Wedding Gift Received- Thank you now or later?

CJ4578

We got our first wedding gift! Which is exciting but my co-workers are telling me all different things about what to do. Do we a) open it now, send thank you now? b) Send acknowledgment of gift, don't open it, open it after the wedding and THEN send another thank-you then?

Or c) do we just wait until post-wedding to open it/send a thank-you?

I thought it was option A, but now I'm confused. What are you ladies doing?

NcsuPsych

I was told / this is what I did. . . Open now, but don't use it, just set it aside and send a thank you.  I did this so that the person that sent the gift knew we had recieved it and it wasn't lost. Plus. . . getting an early start on the TY is always a plus! )

alliegator8

I agree with PP.  I've been sending out Thank You cards as soon as I get something.  That way people know I got there gift and that they know we appreciate their generousity.

Plus you really don't want to be swamped with all those thank you cards right after your wedding.

wlfpkbride

I agree with the other ladies. Several people who couldn't come to the wedding sent gifts with their RSVP. I opened them & sent a TY right away. 

CarlySara

I had the same problem...I'd like to send the Thank you now, except the thank you cards we bought have our names on it with my new last name.  I feel like a putz sending it out before the wedding.  So I'm going to write them as I get them, but drop them in the mail the day before the wedding. 

meredithl618

Open and send thank you now.  Believe me, you will be happy to have gotten this done when you have so many others to do after the wedding. 

sunnysarahinNC

agree with all- we're sending as we go!

pirategal03

Open now to be sure it's not broken or anything.  Send a thank you note now.  Put the gift aside to use after the wedding.  The last part is because if for some crazy reason the wedding is called off, you'll have to return the gifts.

elizabethb3511

Etiquette dictates sending the thank you card now.  Mary is right that you'll have to return the gift if the wedding is called off.  If you have thank you cards with your future last name on them, then send any gifts prior to the wedding with a different thank you card (something more basic).  Do not wait until right before or after the wedding if you get a gift more than a month before the wedding.  You technically have a year to write a thank you note for your wedding gifts but the common rule of thumb is to mail them out no more than three months after the wedding.

pirategal03

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina_wedding-gift-received-thank-now-later?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:115Discussion:f9c7b587-cbc8-4f56-92bd-eb8cfadd521aPost:c5f34ca5-2647-41d8-a1b2-ba57aed1f23d">Re: Wedding Gift Received- Thank you now or later?</a>:
[QUOTE]Etiquette dictates sending the thank you card now.  Mary is right that you'll have to return the gift if the wedding is called off.  If you have thank you cards with your future last name on them, then send any gifts prior to the wedding with a different thank you card (something more basic).  Do not wait until right before or after the wedding if you get a gift more than a month before the wedding.  <strong>You technically have a year to write a thank you note for your wedding gifts but the common rule of thumb is to mail them out no more than three months after the wedding.</strong>
Posted by elizabethb3511[/QUOTE]

I was with you up until the bolded point.  It's a common mix up, but you've got that backwards.  Guests have up to a year to send a gift, thank you notes should be sent more timely. 

elizabethb3511

haha.  I just remember when TomKat got married in Italy and on Entertainment Tonight  or Insider they were mentioning that not all the thank yous had been sent by the celebrity couple almost a year out but they still had time.  I trust you more than I trust them!  Thanks for clarifying. :-)

pirategal03

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina_wedding-gift-received-thank-now-later?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:115Discussion:f9c7b587-cbc8-4f56-92bd-eb8cfadd521aPost:d221599f-ebe6-4fcf-8bc0-e9c517b97303">Re: Wedding Gift Received- Thank you now or later?</a>:
[QUOTE]haha.  I just remember when TomKat got married in Italy and on Entertainment Tonight  or Insider they were mentioning that not all the thank yous had been sent by the celebrity couple almost a year out but they still had time.  I trust you more than I trust them!  Thanks for clarifying. :-)
Posted by elizabethb3511[/QUOTE]

I didn't see that, but just that they even mentioned it means that someone went "hmm, it's been almost a year and people haven't received thank-yous yet"  And I think that in itself should indicate that it's in poor taste to wait that long.

Funny related story:  I was a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding 2 years ago.  About 3 weeks ago we were together for dinner and she was like "hey thanks for the X and the Y and the Z y'all got us for our wedding, I know I haven't sent the note yet".  I didn't know what to say, but I thought it was interesting that even 2 years later she must have been feeling the thank-you note pressure. 

brokenhallelujah

Guess I didn't know any of the rules. I opened the presents and used them before the wedding, and I'm just getting TY's out now. I did send emails letting them know I had received the gift, thanks, and I'll get the formal card out after the wedding.

Worked out for me.

But getting thank you notes out ASAP is really kinder on yourself than everyone else. They can be a chore if you keep putting them off (I know.)

GirlieGirl27320

I would go ahead and send the TY card now.  That's my plan if I happen to get any gifts beforehand.

CJ4578

Thanks ladies! Just wanted to make sure I wasn't commiting some huge faux pas if I opened it now and sent them a thank-you specifically thanking them for the gift (as opposed to just thanking them for sending "something.")