guest list rant

magic34k

Well I apologize for the long rant in advance!

My FI and I are planning and paying for our own wedding. Vegas November 2011. My FI family is from Hawaii. Our guest list is limited to 50 people for several reasons:
   reception is in the Vista suite- can't really have more due to capacity
   Chapel can only hold 70 max
   Funds limit guest list to 50

I have used FI sister for the save the date cards. So now we are narrowing down the guest list. I hear through my fiance, his mom is going to have his sister print out more of the Save the date cards and hand them out to the "whole island" is the wording  he used.

Granted these are not the formal invites, and I obviously need to communicate with his mother myself, but i am going crazy.

So i go on to explain to my FI that it is a wedding, numbers count and people cant just show up uninvited. He thinks that if 100 people show up we can move the ceremony outside, and then find a venue the night of our reception to accomodate the extra people. Obviously he is off his rocker.

vegasgroom

LOL just move it outside of an extra 20 or 30 show up, no problem.

wiwicaty

Ha, that's so funny

I suggest you take complete control over your wedding items such as STD and invites before your families put you in an embarrassing situation. You're paying for your wedding so you don't need to share the details. You also might want to opt for non-family members vendors. Don't know if it might help you but we're going to have a live webcast of the ceremony so we sent out announcements with the details to our far flung family members who will not be receiving an invitation. Maybe you can do the same and control some of the damage this way.

vfriday

OMG!  I think my heart stopped briefly when I read your post.  RUN to the phone and call FMIL immediately to explain that she cannot allow any of this to happen.  Have they lost their minds?

direy25

Wow.  Yeah, you definitely need to talk to FMIL - and your FI really thinks it would be that easy to just move everything outside and find a different venue?

Also, just remember that STD does = invitation. 

Maybe suggest to FMIL to do a wedding announcement for "the whole island." 

aerinpegadrak

I think you also need to talk to FSIL (or better yet, have FI talk to her) and make sure that she knows that under no circumstances is her mother allowed to add people to the guest list.  These may not be the formal invites, but anyone who gets an STD must also get an invitation, so you need to put a stop to this now.

ETA: I just saw that your FI doesn't think that this is a problem.  Major red flag.  You need to get him on the same page before you can start to deal with his family.  Perhaps if you show him the per-person breakdown and make him understand how much all these extra people will cost, he'll come around.

aegrish

<strong>In</strong> Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_guest-list-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:456571aa-62af-4e76-ac68-d776cf9b661aPost:7dec7c44-4d17-4bde-8967-822dce2ddf46">Re: guest list rant</a>:
[QUOTE]OMG!  I think my heart stopped briefly when I read your post.  RUN to the phone and call FMIL immediately to explain that she cannot allow any of this to happen.  Have they lost their minds?
Posted by vfriday[/QUOTE]

haha yes agree!  Be proactive.  Don't wait until it's too late.  Seriously copying STD cards?  if that may be a problem I'm not sure I'd even send them...I'd contact people directly and let them know about the wedding.  Even if you have to make a couple dozen calls split them up with your FI and it may be worth it.