what do you think? kinda long & maybe confusing

blu2green77

     
         My FI told me earlier today that he wants to get married at Mackinaw - I know for a fact that my extended family won't drive that far for my wedding - I want my family to be there - we are all kinda close but I think that is to far to ask people to drive. So my mom suggested that we get married in Mackinaw but have a reception here in Grand Rapids at a later date. Mackinaw is beautiful but expensive to do the whole wedding & reception there.
        To me, I think a wedding & reception should be on the same day - just my opinion - but I want to make everyone happy so I'm not sure what to do. My parents are paying for the wedding but FI asked that if he pays for us to get married at Mackinaw would my parents still come? Of course I know they would but that isn't the wedding that I had in mind. I don't want it split, I want it to be on the same day.
        My mom told me that we could get married in Ann Arbor (where FI is from & lives) then have a reception here in GR at another time but FI isn't really close to his family so do I have to accommodate them? He said off hand the few people that he thinks might come to our wedding but doesn't want to invite his whole family because he doesn't see them very often. Me on the other hand, I see my family often so inviting them is a given - do I put them out by asking them to drive to either Ann Arbor or Mackinaw when I know his family won't bother to come or do I stay with GR & hope that his family does decide to come?????

        AAAARRRRGGGG - I just don't know what to do - my mind is going a million miles a minute right now.

        I just want a beautiful wedding & reception with the people that we love that are coming to support us & show their love.

AmoroAgain

I think getting married at Mackinaw would be fun!  Also, don't assume right away that they won't drive.  You'd be surprised what people will do for weddings!

Don't have an extra reception.  I think it's silly to baby people like that.  If they can't be bothered to drive to Mackinaw, then they miss out on the wedding.  *shrug*  I guess I look at it this way- If they can't drive a couple of hours to see me get married, well, they just don't care enough.  We planned our wedding from Italy, and had it in GR.  Most of our family doesn't live there.  My H's parents are quite elderly, and in poor health, living in Phoenix.  They managed to get on a plane and come to Michigan to see the wedding.  My grandparents, aunts and uncles live in GA.  They came to the wedding!

People do a lot of huffing and bluffing about weddings before, but when it comes down to it, they'll suck up and go.

AmoroAgain

Also, one thing you should remember while planning:  You can't please everyone, so it's best to please yourself. (to an extent!)

jleigh1902

I agree with Amoro. You can't please everyone! We had thought about having a small wedding at a B&B in Mackinac but I couldn't imagine not having my whole family (aunts/uncles/cousins) there so we decided to stay in GR. None of our family lives in GR so with the exception of about 10 friends, everyone will be from out of town. Two of my good friends got married here and invited my parents and they made the trip from Detroit...for MY friends. My point is, people will make the trek if they really care.

blu2green77

        Is it tacky to have a wedding one day then plan a reception for another weekend? That is what I'm having issues with the most I guess - to ask people to come to a wedding & then turn around & come to a reception at a later date?? FI wants the Mackinaw wedding, fine but to ask people to drive there from GR & also Ann Arbor and then turn around and have a reception in GR on a different day and ask them to drive yet again for the same couple celebrating a marriage that could have been done all on the same day. I just feel that if you are going to get married you should have the ceremony and reception on one date.

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-grand-rapids_think-kinda-long-maybe-confusing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:95Discussion:1d859972-bba1-4a39-91c6-42f4e7b2cb3bPost:e3468a4a-fa53-4f04-9332-71f8b885f7f3">Re: what do you think? kinda long & maybe confusing</a>:
[QUOTE]        Is it tacky to have a wedding one day then plan a reception for another weekend? That is what I'm having issues with the most I guess - to ask people to come to a wedding & then turn around & come to a reception at a later date??
<strong>That's what I was addressing in my first post. Don't have a reception another day, in the same state.  It just doesn't make any sense to me.  And personally, I'd be not happy to go up to Mackinaw, watch the wedding, and then... nothing.  So, do you have two receptions? That's just silly.  </strong>


FI wants the Mackinaw wedding, fine but to ask people to drive there from GR & also Ann Arbor and then turn around and have a reception in GR on a different day and ask them to drive yet again for the same couple celebrating a marriage that could have been done all on the same day.<em> I just feel that if you are going to get married you should have the ceremony and reception on one date.</em>

<strong>I agree completely.  I think you and your FI should have a compromise.  Would he be willing to have a HM at Mackinaw instead of the ceremony?  Or do you want to have the wedding up there (the whole thing, with no extra reception later) and realize that not everyone is going to make it up there?  This is between you and him, and no one else!</strong>
Posted by blu2green77[/QUOTE]

blu2green77

        Thank you for your responses, I appreciate any and all advice I can get.

phill369

I had a friend who did a small, intimate wedding on Lake Michigan, and then a bigger reception back home the next weekend. They did that because they wanted a more private ceremony, but they still wanted to celebrate the marriage with extended family & friends. As a friend, I understood her decision. It really is what you're comfortable with!

chestr22

I completey understand where you are coming from. My FI and I were originally planning on doing everything up on Mackinac Island, but then we started pricing everything out to realize that do a wedding and reception for about 50 people was going to cost to cost us roughly 10,000. Not to mention the logistics of it all. I really wanted my grandmother to be there - shes 70, health isnt good, falls alot, and i know that the car ride, plus the ferry, plus trying to naviagte the island was going to wear her out. Its not as easy as getting on a plane then riding in a car for 5 miles before you get to the hotel. Not to mention my dad who had a stroke 4 years ago and a sister who has MS. 
What we ended up doing was find a spot as close to Mackinac Island as possible, and we found it at Historic Bowens Mills in Yankee Springs. Basically, as soon as you walk around the building, you are thrown back into time, where all of the building are historic, the bride is brought to the ceremony in a surrey. Whats cool is that the owners daughter was married up on Mackinac many years ago, and they went through the nightmares of hauling everything up there, transporting guests, etc. Thats when they decided to start doing weddings at their facility.
Mackinac Island is expensive - not for you but for your guests. This is what we were looking at, and not in a ton of detail, but the ceremony at the Somewhere in Time gazebo, reception at the Chipewa Hotel out on the patio, rent a carriage, and for about 50 people (including ferry coverage), it was going to run 10,000. Not to mention the guests having to pay for their rooms (between 150-300 a night depending on the hotel, if not more), or if they wanted to stay on the mainland, around 100 a night, but the last ferry leaves at 9:30 during peak season! I know it may be what he wants, but really look to see if its feasible. Ask the people who mean the most to you, and make sure they can swing it, not just the travel but also the cost. I recommnd taking your honeymoon there - you can get a condo very reasonible for a week. I know how much we love Mackinac Island and how often we travel there. It is incredible.

if you want more info on Bowens, feel free to look at my bio - I have lots in there!