Nevada-Las Vegas
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People inviting themselves-need opinions (vent~long)

I'm fuming right now!
Background: We're both in the military, we deployed with sister units so we know people from each others units. FI is back home now while I am still here. Since FI did some special training before he came out here he has spent the last year+ with the same guys and some of them have become close friends of ours. One of those guys was supposed to deploy with my unit but was left behind due to an incident in which he had an argument with another guy in which he called him by a derogatory name. He was left behind because we clearly didn't need the extra stress in this environment. FI's friend is white, the other guy is Hispanic.

Fast forward to now, he talks to one of our other friends and finds out about our plans, he asks for an invite (!) and FI asks me how I feel about it. FI is white, I am Hispanic. My answer to FI was that is was his call. I honestly don't feel comfortable with the guy though. Obviously he has biases he can't keep to himself and I believe he would be there for all the wrong reasons...

What do you guys think? Should I agree and send him an invite? Or should I just tell FI I think his friend is a racist pig and I don't want him at my wedding.....OK deep down I know the answer but I'm venting right now.

Btw, I love how people invite themselves to weddings, it's hilarious to me.

Thanks if you made it this far :-)

Re: People inviting themselves-need opinions (vent~long)

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    GribblesGribbles member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    His wish for an invitation aka. an excuse to go to Vegas is far less important than your wish for him not to be anywhere near you especially on your wedding day, so there's your answer...!

    It is so rude when people blatantly ASK for an invitation - I would never dream of doing that to anyone, let alone someone I wasn't even friends with.
    www.mywedding.com/benandpetra
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    edited December 2011
    GAAAAAHHHHHH DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED!!!!! They should definitly not be at your wedding if you dont feel confortable, especially since its not going to be a huge hundreds of people wedding!! That is the reason that probably most of us are doing a Vegas wedding so it can be close and intimate with only best friends and close family. I am sure that if he and your FI are close your guy can explain that and say hey, its just close friends and family, nothing personal!! Just make sure to express your concerns with your guy, I am sure that he would understand. I have a similar situation with my guys cousin who always (and I mean ALWAYS) gets in fights....every time we go out.. every time!! So I told me guy I know its your cousin but you need to sit down with him and make it clear that if he starts a fight, he will never be included again!! Just talk it out and make sure you are completely honest, men, (unfortunatly) are not mind readers so you really have to spell out what you want!! Gosh this was rambling!!
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    edited December 2011
    I know, just the thought of him across the dinner table irks me. I think he just feels left out since the other two guys are coming. Oh well, I'm calm now...no big deal. I'm just amazed how people just invite themselves. Now that I think about it, he's not the first one to invite himself, I just chose to ignore the other ones.
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    edited December 2011
    Would your FI consider himself to be "good friends" with this guy? Did you express to him that you are uncomfortable with him being there? Sucks that he asked for an invite, but what if FI would like him there?

    I wouldn't invite him if I were that uncomfortable about it.
    Anniversary
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    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't invite him and I wouldn't feel bad about why either. The guy is tackless enough to invite himself, rude enough to make those comments. I mean who wants to deal with him on your day? Not you and probably not your FI...

    Good luck it will all work out though.
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    edited December 2011
    FI conveniently dropped the convo as soon as I said "your call", that was after I said, Whaaaat? Why did he invite himself? lol, I can only laugh about it now, we have so many other things going on...Thanks ladies
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    edited December 2011
    Ugh don't get me started on this. We wanted to have a small wedding in Vegas and ended up having to deal with a few people who just assumed they would be attending our wedding even though we aren't that close to them! It was annoying to say the least.

    I can't tell if your fiance wants the guy there or not. I would say don't let him com unless your fiance really wants him to be there.
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