Nevada-Las Vegas
Options

Presents for my wedding party

I think I've asked this board this before, but thought I'd throw this out again. I'm still stuck.

I'm not sure what the expectation is on cost of gifts for the wedding party. Is there an approximate amount folks are spending?

I'm going to get them each the same thing and I'm a little stuck on that. Shopping for each of them would be a task beyond what my schedule would allow. What is everyone going with?

Re: Presents for my wedding party

  • Options
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_presents-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:029e350b-383b-4b0e-8915-df90dcbf9416Post:803af695-c787-4127-85f2-d83aa6471532">Presents for my wedding party</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think I've asked this board this before, but thought I'd throw this out again. I'm still stuck. I'm not sure what the expectation is on cost of gifts for the wedding party. Is there an approximate amount folks are spending? I'm going to get them each the same thing and I'm a little stuck on that. <strong>Shopping for each of them would be a task beyond what my schedule would allow</strong>. What is everyone going with?
    Posted by guamibear[/QUOTE]
    everytime i see this, it bothers me.  how on earth are you too busy to buy someone a gift they might actually enjoy?  it seems very rude to me.  you want them to come to Vegas, and more than likely buy you something they think (or know, if you register) you want...but you can't put any effort into going shopping for them individually?

    as for price - like anything, its what you can afford. 
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    I haven't figured this one out, I think the ladies will get a little bag pf goodies from B&BW and I don't know about the groomsmen. A good rule of thumb is to shop for your wedding party like you would shop for them on their birthday.  It doesn't all have to match, just something thoughtful you know they'd like.  Don't try to spend "a certain amount" just whatever you can afford.

    GL :)
    Anniversary
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    @Amanda - I am sure you would understand that between all of the wedding planning most of us still had, work, school, etc... and normal life, So YES at times these little details can become overwhelming. Just something to think about....

    Guami - I agree with Ebony shop like it is their B-Day. If you feel that you don't have a lot of time to individualize it....How about a gift certificate? or Massages while in Vegas, etc.... These are things that you can personalize without a lot of hassle. GL :)


    image
    2011-2012 Races
    10/29/11 LA RockNRoll Min Half (5K) 42:58
    12/4/11 Vegas RockNRoll Half 3:14:53
    1/7/12 WDW Half 3:13:42
    1/15/12 RnR AZ 2:55:27 (PR!!)
    1/29/12 Tinkerbell 1/2 3:22:37 (To many picture stops!lol)
    Me:32 DH:33
    IFV w/ DE Only Option (On Hold For Now)
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    I spent about $40-$50 on each of my bridesmaids.  I acted like I was shopping for their birthday or christmas.

    I got each girl two pieces of jewlery.  Not jewlery to wear at the wedding, just two different pieces that I thought went with their style of clothing.  I went to New York and Company for it because they typically have really good discounts on their jewlery. I also got each girl a purple satin clutch and a picture frame and paid for each girl to get their hair done.

    Try online shopping! It's easy and hassle free, and I can typically find good coupon codes online for most retailers.
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    I paid $100 of my MOH's dress + bought her a bouquet charm w/ her grandmother's (someone we were both very close to) picture.

    I'll tell you what I hate as a bridemaid, a blanket gift that everyone gets. I HATE getting the same matching jewelry that everyone is expected to wear.

    You could pay for mani/pedis or spa day while in Vegas or to get their hair and make up done.

    I agree w/ O- shop like it is their bday or pay for stuff while in Vegas.
    image
  • Options
    guamibearguamibear member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Amandajean, I think what bothers me is the rude assumption that because I'd like to get something the same for everyone that it automatically equals lame and impersonal. I just didn't want anyone to feel like they didn't get them an equal gift or something. And YES, I AM THAT BUSY. I came here for advice, not a lecture. I'm happy to take advice, but I find it rude to jump on someone you don't know because I have a very hectic schedule. 

    I myself have received very thoughtful gifts that were the same as the other bridesmaids in the wedding and didn't feel like it was blanket gift. Overgeneralizing other people is quite rude as well.

    That being said, thanks everyone for their advice. I'm not as well versed in the etiquette with these events so I appreciate the help. I'm nervous about making it special for everyone involved and just wanted to see how other ladies are handling it.
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    If you've got enough free time to read and reply on this website, you've got enough time to shop for your bridesmaids on Amazon.  You're not even getting married for another five months; are you seriously saying that you do not have an hour's worth of time to shop for what are supposed to be a few of the most important people in your life on Amazon between now and the end of next February?

    Sounds like you were really just looking for affirmation that your busy schedule makes it ok to buy the same gift for everyone.  If you want to do that, go ahead and do that, you're still getting them a gift, just won't be as nice as if you had actually put some time into it the way they're giving you their time for your wedding day.

    Married in Vegas - June 2011


  • Options
    GribblesGribbles member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree it seems a bit crazy that you haven't got time in the next 5 months to buy personal gifts to thank your wedding party for attending your wedding and helping you out.

    However, here are some of the ideas I have been tossing up:

    - Swarovski necklace (you can get really cute plain-coloured crystal hearts on leather thong)
    - Thankyou bath/shower gel set by Philosophy
    - These robes are so cute for getting ready in the morning!http://www.etsy.com/shop/plumprettysugar
    - Massage/spa vouchers
    - Tickets to a show in Vegas
    - Wedding Chicks have a cute range of personalised tote bags / t-shirts
    www.mywedding.com/benandpetra
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    I am paying for my bridesmaids to get their hair and makeup done by glamsquad as well as bought them juicy sweats.  Yes, its matchy and cliche, but something they would all wear to lounge in anyway and will provide for some cute photo ops. 
    They also all travelled for my shower, so I bought them a cute little travel lingerie bag and a luggage tag. 

    I get where people are coming from about getting your bridemaids all the same gift, that it could come off impersonal.  But, I just really don't agree.  I think as long as your ladies know you put some thought and effort into it, its all good.  I don't think how much you spend is all that important, just spend what you're comfortable with.  But, a nice heartfealt message with the gift if a must!
  • Options
    edited December 2011

    we are paying for our bridal partys hotel rooms, flights, and limo transportation to and from vegas & chicago, along with paying for BMs to have their hair done. So thats kind of their gift.  A friend of mine ordered these cute tote bags from LTD and I plan on loading them up with random stuff for each girl. I guess Im doing a blanket gift but also personal because each one will be different but with some of them same things. I found some cute pocket mirrors on etsy and having each one a different style that fits each girl. Ive just been searching on etsy and theknot.com. Since we will be paying for the BMs hair, we are paying to the suit rental for the GMs to even it out. I found some cuff links on etsy that I think we will use as the GMs gifts. Im going to get FI, dad, & FFIL sets too...but have each one be something they like....FI & dad-harley ones, FFIL-colts/sox ones...and such.

  • Options
    guamibearguamibear member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I appreciate the answers to my questions. It was helpful and gives me more ideas than I what I started with. I've been looking in stores and online and had been unsatisfied with what I've been looking at. So I thank you for the help.

    To address the folks with the crappy remarks about the amount of "time" I have...Wow, all I can say is thanks for the judgement! I'm a bit put off by that. I haven't done that myself on here and it makes me less willing to come on here again. It was enlightening to get slammed with that, considering I was simply asking for help. I have no issue with putting in thought in the gifts I'm giving. If I came off as unthoughtful, that simply isn't the case. I am generally stretched for time with my work schedule. I'm also shopping for very different ladies that I find it difficult to shop for in the first place no matter the occasion.
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    To be honest....I am very disappointed that some of you felt the need to get judgmental when all someone asked was what she should do. She did not say that she did not WANT to do it. She was looking at what options are out there since she had limited time and wanted to get ideas. I completely have been in those shoes with planning, and as a someone who worked, goes to school and takes care of the majority of the household responsibilities..... some times you just have no more time to give. But I guess that makes me bad, because I went a head and just paid for my BFF's, SIL and Mom to get their Hair&Make up done because....I had no more energy to get one more wedding related thing done.

    image
    2011-2012 Races
    10/29/11 LA RockNRoll Min Half (5K) 42:58
    12/4/11 Vegas RockNRoll Half 3:14:53
    1/7/12 WDW Half 3:13:42
    1/15/12 RnR AZ 2:55:27 (PR!!)
    1/29/12 Tinkerbell 1/2 3:22:37 (To many picture stops!lol)
    Me:32 DH:33
    IFV w/ DE Only Option (On Hold For Now)
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    I'd hardly consider the response you got being "slammed", a few of us evidently just find it hard to understand why you can't spare a few hours to shop for a few of your best friends over the next five months.  My groomsmen are the most important people in my life besides my FI, I plan to spend a few days trying to come up with the perfect gifts for all of them, and believe me, my schdule is easily busier than most thanks to my business and having to work 12 to 14 hours most days.

    Married in Vegas - June 2011


  • Options
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_presents-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:029e350b-383b-4b0e-8915-df90dcbf9416Post:0458d96b-eec7-46d0-b3bd-0a5ec6b24ff0">Re: Presents for my wedding party</a>:
    [QUOTE]To be honest....I am very disappointed that some of you felt the need to get judgmental when all someone asked was what she should do.
    Posted by stinkerbell6879[/QUOTE]

    Who said anything about judging?  I simply made a logical question based on the information at hand; she has five months, she says she does not have time to shop for them which implies she wants to shop for them individually, I questioned why there is not enough time to allocate over five months to that task?

    I also pointed out that a personalized gift would be nicer than everyone getting the same gift, which I wholeheartedly feel to be true.  If someone close to you gave you and a bunch of other people the same thing, you'd think "hey, that's a really nice gift, thank you", but if you got something that you know is something only you'd like or really fits what you'd like, you'd think "wow, she must have spent some time coming up with this, that's great."  So my opinion on the issue remains the same; personalized gifts feel nicer to the recipient than ones that everyone else got and if time allows, personalized gifts are better.

    Married in Vegas - June 2011


  • Options
    edited December 2011
    Vegas....I agree that personalized is better! But sometimes it's hard to pin down that perfect idea because for one...A picky person and/or two budget. For example I know that my DH loves electronics, but I am not tech savvy so I usually have a hard time with his gifts. So I guess my thing is that I understand and also....There are points in planning where you are just DONE and it seems hard to care about the little details.


    ETA: I am not trying to say the gifts are not important, just a difficult and time consuming process.
    image
    2011-2012 Races
    10/29/11 LA RockNRoll Min Half (5K) 42:58
    12/4/11 Vegas RockNRoll Half 3:14:53
    1/7/12 WDW Half 3:13:42
    1/15/12 RnR AZ 2:55:27 (PR!!)
    1/29/12 Tinkerbell 1/2 3:22:37 (To many picture stops!lol)
    Me:32 DH:33
    IFV w/ DE Only Option (On Hold For Now)
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    That's why I'm here; I can help with electronics, car, garage and home depot recommedations for the guy gifts lol.

    Married in Vegas - June 2011


  • Options
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_presents-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:029e350b-383b-4b0e-8915-df90dcbf9416Post:9f27691d-aaf5-4e04-b6f9-82db585885b5">Re: Presents for my wedding party</a>:
    [QUOTE]That's why I'm here; I can help with electronics, car, garage and home depot recommedations for the guy gifts lol.
    Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]
    LOL!! 
    image
    2011-2012 Races
    10/29/11 LA RockNRoll Min Half (5K) 42:58
    12/4/11 Vegas RockNRoll Half 3:14:53
    1/7/12 WDW Half 3:13:42
    1/15/12 RnR AZ 2:55:27 (PR!!)
    1/29/12 Tinkerbell 1/2 3:22:37 (To many picture stops!lol)
    Me:32 DH:33
    IFV w/ DE Only Option (On Hold For Now)
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    I think guami has good intentions and through her responses has shown she has difficulty shopping for those in her party for regular occasions and wanted ideas for a gift that while similar in nature for all individuals can be personalized to the them, let's just take the whole time argument out of the equation.  Sometimes all it takes is hearing an idea from someone else to trigger inspiration for yourself.

    Like ebony said, budget is completely personal and what you can afford. There is no specific amount you should be spending on attendant gifts.  My best advice when considering a gift is to think about things that remind you of them or experiences that you've shared with them that are special to you. 

    For instance, I gave each of my girls a charm bracelet.  Each one had their initial, a dice for the wedding in Vegas, and then a charm specific to an event or thing that reminds me of them.  I then gave them each a smaller gift that was specific to them and paid for make-up and hair.  For our groomsmen, all of whom are football fans, we got them cuff links with their favorite college team and shaves the day of the wedding.
  • Options
    aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I actually did get all of my attendants the same gift, a leatherbound copy of Grimm's Fairy Tales.  I spent quite a while coming up with a decent gift that I knew all of them would like (though I fully intended to get them something separate).  DH got all of his attendants different things, because they didn't have any shared interests like mine did.

    I appreciate the gift more when it shows that some thought has been put into it.  I got a tote that said "bridesmaid" with a bunch of lotions and stuff in it for my sister's wedding, it went more or less straight into the trash.  Something like that doesn't so much say "I'm so thankful to have you in my life and in my wedding" as "I really needed to check buying gifts for you guys off my list, so I got you some random crap."

    As far as cost, I think it should be in line with both your overall wedding budget (a $20 gift card for a black tie wedding is kind of cold) and with how much they're spending.  I got the books on eBay for $25-35 each, but they retail for upwards of $80.  I also paid for the girls to get their hair done, but I never considered that a gift, since it wasn't for them, it was for me and my pictures.

    This is the sort of thing I would make time for, honestly.  It's not like you have to set aside an entire day to shop; browse Google on your lunch breaks, shoot a text to your MOH's boyfriend for ideas, snoop through their Amazon wish lists while you're checking your email, brainstorm while you're sitting in traffic.  I understand if, say, you didn't have time to handcraft something for each of them, but shopping doesn't have to be a time-intensive experience and I think that's kind of a cop-out.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    It's getting snarky in here! lol  I love those juicy coutoure sweats they are mondo comfy.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    stacymichstacymich member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Wow! This is terrible to read! This is a happy yet stressful time for some, lets try not to make it worse.

  • Options
    edited December 2011
    for the record - i didn't think i "slammed" anyone.  if you guys disagree, that's fine...but i think you're being oversensitive.

    my point was exactly what Vegas stated...saying 'shopping for each of them would be a task beyond what my schedule would allow', IMO, implies that you want to buy them spearate gifts, but you can't seem to find the time.  with a wedding 5 months out, i think there is plenty of time.  it leads me to believe that if it was someone's birthday between now and your wedding you wouldn't have time to go shopping to buy them something...

    i get that wedding planning is difficult.  people have alot going on in their lives.  but if these people were important enough to ask to be in your wedding, i think some thought/time/effort needs to go into their gifts.

    i will also say --- if you think everyone will like the same gift, that's fine.  i don't see anything wrong with buying everyone the same gift, as long as you really believe they'll all like it.  but i don't think its ok to get all the girls the same gift because its easier than shopping for them separately. 
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    hmmm -wel since I only have a MOH, my "official" job is a little easier...but since I have 5 great GFs who are helping out in various ways, I've decided to get each of them a mani/pedi Gift Certificate & a personalized tote bag.  And 'cause I'm so freaking paranoid about security, I'm not having their names embrodered, but instead "descriptives"  i.e. "Gorgeous" "Divine" "Beautiful" etc.  Same gift - but personalized to each of them. Although I was thinking about some bracelets from Things Remembered...

    BTW - I'm getting my MOH's dress, hotel, hair, makeup and some jewelry.  (That's my girl & I could never do enough for her!)

    So Guamibear - don't worry, you have plenty of time to find the perfect gifts!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    Awkwaaaaaard.....getting pretty el weirdo on here.....

    I had 6 bridesmaids and 2 readers to shop for. I wanted to give everyone the same gift. I didn't want one to seem " better" than the next. I got all 6 bridesmaids a coach wristlet and the 2 readers a coach change purse. What I did personailze is the color. Gave each one their favorite color. They loved it and thought it was so thoughtful that I picked their favorite color. you just need to show some thought went into it. : )
  • Options
    guamibearguamibear member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies, I like the idea of a similar item, but tailoring to each lady. I have been tossing around of different lockets (that have a vintage feel) or clutches, or organic Vegas canvas bags on found on Etsy with different items inside.  Thanks again to the folks that took the time to offer helpful advice.
  • Options
    direy25direy25 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I was actually just perusing the Knot's wedding shop and saw some "jewelry rolls," (fabric travel cases for jewelry).  I don't like those specific ones but found some great ones on Amazon, I'm thinking that might be one of the generic gifts I give to everyone and then give them each something personal as well...
    Married 5.6.11

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

                              image                          

                                                             
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards