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At home celebration

I've been struggling with ettiquette on this all weekend and would like some advice. Our guest list is around 200 people. We have about 80-100 who we are pretty sure would make every effort to come to Vegas. But we want to have a party at home for those who can't make it.

First of all, is this rude at all? I don't want it to be gift grabby, and it will be more of a park picnic/barbeque type of party than any sort of traditional reception (we'd have wedding pictures out). Is anyone doing this? I really just don't want anyone to feel left out or stretch themselves to thin on a vacation they can't afford.

FI started whittling down our guest list and has a list of about 50 people that we could invite ONLY to our at-home party. But this seems a little rude to me. We should invite everyone to both events, right?

Re: At home celebration

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    edited December 2011
    We had 30 guests come to Vegas and both sets of parents wanted to host some sort of hometown reception. We allowed it as long as they were casual - so we called them "celebrations." They turned out pretty good, although I think they were more stressful than the actual wedding for myself. lol. We had photos and the video playing all day. I was planning on putting my dress on at some point, but never did because it just didn't feel right.
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    edited December 2011
    Actually it's what you want to do.  I had my worries also in not wanting to offend people or seem rude when I first started planning my Vegas wedding.  What I did was get a feel of what my friends and family thought and there opinions before I started making plans for an at home party, Vegas wedding, etc.  And in my circle of friends and family I had a lot of positive responses.  Now that is going to vary from family to family.  So what my family and friends might think is a good idea might be frowned upon by another person's friends and family. 

    When I first started with the idea of a destination wedding and lurked on different boards about etiquette and what to do, depending on the board, you would be told not to have an at home party, forget about having a wedding shower, and don't even dare register.  When it comes down to it, your family and friends will be the best guides on what would be the most appropriate.

    With that being said I am having a full at home celebration.  This weekend my family threw me a wonderful wedding shower.  My friends threw me a great couples shower a month before, and they are throwing my a bachelorette party next month.  I didn't ask or expect for any of that, and am amazed at how generous everyone has been.  That's probably not the norm for other groups but that's just how my experience has been so far.
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    edited December 2011
    We invited our immediate family and a few very close friends - of which 16 people came. We then had a bbq/picnic back home, then about 150 people came. I don't think its gift grabby - you are sharing a special day with many family and friends.
    We heard nothing but great comments about how we went about everything. The party back home was a very laid back even,t we played volleyball and wore jeans.  (I was also planning to put my dress on for a few minutes at least - but it just didn't seem right, so it stayed in the bag)
    My mom surprised me with a wonderful shower of about 50 close friends and family members and while in Vegas we had a girls night out with the people who were able to join.
    We also registered at BB&B and Target (in case you were concerned it was tacky) I was not planning to, but after my mom and my mil suggested it we did it - and it was alot of fun. And now its perfect that we have that with the holidays coming up we can just refer people to that for the perfect gift!
    Anniversary
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    edited December 2011
    You girls are fantastic! Most people I have talked to are in favor of what we're thinking of doing, so your experiences are very encouraging to me. I certainly don't expect a shower or gifts or anything. I know partying with our guests in Vegas is going to be so much fun, and I want to share that with anyone who can't make it.
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    edited December 2011
    I think if you are inviting them to the AHR then you have to invite them to the ceremony in Vegas. They get to choose which event(s) they go to.
    image
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    solbejsolbej member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are getting married with just our immediate family in Vegas. I was concerned about this as well. All of our friends and family are happy and excited for our AHR. We are doing the town hall type thing with cake, DJ, dinner, etc. We have heard nothing but good things from all. I did not want a shower, but my close friends and co-workers insisted on throwing one. From my experience people have been more offended when I decline the traditional things.  Also, we did put it out there that anyone who wished could come to Vegas and join us.
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    edited December 2011
    Our families are abroad and not going to attend the Vegas wedding, so we'll only have the presence of our friends. They are the only ones we'll be sending invitations to, family members will receive announcement cards with the details on how to connect with the ceremony via the web.
    After the honeymoon we'll fly overseas to have a big celebration party with everyone else. I'm going to arrange e few traditional details like favors, cake, dancing etc. Everyone has been wonderful and open-minded about it, they like the idea of having two celebrations and are even contributing to the registry regardless. Don't worry about it being tacky, rude or unconventional or you name it... the ones who love you will respect your choices and will want to celebrate you no matter what.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_home-celebration?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:60ba9579-f6d5-4ac8-bb5e-4480727432d3Post:3d76fc53-e1d9-4a4f-9335-d923af108a2c">Re: At home celebration</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think if you are inviting them to the AHR then you have to invite them to the ceremony in Vegas. They get to choose which event(s) they go to.
    Posted by dvohnout[/QUOTE]
    this - 100%. 
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    jkhoutzjkhoutz member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm glad someone posted this because we're actually doing the same thing. I love the idea of a BBQ and volleyball, etc. Was even thinking about having it be luau themed but probably will only do that if we end up honeymooning in Hawaii.

    I saw a book at the library with some really great and inexpensive decorating ideas for a luau if anyone els is interested in that idea. Things like using shoots of bamboo as a decorative candle holder, even appetizer and drink ideas. Wish I remembered the name of the book but I'm sure there's plenty more out there like it.
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    edited December 2011
    Ooh, the idea of a theme for the party back home sounds awesome! We are really hoping to honeymoon in Australia in early 2012 and then the at-home party would be that spring, so we'd have pictures and video from that to share at the party in addition to wedding pictures and video. A Shrimp-on-the-Barbie party? I think yes!
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