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FI guest

Hi Ladies, I do not post much however I need to get this out. I have been planning my May 29 wedding for over a year now. I was planning for about 20-25 guest. FI 10 me 10 . So now that its only 3 months away it seem like FI guest are not coming ,his bestman / cousin started avoiding my fi, When we were about to get in touch with him he said " I did not know I had to fly " then " I am not sure I can come up with the money". SO we offered to pay half , if he was scared to fly then we can all fly together. now it a no show no call he want answer our calls.( I am pissed) When I try to talk to my FI about his guest he gets mad . I am not sure what up with his other friend . I hoping that his froster father will come and bring his young brother to be his best man . 
 We were planning only staying with our wedding party, I want be able to stay with my girls. our bachelor/bachelorett party will change. I do not know what to do I can not talk to FI about this . he realy do not have a lot of friends or family that is why this is so hard.
Sorry this was so long I had to get this out .
Thanks Shaq  

Re: FI guest

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    aegrishaegrish member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If the BM/Cousin doesn't want to come, don't force him too.  If he's avoiding your calls, I'd consider that aa good sign he does not want to come and leave it at that.  You should not have to beg or bribe guests or your wedding party to come to your wedding.  They should have a sincere interest in coming without you pleading with them.

    Also, if your FI is upset his friends/family are backing out, you do need to talk to him about it, and I do not understand why you say you 'cannot'.  Sure it may be a touchy/awkward subject for him, but if you can't bring up issues about the wedding with him, what's it going to be like after the wedding?  Sit down and talk to him.  If it really is the no-show family and freinds that are bothering him, maybe don't plan as many split guy/girl events as you initially did.

    A lot of weddings (mine included) have 1 side that has more guests than the other. It's not a big deal unless you make it one.
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    edited December 2011
    I've just had a similar issue with my wedding.  Our wedding is in 32 days and my fiance's second groomsman just called last week to inform us that he wasn't able to afford to come.  I've been frustrated on my fiance's behalf that his side of the family/friends have been cancelling on us.  

    However, I've been trying to keep a couple of things in my mind to help me through this. First, we are very lucky to have found each other.  2 people or 20, the day is still supposed to be about you as a couple celebrating your love for each other.  That doesn't change regardless of who shows up.  Second, be grateful for the people that are coming to celebrate with you.  In today's economy, it is awesome that people are willing to spend money to come to Vegas and be with you on your special day.  Lastly, one act (coming to your wedding or not coming) does not define an entire relationship with a person.  It's not an all or nothing situation. (As in, either you come to our wedding or our friendship is through!)  Life rarely works that way.  Yes, sometimes your friends are jerks or make mistakes, but no one is perfect!!!  That doesn't negate all the good things they've done in the past or all the other ways they've been there for you in the past.  I'm trying hard to remember these things for myself.  
    I'm sorry for your disappointment.  Just know that you are not alone.  Others have gone through this as well.  :)
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_fi-guest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:5b8e7deb-bb22-4877-bf98-3aa7535986cbPost:0ab8dd99-be40-445d-8391-aed742554d93">Re: FI guest</a>:
    [QUOTE]I've just had a similar issue with my wedding.  Our wedding is in 32 days and my fiance's second groomsman just called last week to inform us that he wasn't able to afford to come.  I've been frustrated on my fiance's behalf that his side of the family/friends have been cancelling on us.   However, I've been trying to keep a couple of things in my mind to help me through this. <strong>First, we are very lucky to have found each other.  2 people or 20, the day is still supposed to be about you as a couple celebrating your love for each other.  That doesn't change regardless of who shows up.  Second, be grateful for the people that are coming to celebrate with you.  In today's economy, it is awesome that people are willing to spend money to come to Vegas and be with you on your special day.  Lastly, one act (coming to your wedding or not coming) does not define an entire relationship with a person.  It's not an all or nothing situation. (As in, either you come to our wedding or our friendship is through!)  Life rarely works that way.  Yes, sometimes your friends are jerks or make mistakes, but no one is perfect!!!  That doesn't negate all the good things they've done in the past or all the other ways they've been there for you in the past.  I'm trying hard to remember these things for myself.   I'm sorry for your disappointment.  Just know that you are not alone.  Others have gone through this as well.  :)
    </strong>Posted by drkarie[/QUOTE]

    Well said! and this is how you have to think of these things, because unfortunately when guest have to travel things like this are going to come up, and YEP it SUCKS but you gotta roll with the punches.
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    edited December 2011
    Not all guys will want to talk about this type of issue.  I'd be pretty upset if a bunch of my friends bailed out on coming to my wedding, especially my groomsmen, destination or not.  Actually I can't imagine any of my groomsmen telling me the were not going to come, it would be really difficult but it's also probably not something I'd want to rehash with FI or anyone else, that would just make me feel worse.  So it may just require giving him some time to decide how he wants to handle it; prodding him to talk about it may not produce the desired results.

    Married in Vegas - June 2011


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    wallacjewallacje member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_fi-guest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:5b8e7deb-bb22-4877-bf98-3aa7535986cbPost:ec6a6034-86b6-499f-be7d-15ae0f3495da">Re: FI guest</a>:
    [QUOTE]A lot of weddings (mine included) have 1 side that has more guests than the other. It's not a big deal unless you make it one.
    Posted by aegrish[/QUOTE]

    Aegrish said exactly what I was thinking
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    edited December 2011
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