Issue with Guest's Date HELP!!!!

Juliette52

Ok - I have a messed up senario going on with some guests.  Long story, short...The best man (Mark) was dating/living with his girlfriend(Sarah).  Then they broke up and a friend of all of ours(Joe) began dating her.  So Joe has been invited to the wedding and plans on coming with a guest, which I'm assuming would be the ex of the best man.  I'm not sure if the best man has an issue with his friend dating his ex, but I really don't want her to come.  First of all, I don't want to risk there being drama between them.  Second, I have never liked Sarah and don't feel like catering to someone who has never been respectful to me or my fiance.  Am I being out of line??  How should I deal with this?  I'm not a bridezilla AT ALL, and don't want to come off rude, but I basically want to tell Joe that he cannot bring her.  HELP!!

Sloane99

This sucks, I'm sorry, but if Joe was invited with a guest, then he gets to bring a guest regardless of whether or not you like her.

Have you talked to the Best Man? Is he aware that Joe may be bringing her? How many people are you inviting? If it's a large group, then I would think/hope that drama will be kept to a minimum, if there's only 10 people then it will be hard to avoid the awkwardness, but presumably they can all act like adults for the evening, right?

kikibaby

I agree with Sloane, that if you invited Joe with a guest you need to let him bring a guest... regardless of who that is.  It may be awkward, but they're all adults so I'm sure they can be mature about it. 

It would be really rude to tell Joe that he absolutely can not bring his girlfriend, especially to a DW.

RachNRich

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_issue-guests-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:74cc4ac6-7c8b-466d-b500-3348b1b1a45fPost:0dc2fac1-4f43-4f4c-85bc-99c9d1aad098">Re: Issue with Guest's Date HELP!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with Sloane, that if you invited Joe with a guest you need to let him bring a guest... regardless of who that is.  It may be awkward, but they're all adults so I'm sure they can be mature about it.  It would be really rude to tell Joe that he absolutely can not bring his girlfriend, especially to a DW.
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

Kiki is wise. You should listen to her.

And? In the grand scheme of things, you won't be paying attention to her on your wedding day---so, it's not even worth stressing over.

keana123

Sorry ladies but I am going against popular opinion. Yes, you did invite the friend + a guest, and yes he should be able to bring whoever he chooses. However, I think you should have a little heart to heart conversation and say that it would make you and your FI and some of your guests a bit uncomfortable if he brought her. Still leave the decision up to him, but be honest about your feelings. Worse case scenario, he decides to bring her at least the two of them will be on their best behavior to keep the peace. That's my 2 cents.

melissaandjosh418

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_issue-guests-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:74cc4ac6-7c8b-466d-b500-3348b1b1a45fPost:fe129aa0-b52d-407c-9a73-81946c46e767">Re: Issue with Guest's Date HELP!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry ladies but I am going against popular opinion. Yes, you did invite the friend + a guest, and yes he should be able to bring whoever he chooses. However, I think you should have a little heart to heart conversation and say that it would make you and your FI and some of your guests a bit uncomfortable if he brought her. Still leave the decision up to him, but be honest about your feelings. Worse case scenario, he decides to bring her at least the two of them will be on their best behavior to keep the peace. That's my 2 cents.
Posted by keana123[/QUOTE]
 This! I hate when people start drama for no good reason. I'm sure he is aware of the situation already so at least they should be on their best behavior. In the end it's about you and your husband and that's all that will matter :)

keana123

I don't think that's starting drama, sounds like there already is drama. If my friend was uncomfortable with my date I would want him/her to tell me,  even if I brought them anyway. I'm not saying stomp your feet and yell but just say what's on your mind in a respectful way. Besides, he should already be thinking this considering the situation with his current girlfriend. You have a right to celebrate your wedding with the people that make you happy and comfortable.

cinegrad

I'm 100% with Keana (great advice, btw!).  I'm a big fan of open, honest communications.  I think it's more about HOW things are said rather than WHAT is said.  State your case calmly and peacefully and then (like Kiki said) trust folks to be adults about the matter.

amandajean36

i'm voting with the "you can't really tell him who to bring" people.  sorry.  i just don't think you get to decide who someone brings as a date if you gave them an open "and guest".  the whole situation kinda sucks, but thats between your guy friends and this girl.  and i also believe that everyone will be mature enough to handle a dinner/reception without any drama.

also, even though you don't like this girl, it sounds like she was going to be at your wedding no matter what - either as the best man's date or this other guy's date.  just put her in a seat that's in the corner and ignore her

oh --- and i wanted to add --- shout out to the D!  i'm from Michigan and lived in the Detroit area for a few years