Disagreement w/ FI need ur opinions :)

gymchick05

So my FI has a very sweet friend who was so nice to lend us some stuff from her wedding two years ago. One of which was her card box. Now, you can tell the cardbox was very nice when it was new, but the problem is it has been smooshed. I have tried everything to fix it and make it look new, but there really isnt much hope for it.

I have worked my a*s off trying to make everything super nice for our wedding and killed myself w/ DIY projects so everything is just how we want it. Im upset cause if we use the cardbox, its gonna look broken (cause it is) and I just feel like since everything else is so nice, I want the cardbox to be as well. My FI refuses to change it cause he feels his friend will be sad if we dont use it. We are using other things she lent to us, and I so appreciate her giving us this, but the top falls off, its kinda bent, and the bottom is missing.

We are 15 days out so I need to buy one ASAP- what can I say to convince him (its a pretty stupid argument, but I dont want to hurt anyones feelings over a box). Thanks!

smw42

Go to Michael's and get one there with the 40% off coupon (which is what I did) and tell him someone from the knot lent it to you!

gymchick05

I tried telling him I can get one from free- its not the cost- he just feels we MUST use it cause she lent it to us and Im pretty sure if she new the top falls off and I cant fix it, she wouldnt expect us to use it  arrrr men- I liked it better when he had no opinion on wedding planning haha

cutiepie12702

Tell him that it's broken and won't look nice compared to everything else - and she isn't going to mind because you are using other items she let you borrow. She may not even notice you didn't use it - and if it's broken I'm sure she'd understand why you went with another one. If he feels that bad he can make up some sort of story saying your venue actually had this card box so you just used the one they provided instead.

jcg98

Can you use any part of it for a new box? Does it have bows or decorations or anything that you could attach to something else?

cindyn9178

I agree with PPs.. just use/buy one. If she asks, explain it to her. If FI feels bad, then he can tell her what he wants.. but I wouldn't use something broken/that I didn't like, just because someone gave it to me.

Pharo47

I'm a sensitive guy but if it's clearly broken, I don't understand why he would want to use it especially when you are already using things from that person. You should ask him, if this wasn't from your friend, would you want this at your wedding? If he honestly says yes, then you may have to pick your battle on this one (just like we do for you). Then think of ways to doll it up. However, if he says no, then you should make him talk to the girl and express that he would love to use it but it's just not in good shape anymore. When me and my fiance were looking at places, I was really trying to stick with a certain price. We saw a place that we didn't love but it was right in our budget so I was trying to sway her a little bit. She turned to me and said, do you really want to get married here? I honestly could not lie to her and said no. Sometimes a direct question like that lets someone think about the situation better.

gymchick05

Thank you all- Ill try to rationalize w/ him again this weekend. I mean, its pretty silly cause the amount of money Ive spend on things like ribbons, bows, flowers, etc trying to attach them to this thing to make it took better and tie it back together, I could have gotten a brand new fancy one. Like I said, it isnt bad looking, but since the top falls off and the bottom is missing- the cards are gonna fall out anyway.  My FI is very stubborn (I am too) so if he has it in his head that he's gonna use this, its hard to get him to change his mind. So when we lose all the wedding cards, its on him haha

meagan1231

Can you call his friend?  Explain to her that "to your dismay" when you were gathering all of your wedding things "something" happened to the card box. Tell her how sorry you are and what a bummer it is because you liked it so much like the other items you'll still be utilizing.  We're only human and sometimes accidents happen, she's sure to understand, and once she gives you her blessing to replace it (I'm sure she will) then your future hubby will follow suit. 

alykat216

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_disagreement-w-fi-need-ur-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:ff338ca2-0148-4d94-ab5f-42b850348fa7Post:45c9f150-5288-46e8-ba3e-cb92476e2ee9">Re: Disagreement w/ FI need ur opinions :)</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you all- Ill try to rationalize w/ him again this weekend. I mean, its pretty silly cause the amount of money Ive spend on things like ribbons, bows, flowers, etc trying to attach them to this thing to make it took better and tie it back together, I could have gotten a brand new fancy one. Like I said, it isnt bad looking, but since the top falls off and the bottom is missing- the cards are gonna fall out anyway.  My FI is very stubborn (I am too) so if he has it in his head that he's gonna use this, its hard to get him to change his mind. <strong>So when we lose all the wedding cards, its on him haha
</strong>Posted by gymchick05[/QUOTE]

Thats what I was going to say, to express to him that since it is broken that you could lose cards.  My FI is stubborn as well but if I told him we could lose cards he might think twice about it.  Good luck!

goaliegirl

I agree with the others that you should explain to him that it is broken.   But, on the other hand, if he is really set on having it, how much other stuff has he really wanted.  In all honesty, I don't think I have ever paid attention to what the card box looks like, so are that many people going to really pay attention.   Majority of people at our wedding handed the cards to me or my husband when they were leaving and never even saw the card box.     The reality is, we all spend so much time on all these small details and majority of people at the wedding don't even notice them.  So, you may just have to pick you battle on this one if you can't get him to change his mind, it isn't worth arguing over a card box.

jchristel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_disagreement-w-fi-need-ur-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:ff338ca2-0148-4d94-ab5f-42b850348fa7Post:27261d43-c494-4270-aec4-317ade22de26">Re: Disagreement w/ FI need ur opinions :)</a>:
[QUOTE]Can you call his friend?  Explain to her that "to your dismay" when you were gathering all of your wedding things "something" happened to the card box. Tell her how sorry you are and what a bummer it is because you liked it so much like the other items you'll still be utilizing.  We're only human and sometimes accidents happen, she's sure to understand, and once she gives you her blessing to replace it (I'm sure she will) then your future hubby will follow suit. 
Posted by meagan1231[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree with this.  No bride would want another bride to use a banged up crappy looking card box.</div>

TLuvT

I think your FI worries way too much about little things.
I don't think his friend would even care if you don't use the cardbox. I would tell your FI you want to use a new one and that is what you want to do. I highly doubt his friend would be sad if they don't see  that use have a new one.