Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
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Catholic/Protestant

My finace is Catholic and REALLY wants a Catholic wedding.  I am Protestant and neither of us are really religious followers. 

Any ideas? 

Has anyone gone through this?

Re: Catholic/Protestant

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    You don't have to become Catholic to have a Catholic wedding.  My son, a Presbyterian, married his wife in a Catholic church.  They had to go through pre-cana classes together, but he did not have to convert.

    Because our family is not Catholic, they together decided not to have a full mass.

    However, having said that, you two have some major decisions that you need to make before you even begin contemplating marriage, not the least of which is the decision about religion in your lives.

    If you don't want a Catholic ceremony, and he does:  there needs to be a decision.

    If he wants you to convert, and you're not comfortable with that, there needs to be a decision.

    If you plan to have children, there are a lot of decisions:  will your child(ren) be baptized into faith?  Will your children be raised in a faith, and if so, which one?

    I really think you two have some major discussions about faith and your beliefs and future plans before you're ready to get married.

    And at this point, I won't even comment on you talking about a church wedding when you are both self-described as "not religious followers."

    Sit down and start talking.  Good luck.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    Whether you are Catholic or not, you have to attend certain classes to be married in the Catholic church.  My sister is Catholic and husband is not.  They were married in the Catholic church.  You just need to decide if you want a Catholic wedding or not then go talk to the church. You don't have to attend weekly mass or anything like that to be married in the church
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    I am protestant and my FI is Catholic....lucky he and his parents don't care about us having a protestant wedding.
    It also depends on the Catholic Church I think, and the area.....around here most Catholic churches require that both people are Catholic....with some minor exceptions. My friend didn't have to convert because her husband is the Youth Minister at the church as well as the organist and everyone loves him.
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    Bec20Bec20 member
    First Comment
    As others have said, you don't need to convert to have a Catholic wedding.  You would need to take pre-cana classes (basically, premarital counselling and such) and your FI would have to agree to raise the children Catholic.

    You should be aware that the Catholic Church would NOT recognize your FI as being legitimately marriaed, because he must recieve the marriage sacrament in the Catholic Church.  Your FI would be unable to take communion anymore if you marry outside, in your church, or anywhere else basically.  If he is practising, this would be a very big problem.
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    Ditto what others have said so far...I am newly Catholic and FI was raised Protestant.  He agreed to a Catholic wedding, but with no mass.  We both dislike religious songs, so we are avoiding those in the ceremony.  Find your happy-medium compromise, but be prepared to be patient as you negotiate.  Good luck!
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    Keep in mind if you have a Catholic wedding you don't have a lot of say in the ceremony.  You are given certain vows, readings, prayers, etc. to choose from.  Things like writing your own vows, having a pop song, or your favorite poem don't happen. 
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