marry in my church no matter what the cost was.

lilcassers

You can say your own vows at a church. You can also take pics at the church and at the reception site. Hell, you can take pics anywhere you want! My friend and her husband stopped at the place where he proposed and they took pics there right before the reception.

duckie1905

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_issues-picking-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:10499208Post:1fc09e99-9f0f-4f12-a476-4c981d30d3ec">Re: Issues picking a ceremony site</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>You can say your own vows at a church</strong>. You can also take pics at the church and at the reception site. Hell, you can take pics anywhere you want! My friend and her husband stopped at the place where he proposed and they took pics there right before the reception.
Posted by lilcassers[/QUOTE]

Actually, this isn't true.  Some churches and maybe even religions do not allow you to say your own vows during the ceremony.  We were not (we wouldn't have anyway) and only had the option of the vows the church provided.