If you could change one thing....

starryeyed77

I thought I'd start a thread for all the brides *and groom* still around so we could note that one thing we would change about our wedding day/experience. 

I know when I was planning I would have ate this up! 

My change:
 I would have had a meet & greet the night before.  I opted not to do this because I wanted guests and wedding party to have the most free time as possible so it wouldn't just be a wedding trip, they would get lots of free time to explore.

Why would I change this:
I did not get enough time to see my guests other than the wedding reception.  The night before the wedding I had a hair and makeup trial and then I felt like I was being pulled in different directions and didn't know who to hang out with.  I felt like I was going to hurt people's feelings and practically had an anxiety attack. It caused a lot of stress that could have been easily cured if I had everyone in a central spot!

What would you change??

SarahInVegas

Awesome idea for a thread! I can't wait to read all the answers. Thanks for the thoughts re the meet and great- I had been tossing up whether to do it or not- you have just helped me make a decision! x

Knottie1450123632

i agree awsome possum.  can i change my family lol or some of them lol ) kidding

lw007

Agreed thanks for this in advance to the ladies who post

vegasgroom

Pretty sure my wife's answer would be WAIT to choose your bridesmaids; you don't have to do it the night you get engaged and may end up regretting it if you do lol.

My answer would probably be one that doesn't have much hope of succeeding but is worth a try either way.  I would attempt to write monetary penalties into any major vendor contracts; i.e. if you're spending over a couple thousand with a partcular vendor who will play a critical role, write a monetary penalty into the contract for failing to meet specific requirements.  If they balk, counter that with if you don't anticipate any issues, why would you have a problem with adding this language to the contract?  What drove this idea on my part was a very disappointing experience with our videographer who, leading up to, and on, wedding day, left us fully confident we had made the right choice, and a year later, four months past the contracted due date, but with no penalty for failure to meet the contract, what we finally received was far from what we had expected.

simonik

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_if-you-could-change-one-thing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:5331d7a4-e40d-412d-8e2b-485bf96b9d5cPost:1c1d177b-4c71-4bbf-965c-59c7949b4af9">Re: If you could change one thing....</a>:
[QUOTE]Pretty sure my wife's answer would be WAIT to choose your bridesmaids; you don't have to do it the night you get engaged and may end up regretting it if you do lol. My answer would probably be one that doesn't have much hope of succeeding but is worth a try either way.  I would attempt to write monetary penalties into any major vendor contracts; i.e. if you're spending over a couple thousand with a partcular vendor who will play a critical role, write a monetary penalty into the contract for failing to meet specific requirements.  If they balk, counter that with if you don't anticipate any issues, why would you have a problem with adding this language to the contract?  What drove this idea on my part was a very disappointing experience with our videographer who, leading up to, and on, wedding day, left us fully confident we had made the right choice, and a year later, four months past the contracted due date, but with no penalty for failure to meet the contract, what we finally received was far from what we had expected.
Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]

I havent been married yet, but I couldnt agree more. I waited 6 months and  I am having a regret!!  How did your wife get through the bridesmaid situation?

vegasgroom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_if-you-could-change-one-thing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:5331d7a4-e40d-412d-8e2b-485bf96b9d5cPost:04c24908-1a20-4521-ae5c-2cd328609bf7">Re: If you could change one thing....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: If you could change one thing.... : I havent been married yet, but I couldnt agree more. I waited 6 months and  I am having a regret!!  How did your wife get through the bridesmaid situation?
Posted by simonik[/QUOTE]

She actually ended up doing the big etiquette no-no.  It became apparent that the issues that occurred over a six to eight month period after asking them had basically ruined any friendship that once was, and against my recommendation that she just tough it out, she told two of the girls she didn't want them to be BM's anymore.  I had taken the stand that hey, these were good friends at some point, I think, so why not just deal with it and see if things can be put back together post-wedding; not to mention it pretty much guarantees that won't happen if you drop them.

In hindsight, even though the E board would trash both of us, it was a great move.  Since the whole situation was building up over the better part of a year, neither of us had realized just how stressed, moody and annoyed by it she had gotten; afterward, it was like the rain clouds were gone and the sun was shining and she was back to can't wait to get married every day instead of what am I going to do about these two girls every day.

themrsJRD

If I could change one thing I would have wanted our DD bus tour to work out. I still am really bothered by this to this day, almost a year later. They totally screwed us out of a major event on our wedding night. I honestly don't know what I could've done differently, I confirmed our pickup location with them several times by phone & email. Very sad.

I was really happy with everything else & every other vendor though.

simonik

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_if-you-could-change-one-thing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:5331d7a4-e40d-412d-8e2b-485bf96b9d5cPost:87ec3506-a1d3-4140-bab8-5a2394c45fbc">Re: If you could change one thing....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: If you could change one thing.... : She actually ended up doing the big etiquette no-no.  It became apparent that the issues that occurred over a six to eight month period after asking them had basically ruined any friendship that once was, and against my recommendation that she just tough it out, she told two of the girls she didn't want them to be BM's anymore.  I had taken the stand that hey, these were good friends at some point, I think, so why not just deal with it and see if things can be put back together post-wedding; not to mention it pretty much guarantees that won't happen if you drop them. In hindsight, even though the E board would trash both of us, it was a great move.  Since the whole situation was building up over the better part of a year, neither of us had realized just how stressed, moody and annoyed by it she had gotten; afterward, it was like the rain clouds were gone and the sun was shining and she was back to can't wait to get married every day instead of what am I going to do about these two girls every day.
Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]

This really made me see the light. I feel the same exact way. Its gotten to the point that my fiance has suggested I reimburse her for the dress.  She is my future sister in law --- will be getting married 4 months after me and is not having me in her wedding.  That is swell. I do not expect it but her reasoning for it is hurtful and my brother is not having my future fiance who he thinks highly of because of this also.

My brother and I have always had a great relationship and I used to be best friends with her but its become evident over the past few months that they have no want or need to mend our relationship.

Anywho... Thats not the main point.  She betrayed my Maid of Honor (another future sister in law) and she has since refused to make things better. Her words "everyone talks about people behind their back --- it just happens"

So sad... but I think I may have to go that route. I already feel like a cloud is following me and I do not want that on my wedding day.

Knottie1450123632

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_if-you-could-change-one-thing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:5331d7a4-e40d-412d-8e2b-485bf96b9d5cPost:708af58f-bd97-47a9-8ca7-25db5f71106a">Re: If you could change one thing....</a>:
[QUOTE]If I could change one thing I would have wanted our DD bus tour to work out. I still am really bothered by this to this day, almost a year later. They totally screwed us out of a major event on our wedding night. I honestly don't know what I could've done differently, I confirmed our pickup location with them several times by phone & email. Very sad. I was really happy with everything else & every other vendor though.
Posted by themrsJRD[/QUOTE]

what happened?

Knottie1450123632

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_if-you-could-change-one-thing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:5331d7a4-e40d-412d-8e2b-485bf96b9d5cPost:ae916244-e639-40d6-856f-9e0f00392d7e">Re: If you could change one thing....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: If you could change one thing.... : This really made me see the light. I feel the same exact way. Its gotten to the point that my fiance has suggested I reimburse her for the dress.  She is my future sister in law --- will be getting married 4 months after me and is not having me in her wedding.  That is swell. I do not expect it but her reasoning for it is hurtful and my brother is not having my future fiance who he thinks highly of because of this also. My brother and I have always had a great relationship and I used to be best friends with her but its become evident over the past few months that they have no want or need to mend our relationship. Anywho... Thats not the main point.  She betrayed my Maid of Honor (another future sister in law) and she has since refused to make things better. Her words "everyone talks about people behind their back --- it just happens" So sad... but I think I may have to go that route. I already feel like a cloud is following me and I do not want that on my wedding day.
Posted by simonik[/QUOTE]


in my opinion you need to do what is goin make you happy and have a relaxed time in planning.  im sorry blowing ettiquette out the window i would rather be relaxed and happy than follow ettiquette.  :)

simonik

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_if-you-could-change-one-thing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:5331d7a4-e40d-412d-8e2b-485bf96b9d5cPost:32f01600-ddc7-4b04-a30d-59fe33536979">Re: If you could change one thing....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: If you could change one thing.... : in my opinion you need to do what is goin make you happy and have a relaxed time in planning.  im sorry blowing ettiquette out the window i would rather be relaxed and happy than follow ettiquette.  :)
Posted by southerncutie[/QUOTE]

Thats what I am thinking. Its a tough predicament. Especially seing that they are family.

vegasgroom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_if-you-could-change-one-thing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:5331d7a4-e40d-412d-8e2b-485bf96b9d5cPost:ae916244-e639-40d6-856f-9e0f00392d7e">Re: If you could change one thing....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: If you could change one thing.... : This really made me see the light. I feel the same exact way. Its gotten to the point that my fiance has suggested I reimburse her for the dress.  She is my future sister in law --- will be getting married 4 months after me and is not having me in her wedding.  That is swell. I do not expect it but her reasoning for it is hurtful and my brother is not having my future fiance who he thinks highly of because of this also. My brother and I have always had a great relationship and I used to be best friends with her but its become evident over the past few months that they have no want or need to mend our relationship. Anywho... Thats not the main point.  She betrayed my Maid of Honor (another future sister in law) and she has since refused to make things better. Her words "everyone talks about people behind their back --- it just happens" So sad... but I think I may have to go that route. I already feel like a cloud is following me and I do not want that on my wedding day.
Posted by simonik[/QUOTE]

Yeah if it's at that point, not to mention the increased drama between her and your MOH on wedding day, might be time to cut your losses on her.  Prior to seeing the before and after my wife experienced after going through with it, I'd have probably done the same thing I did before and lobbied to just see it through, but after seeing what a strain had been lifted, I'm all about people being happy now.

krisstyle12

If I could change anything, I would have had the ceremony at the MB and kept everything in the same location. I also wish I had another day or so to hang with my guests by the pool and to take my kids all over the casinos and show them all the cool kid-oriented stuff there is to see in Vegas. I feel like I didn't get to spend much time with my kids and they got short-changed on their trip. And I wanted more pictures of my kids all dressed up. I hope the photog got some cuz I have only seen one non-pro pic of my boys so far...

allysa04

I'm sure your photog's got some pics of the boys!  They had to, right?!?!?

We aren't doing everything in the same location either, which is one of the main reasons I MADE FI agree to providing transportation for everyone from the Ceremony to the Reception. 

We asked everyone to get there a day early so we could hang by the pool and relax, and most everyone did.  My dad is also BBQing for everyone the day after, so there will be lots of time to hang out with everyone, which was super important to me!

7 days, I absolutely cannot wait!!!!

starryeyed77

In Response to Re:If you could change one thing....:[QUOTE]If I could change anything, I would have had the ceremony at the MB and kept everything in the same location. I also wish I had another day or so to hang with my guests by the pool and to take my kids all over the casinos and show them all the cool kidoriented stuff there is to see in Vegas. I feel like I didn't get to spend much time with my kids and they got shortchanged on their trip. And I wanted more pictures of my kids all dressed up. I hope the photog got some cuz I have only seen one nonpro pic of my boys so far... Posted by krisstyle12[/QUOTE]

That was the ultimate reason we had ours at the House of Blues foundation room. We didn't want the worry and cost of transportation.

I'm sure you have pics of them. We had that problem too, didn't get to spend enough time with my hUsbands kids. We made them a BM and GM so that helped us get them involved in the wedding day. Loved your pics so far!!

Cheles93

The only thing I would have changed (and really it wasn't that bad) was to specifically outline everything I wanted Pastor Pete to say during our ceremony. He was a nice guy, and I thought hey, he does this for a living so he has to be good, but in looking at the video, he was trying too hard to be funny and sounded corny. DO NOT LET him do "a golf analogy that is very popular". It is not funny nor could possibly be popular. 

He is the included pastor with the Platinum Hotel All Inclusive package and again, I'm sure would be great if you outline the entire ceremony with exactly what you want said.

To this day my husband and I and even our friends say that was the BEST wedding they have EVER BEEN TOO!!! yay VEGAS

themrsJRD

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_if-you-could-change-one-thing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:5331d7a4-e40d-412d-8e2b-485bf96b9d5cPost:fb9b1d02-62ef-488c-ae1d-16fb7509c3d2">Re: If you could change one thing....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: If you could change one thing.... : what happened?
Posted by southerncutie[/QUOTE]

<div>Everything was fine, we dropped off the alcohol the day of with money for ice, & I had been in contact with them all week.. after the ceremony the driver called me & said he was running a little late which wasn't a big deal because we knew traffic was bad.. when he was about 30 minutes late he called again & said he was about to pull up so we herded everyone outside.. he never showed.. come to find out he was at the completely wrong hotel wayy on the other end of the strip & it would be like another 30 minutes before he could get to the right place. We ended up cancelling & telling him to just bring our stuff back to us. When he did finally get there, well over an hour late, we still could have gone, but by that time we had moved up the time for the food delivery & all so I just said forget it. We did get all of our money back. But it still bothers me to this day becasue we had told all the guests about it & we were all excited, & we had Todd from B&W & were planning on getting tons of awesome pics. I don't know if the owner told the driver the wrong hotel or if the driver just made a mistake. In any case... like I said, still really bothers me!! :(</div>