Nevada-Las Vegas
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Guest List

I was wondering if anyone had a similar issue to ours. Basically, we decided to get married in Las Vegas because my parents live there and they are paying for it. They want a little bigger wedding, though, where as my fiancee and I really just want close friends and family. My dad now wants to invite a lot of his friends (around 16) and we have never met them before. We think it would be fine for him to just invite a couple but he says he would need to invite all of them. As he is finding out that some distant cousins and other relatives are not able to make it, he thinks there is now room for them. We would rather just have a smaller wedding. My dad is also very stubborn. How do we tactfully deal with this? Thanks! 

Re: Guest List

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    If they are paying for it I think they get a good say in the guest list.
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    I understand wanting a small wedding but honestly if my dad was going to be paying, he could invite whomever he wants. Maybe sit him and down and tell him you are not comfortable with having a bunch of strangers share such a special day with you? That would be my approach.
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    We were in a similar situation, as well. FI and I wanted a smaller wedding (like 40-50), but since my parents are paying for most of the wedding, they got to invite a ton of their friends (although I do know most of them). So now our wedding guest count is 82... so twice what we wanted, but OH WELL...

    So, IMO, if they are paying you should let them invite their friends.
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    Ditto PP's - if you were paying, you would absolutely have the final say in the guest list, but since they're hosting, they can invite who they want.
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    Yeah, that's a tough situation.  But since they are paying, then yeah, they should get at least some say in it.  I'm having an opposite situation.  FMIL isn't offering up a dime for the wedding, but she's outraged that we aren't inviting 3 of her siblings who I've never met (in the 3+ years I've been with FI) and have no involvement/interest in FI's life.  She's mad that we want the wedding we want, not the wedding she wants.  When we rationally explain the costs involved (I'm paying for wedding, my parents are paying for reception), she just blows that off as irrelevent.  We're planning on having a post-reception back in L.A. about a month after the wedding, and we told her she can invite whomever she wants to that, but it's not good enough.  It's the first time I've ever had any sort of problem with her, and it's been incredibly stressful, so I completely understand what you're going through.  I would follow csarah718's advice and just sit him down and explain why you don't want a bunch of strangers at your wedding.  Perhaps he just needs to hear it in those terms. 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_guest-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:122b3071-f77c-4e97-9459-1121481ed229Post:5d528464-ebab-4621-b56b-e25e19ae9dc7">Guest List</a>:
    [QUOTE]How do we tactfully deal with this? Thanks! 
    Posted by BA11[/QUOTE]

    Tell him you'll take care of everything yourself but you do appreciate his offer to pay for it.

    Married in Vegas - June 2011


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    Thanks everyone for your feedback. I'm very grateful for my parents' contribution and it's true, we have to give up some decision-making ability because of it. I guess I had to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. I think, in general, the guest list is the most difficult part about planning a wedding.
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    I disagree with  a lot of the pp but perhaps that because I have no idea what its like to have  parent offer to pay for the wedding :). Its not like you are debating venues or family traditions. Its a guest list. Yes they are paying, however, it is your special day and should be shared with people that mean something to you. Perhapps you could tell them that. Perhaps say, I appreciate everything you are doing but this day is to celebrate with those closest to me and I would not feel very comfortble have too many guests that I have never met.
    I guess you hve to be kind but peristent and ask him why it is so important for him to have his friends at your wedding.
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