I'm venting and seeking out advice from other brides-to-be about this:
A friend of mine and I have been friends for over a decade now.She lives a few states away. We've been through so much together that we are more like sisters than just friends. So, when I told her that I was getting married and asked her to be a bridesmaid I was shocked by her reaction. Instead of being happy for me she gave me some excuse about March 3rd being her daughter's birthday and liking the idea of me getting married on march 31st better.
Several thoughts went through my head but the two main thoughts were (1) I'm the bride so whatever date I pick is the date it'll be and (2) while I would never ask her to put her children before me, I'm only getting married once while her daughter will have other birthdays (not to mention that there is no crime against celebrating your child's birthday the weekend before their actual birthday).
I didn't say anything because I didn't want to seem unreasonable but I just thought that we were better than that.
I told her that my bf was set on March 3rd and told her that I hoped she understood that I would never ask to be put before her children but this is my wedding day and her being there would mean so much to me and since I'm giving advance notice I hope that she could maybe plan something in advance so that she could be in my wedding. She didn't respond. I sent her a message later on asking if she had received my messages and she responded by answering some other questions I had asked but avoiding my wedding question altogether.
I was so hurt. I haven't discussed my relationship with my bf or my wedding plans with her since. Now, I'm not even sure that I want her at my wedding and I dont' know how I feel about our friendship anymore, either.
I want to clarify that its not that she seems to be declining the invitation to be a bridesmaid at my wedding. It is the way that she's going about it. If we are the friends we say we are then she should be able to be open and honest with me. This is the worst time she could have pulled somethiing like this.
What would you do? How would you feel?
Sorry this is so long. i'm still new to this website.
