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Nevada-Las Vegas

In-laws' wedding outfits

Did you guys communicate with your in-laws on what they should wear? If you did, how did you do it? I'm not close to my future in-laws and my fiance is not close to his parents either. He keeps telling me just to leave his parents alone and let them wear whatever they decide, but I'm worried that they'll look under dressed compared to my parents. Am I being too controlling if I ask them or give suggestions on what to wear?

Re: In-laws' wedding outfits

  • edited December 2011
    Honestly, I don't think you should tell adults what to wear, especially if your FI is saying the same thing.  They are his parents and he knows them best, whether he is close with them or not.  DH is not close to his Dad and wasn't sure how he would end up dressing since he didn't own a suit.  We never told him he needed to wear a suit but he did end up wearing one and his step-mother had a very nice dress.  We shared with them some pictures of our venues and I asked his step-mother if she would like a wrist corsage or a pin-on corsage.  That may be a subtle way for you to give them to get a feel for how formal the event will be.  Others may disagree, but I don't agree with telling people how to dress. 
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  • edited December 2011
    I think the only thing you can comfortably do is maybe drop hints on how others are dressing... I know my mom's boyfriend is a casual guy, and while I'd prefer him to wear a suit, I'm in no way expecting that. But he knows my mom is getting a nice dress, and my dad is wearing a tux, so, I think that will at least give him the hint that he should wear something "nice". Overall, you should do whatever you think is best. But it could end up being awkward if you outright tell someone what to wear. I personally think hints are the best way to go in this situation, unless they personally ask you what to wear.
  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
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    edited December 2011
    Adults should know how to dress for a wedding.  The corsage question is a good one to open the door for attire; I mentioned it to my MIL, and it segued naturally into what she was planning to wear.  We are indicating on the FAQ section of our website that the wedding is formal (and that all other events are casual) as kind of a general heads-up.
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  • edited December 2011
    I wouldn't know what to say.....my FMIL is a psycho "you-know-what" and is refusing to support FI and I in our decision to wed in Vegas....hmm :)  No really, but I agree with pp, I would just mention what everyone else will be wearing, but dont specifically say.  GL!
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  • edited December 2011
    ITA w/ Auguri.    Not your place to tell guests/adults how to dress. Your invitations should set the tone for the wedding.  From what I can tell, your wording (if using the ones in your bio) is pretty formal so they should get it. If not, oh well... it's not a reflection on you.
  • edited December 2011
    I'm not planning on saying anything to my in-laws about what to wear. If they want to coordinate I'm sure they will ask =). However, I'm the kind of bride that wouldn't care if someone showed up in flip flops and shorts anyway, lol. I doubt anyone would tho...
  • edited December 2011
    I have not and will not say anything to my in-laws. I am not that close to them and its not a reflection of me or my family on how they dress. They know their two sons are in tuxes, so you would think it would give a hint, but I heard them a while back ask my DH if they could wear shorts...argh. BUT yesterday - father in law asked for a tie to match the wedding party - so maybe they do come around when it is time to really think about what to wear! I still haven't mentioned they will both have flowers...probably should - that will help to let them know they are having a part of it.
  • Ray_RayRay_Ray member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ugh, my FBILs girlfriend has been trying to tell my FMIL what to wear and it's really starting to piss me off! First of all she told her that I wanted everyone in black. Then she said I don't want ANYONE in black. So now my FMIL is confused- all because this silly girl likes to pretend that she's part of conversations that never happen. Honestly- she makes stuff up all the time!But back to you- I wouldn't feel comfortable telling someone what to wear, but if they ask, give them a general direction/tone that other guests are taking. However, it's most important for them to be wearing outfits in which they are comfortable
  • mloeksmloeks member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree that the invite is the key...you could note semiformal or formal attire on the invite or the Web site.I realized I should have done this. I am afraid my brother's will show up in jeans. And one of my brothers always looks like a hick anyhow. *sigh*Hopefully, because I know my mom bought a semiformal/formal dress and my dad is in a tux, she will drop the boys a hint. I'm not worried about anyone else. Oddly, we will end up with more girls than boys at the wedding. lol.
  • edited December 2011
    ours actually asked us what to wear and we told them what others were wearing.  i didn't really tell them they had to wear what others were wearing, but they decided to go with the pack.  i'm not all that close with them so i didn't really bring up the issue.  they came to me instead. i'd just tell them what kind of an affair you're having...semi-formal, etc.  that at least gives them an idea of what they can expect to wear.
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone for the advice! You guys are right, if they ask me I'll give suggestions but if they don't, I won't stress about it and just let them wear what they want. I guess it's the bridezilla in me coming out, wanting to control every single detail.
  • edited December 2011
    i did not. and it turns out that they are wearing the same colour that I am. I have a champagne colour dress. I am pissed. So I would definately have the conversation. My pictures are going to look like "Can you find the bride?:
  • edited December 2011
    lol, sorry but I call b.s. on the "where's the bride"..... uh, you're the one with the ring, veil, husband, huge smile and a bouquet in the centre of the picture.   Even if you're not, the bride is not hard to pick out from pictures.
  • edited December 2011
    I was a bit worried about my MIL and what she would wear so I mentioned to her that we had arranged for flowers for her and my Mum to hold when they entered and that kinds opened up the conversation.On the day she turned up in a denim jacket!  I didnt actually see this but apparently one of the guests suggested she didnt need it as the ceremony was inside and didn't return it to her until the next day!! hahahaI know why you are worried but I am sure they are excited about your FI day and will get all glammed up for it!
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