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guest who say

I'm bringing my sister, mother, friend or boyfriend with me to your wedding. How do I tell them that my budget won't allow you to bring other guest. The invitation is for you and only you. I am inviting some couples, but these guest are single people who say they are bringing all these other people. They can come to the wedding but not the reception. Should I include a note in the invitation that this invitation admits one person to reception? Is this tacky or not? Like a movies ticket"Admit One" 

Re: guest who say

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    direy25direy25 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_guest-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:4668a961-0bc4-4c8d-8c6e-ae57f016def3Post:d470743c-3ec3-46c0-ae59-12701ae4b8f1">guest who say</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm bringing my sister, mother, friend or <strong>boyfriend</strong> with me to your wedding. How do I tell them that my budget won't allow you to bring other guest. The invitation is for you and only you. I am inviting some couples, but <strong>these guest are single people who say they are bringing all these other people.</strong> They can come to the wedding but not the reception. Should I include a note in the invitation that this invitation admits one person to reception? Is this tacky or not? Like a movies ticket"Admit One" 
    Posted by Venetian10[/QUOTE]
    Guests should be allowed to bring their significant others. 

    If you are printing your own invitations, you can always personalize the reply cards,
    John. Smith ___ accepts  ___ declines
    Jane. Smith ___accepts  ___ declines

    This way there is no question of who is invited to your wedding.

    ETA - they are not single if they say they are bringing their boyfriend.
    Married 5.6.11

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    edited December 2011
    You should let everyone bring a guest, especially if they are traveling for your wedding. I would only say something if they RSVP with more than their plus 1, and even then I wouldn't exactly know how to bring it up.
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    aegrishaegrish member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with Olivea.  For a DW especially, all guests should have a plus one.  If you cannot afford to host everyone with a plus one than you really need to cut down your guest list until you are at a # where everyone can have a guest if they chose.  It's not fair to ask people to travel to your wedding alone (even if a relative of their's is coming), which is why they are assuming they are allowed to bring a guest.  Now if they want to bring 2 or 3 guests that's another story, but if you address the invitations properly (ms.____ and guest) they will get the idea.
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    edited December 2011
    Or change the venue to one that would be affordable with all guests getting a +1.

    Married in Vegas - June 2011


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    edited December 2011
    I'm in a different camp... anyone with a significant other was of course invited with said SO. But we have a lot of single friends, and I wasn't going to cut half of them out, just so the other half of them could bring a random friend if they wanted. We already had to majorly cut our original "at home wedding" guest list.

    However... in our 140 person guest list, there are no single guests being invited who aren't friends with other people who are also invited. If that weren't the case, maybe we would have approached our invite list differently.

    But now I'm worried I'm a bad person or lousy at etiqutte!
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    smokeybaileysmokeybailey member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, we cut our list to it's current state so that everyone is invited with a guest.  It sucks to have to fly alone, pay for a cab/shuttle there and back alone, room alone, etc.  It's much nicer to have someone to plan with.

    However, if the wedding was held at home, we would have done the same thing.  I am firmly in the camp that everyone should always be invited with a guest. 

    Until I came to the knot I didn't know that people ever invited singles sans guest.
    Bi-oh-rama
    Now with more wedded bliss.


    I don't get married often, but when I do, I do it in Las Vegas.

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    "Lvharpy could be your AE." - direy25
    "smokeybailey is the one shining beacon of light in this steaming turd of a thread." - daffodil_jill
    "The almighty smokeybailey has spoken." - some bitch on the Las Vegas board

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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_guest-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:4668a961-0bc4-4c8d-8c6e-ae57f016def3Post:82acc8cd-1ad1-41d8-9de7-7e7a2548870d">Re: guest who say</a>:
    [QUOTE]However... in our 140 person guest list, there are no single guests being invited who aren't friends with other people who are also invited.
    Posted by Natrasha[/QUOTE]

    The downside to that is it relies on each pair of single people that know each other to both attend for it to work out, which can't always be counted on.  The other issue is the type of reception you have; if it's going to involve a lot of seated time, then sure, singles that know each other is fine, but if it's going to involve a lot of dance floor time, that can leave people as the odd man out if they people they know are dancing with others and they're left at a table talking to your Aunt Martha about knitting.

    Married in Vegas - June 2011


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    aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You can invite truly single people (as in, no SO at all) alone to a local wedding, but for a DW, everyone needs a guest.  Sorry, them's the breaks.  No one wants to travel alone.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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    edited December 2011

    I would fly to a DW on my own and not have a problem. But that is me and I am a very confident traveller. I would never assume that someone invited to my wedding would feel the same. Everyone on our guest list has been given a plus 1.

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    edited December 2011
    Dang, I guess I do suck!! I feel incredibly guilty!
    Well, it's a little late now. In my own defense, no one has said "hey, can I bring so-and-so." If they don't feel comfortable coming to Vegas, we are having an at-home celebration for that very reason. I guess in my mind, at some point there has to be a balance between the wedding we want to have, making accomodations for our guests, and not going into huge amounts of debt.
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    edited December 2011
    I only brought it up because I've been 'that guy' before.  I went to a friend's DW and although he put me at a table with several other people I knew, it was a mix of guys and girls and they knew each other better than they knew me so they all ended up dancing and I was the one that didn't have anyone to dance with so I sat there watching lol.

    Married in Vegas - June 2011


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    guamibearguamibear member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Honestly, it's extremely rude for folks to bring guests that are not invited, destination wedding or not. However, if they are in a couple,  that does add a different dynamic, but to bring your siblings or parents....that's pushing it.

     I invited several single people and did not add a plus one if I was not aware of them dating someone. I did get some RSVPs or questions if people could bring dates. I told them once I had the final guest list I could let them know because our venues had limits for numbers. I had folks that wanted to invite random people with them and considering I couldn't invite a lot of people (family and friends) due to budget and space constraints, I was not interested in meeting strangers at my wedding for the first time. In the end, I was able to let some folks bring their dates due to the amount of people that could not make our wedding. I was open to allowing plus ones if I knew the person I invited didn't know a lot of other people. Everyone was extremely understanding. You're spending a lot of money and if folks can't understand you have limited resources, that really isn't your problem.  We all live in reality and have limits we are planning within.
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    esdjco86esdjco86 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    unfortunately my guest list is trimmed as it is and to cut even more would be even more personal. so i will give them the option if they want to bring a guest they must pay for that guest. that way its giving them the option of whether or not they want to come and if they want to come that bad with that person then they can pay. dh and i for our vow renewal cannot afford anything more then what we have and our friends know that.
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    smokeybaileysmokeybailey member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_guest-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:4668a961-0bc4-4c8d-8c6e-ae57f016def3Post:80ccfefc-00e1-498e-9bab-de6df959a96a">Re: guest who say</a>:
    [QUOTE]unfortunately my guest list is trimmed as it is and to cut even more would be even more personal. so i will give them the option if they want to bring a guest they must pay for that guest. that way its giving them the option of whether or not they want to come and if they want to come that bad with that person then they can pay. dh and i for our vow renewal cannot afford anything more then what we have and our friends know that.
    Posted by esdjco86@aol.com[/QUOTE]

    Don't do that.  Just don't invite them with a guest.  How will that work?  Will they send you a check for the cost per head in advance?  Bad deal, dude.

    I think we have maybe 10 "and guests" on the list.  It is more than worth it to allow 10 people who are VERY close to us have a guest than to have 10 people have to travel without a travel companion/date and then 10 people that are really not as close.  Plus with a small destination wedding, there isn't a large pool of single people to hang out with.  Should FI's 60 something year old uncle (who is traveling quite a distance) sit with my 30-something single girlfriends who would be sharing the table with the 50-something year old co-worker of FI's from a totally different place?  Yeah, that will be fun for them.

    I just can't get on the no guest bus. 
    Bi-oh-rama
    Now with more wedded bliss.


    I don't get married often, but when I do, I do it in Las Vegas.

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    "Lvharpy could be your AE." - direy25
    "smokeybailey is the one shining beacon of light in this steaming turd of a thread." - daffodil_jill
    "The almighty smokeybailey has spoken." - some bitch on the Las Vegas board

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