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March 2012 Weddings
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Vent: It's friday night and I'm sitting at home....

rachel801231rachel801231
500 Comments
in March 2012 Weddings
this is a common occurance in my relationship with my FI.  I spend most weekend evenings by myself.  You would think it was because he was out with the guys, or heck, cheating on me, but no, it's because he has to take a shower and get ready for bed.  Seriously!  He's a 33 year old trapped inside a 83 year olds body.  I can understand during the weekdays that he wants to get ready for bed and relax because he does get up early for work.  But on the weekends you would think he'd want to stay up a little later and spend a little more time with me, but no.  We went to the grocery store then for our walk and I left his house by 8.  I didn't want to spend another evening by myself so I went shopping but it was crazy so I came  home so I am still by myself.  With this kind of relationship I could have another and he would never know (not that I would I love him).  Sometimes I don't even know how we are getting married when we never spend any time together.  His defense is we are getting married so we will spend more time together then and that he was just so use to being by himself for so long.  I just don't know what to do sometimes.
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Re: Vent: It's friday night and I'm sitting at home....

  • brittandjpbrittandjp member
    500 Comments
    I don't really have any advice. To be honest, I think it's really strange that you have to leave his house by 8pm on a weekend, when he doesn't work the next day. It just seems weird IMO. Do you ever spend the night or does he stay at your house? The good thing is that you won't have to deal with this too much longer since I assume you'll move in together after the wedding?! :) I hate to be pessimistic, but do you ever wonder if he is actually going out with the guys and just doesn't tell you? I know that's the last thing you want to think about, but I guess I just don't understand why you'd have to leave so early when you're marrying the man in just a few months?
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  • rachel801231rachel801231
    500 Comments
    i think i would be relieved if he was going out but he isn't.  he really does get ready forr bed.  i stay sometimes and he still has the same routine of getting ready for bed and in bed by around ten.  i blew up on him tonight and he promised me next friday we would go out ......i suppose its night like this all the time but lately  he has been slipping back in his old ways  my fi is so trusting probably more than me lol  i too think its weird that he doesn't do a lot on weekends but im the first woman in his life in a while so he slips into old habits sometimes and we definitely have good communication and we talked  about it and he is trying....i just get frustrated sometimes. 
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  • w+c3w+c3 member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Sounds like a drag! Lol but then again it sort of sounds like my life now that I moved in with FI and we've settled into a hubby and wifey pattern. But unfortunately at this point FI's boss is an ass and is making all the guys work Saturdays (or Friday nights since he switched my FI to nights this week) until January even though they bust their a** July-October during the busy season and this is supposed to be their down time. So now I'm at home by myself. And he has to do something all day tomorrow so he will be home at 5pm and crash since he won't have slept for 20 hrs so there goes my Saturday night too and then he'll start working again Sunday night.

    Getting old really slows us down and saving money for wedding stuff really cuts down on all the nice dinners :( boo!

    P.S. not going to judge your relationship...I know what its like to post out your frustrations and then give everyone the wrong impression of your relationship. Hell a couple weeks ago I had everyone thinking FI was a drunk! lol
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  • brittandjpbrittandjp member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I definitely wasn't trying to judge your relationship or be rude by any means, so I'm sorry if that's how I came off. I know I thought it sounded strange, but eh, if that's his lifestyle than so be I guess. At least you've communicated the issue with him and he's said he'll try to make some changes. I'm sure it will also be much different after you live together. AND even if it isn't (he still wants to get to bed early), at least you're going to bed with him and get to spend all of that downtime with him. :)

    ETA: It's hard to convey things, emotions, and sympathy on the internet when you don't really know the person and can't have an in the moment back and forth conversation about something. Whit, I definitely didn't think your man was a drunk. :) Remember, I supported the occasional drinking with his buddies.
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  • rachel801231rachel801231
    500 Comments
    its all good ladies i just needed to get it out of my system
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  • w+c3w+c3 member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2012-weddings_vent-its-friday-night-im-sitting-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:955e4823-0be1-44ef-9ee7-99a63794e103Discussion:45003310-8ad8-4e9a-99d6-59387543dca6Post:79bc00dd-001d-4c25-b409-656c2d95b54e">Re: Vent: It's friday night and I'm sitting at home....</a>:
    [QUOTE]I definitely wasn't trying to judge your relationship or be rude by any means, so I'm sorry if that's how I came off. I know I thought it sounded strange, but eh, if that's his lifestyle than so be I guess. At least you've communicated the issue with him and he's said he'll try to make some changes. I'm sure it will also be much different after you live together. AND even if it isn't (he still wants to get to bed early), at least you're going to bed with him and get to spend all of that downtime with him. :) ETA: It's hard to convey things, emotions, and sympathy on the internet when you don't really know the person and can't have an in the moment back and forth conversation about something. Whit, I definitely didn't think your man was a drunk. :) Remember, I supported the occasional drinking with his buddies.
    Posted by brittandjp[/QUOTE]

    Sorry Britt! Wasn't trying to attack you!! :) l was just trying to say that I wasn't going to divulge into tryin to decode her relationship based soley on this post. No hard feelings? :)
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  • brittandjpbrittandjp member
    500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2012-weddings_vent-its-friday-night-im-sitting-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:955e4823-0be1-44ef-9ee7-99a63794e103Discussion:45003310-8ad8-4e9a-99d6-59387543dca6Post:4bcbfdef-9f5f-48ce-b1e9-508f3ccc55a1">Re: Vent: It's friday night and I'm sitting at home....</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent: It's friday night and I'm sitting at home.... : Sorry Britt! Wasn't trying to attack you!! :) l was just trying to say that I wasn't going to divulge into tryin to decode her relationship based soley on this post. No hard feelings? :)
    Posted by w+c3[/QUOTE]

    Of course, friend! I seriously didn't take any offense, I just realized I better say something so the OP didn't think I was being such a b!tch. :)
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