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FI wants to walk together down the aisle..any thoughts?

Aloha everyone!  So my FI expressed his feelings very passionatley that he wants to share the moment of walking down the aisle together as we begin our journey to be joined as H & W...He says that just as i dream of that moment, he does as well for himself. He is a wonderfully sweet, outgoing, offbeat kinda guy , so I don't know why this suprises me, but I'm willing to compromise & find a happy medium so we will both be completely at ease with our ceremony. This is his 1st marriage, my 2nd, I have a 13 yr old son that I was hoping to have him give me away since my dad walked w/me at my first wedding & infact will be performing our ceremony, which is very special. Our wedding will be outside on a rooftop deck overlooking the ocean, with 80 guests.I was thinking of maybe arranging the seating somehow so that we could either meet halfway or some other way, I am so confused!! Please any suggestions/opinions? My daughter, mom & friend who know of this idea & they hate it, but I know it's up to FI & I to decide, I just want it to not turn out cheesy or somehow feel cheated out of my *bride" moment.I t's a very special thing to him as well & I Love & respect his feelings so much, but I want US to be happy with the end result HELP!!   Undecided

Re: FI wants to walk together down the aisle..any thoughts?

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    I like the idea of meeting halfway. I guess if my fi wanted to do this, I'd do it, if it meant that much to him, esp since your dad wouldn't be doing it, and, as nice as it is to have your son do it, it's not a traditional son thing, either.

    The thing I'd be sad about would be missing that moment when he "sees" me for the first time. If you do this beforehand, though, I don't see any reason not to do it. And trust me, Santa could walk you up the aisle, and all eyes will still be on YOU!
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    I would have your son as your honor attendant, and have your FI walk with you down the aisle.

    My frien'ds son did this, with a little bit of a twist so they could have the "aha!" moment that many brides hope for.

    Groom and officiant entered and stood at the altar.  The WP came in, and when they were in place, the bride came to the top of the aisle.  She and her groom got to see each other in the traditional way.  Then the groom walked up the aisle to his bride, and together they walked to the altar.

    It was very moving and the symbolism was exactly as your FI described.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    My wife and I walked down the aisle together.  Honestly, I think it is wonderful that he sees the wedding as a day for both of you, not just you.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_fi-wants-walk-together-down-aisleany-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:1aee9e25-7c24-4d37-8765-7c44b862e42ePost:0b270c9d-b888-4be9-b76d-d8eeec90d033">Re: FI wants to walk together down the aisle..any thoughts?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would have your son as your honor attendant, and have your FI walk with you down the aisle. My frien'ds son did this, with a little bit of a twist so they could have the "aha!" moment that many brides hope for. Groom and officiant entered and stood at the altar.  The WP came in, and when they were in place, the bride came to the top of the aisle.  <strong>She and her groom got to see each other in the traditional way.  Then the groom walked up the aisle to his bride, and together they walked to the altar.</strong> It was very moving and the symbolism was exactly as your FI described.
    Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]

    <div>I LOVE that idea for a groom who wants to escort his bride. How special.</div>
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    When I was planning my wedding, my friend gave me a site that was so helpful. It had just about everything but the tux and dress in there. Hopefully this will be helpful for someone on here too.http://www.theweddingstyle.com/beach-wedding-dresses-c-30.html
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    We are walking down the aisle together.  It was the only thing that made sense.  We are going into this commitment together, as equals.  Of course we should approach it as a unit.  I think the idea of having your son 'give you away' is sweet, sort of (kind of makes me think of the vast expanse of history where a woman in a family was subordinate to every male, including adolescents, but then again I am not a fan of the father giving away thing, which many women are fine with ... but I digress), but really it's not a ceremony about him.  It's about you and your partner...
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    Talk to your son and see what he thinks. If he really wants the honor of giving his mother away, let him have it, at least part of the way. I like the idea of him walking you half way and your FI walking towards you and meeting in the middle. Then you and your FI could walk the rest of the way together with your son following you up to his seat.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
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    I'd either walk down the aisle with him or meet halfway as you proposed. Honestly, I think it's pretty weird to walk down the aisle with your son anyway, especially since you have a daughter too -- what a slap in the face to her. Your son and daughter can still both walk down the aisle as part of the processional before you.
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      Thanks for all the suggestions! Having my son as an escort was just a thought, I'm not stuck on it ,but the reason I considered my son is because he has been the "little man" in the house since my divorce from his dad who was very abusive & my son feels VERY protective of me because of that , & during a conversation my FI asked my son how he felt about the idea of us getting married, my son agreed & said " because I know you'd never hurt her" That was HUGE!!, considering all we've been through, he distrusts ALL men when it involves his mom/sisters, so in a way, it's like he's giving me away by giving full trust to this man who means so much to me & has proved himself to my son, so I will involve him in some way. BTW my oldest daughter is my MOH & my younger one is a BM so all my kids will be a part of the WP. I agree with the thought of beginning our marriage on equal ground by walking together, as far as the "give away" thing, I see it as men honoring & protecting women as precious, not somehow being above/owning her. Sadly, society has misconstrued this concept to be demeaning. Men throughout history have taken advantage & twisted the meaning of male/female  roles, so now we are ultra sensitive to it, including me!! Thankfully, I found a man who treats me even above himself, though I don't walk all over him like some women might & we have an equally respectful relationship. Sorry for the novel guys..Love the ideas & will consider all your thoughts!  Thanks again!!!Smile
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_fi-wants-walk-together-down-aisleany-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:1aee9e25-7c24-4d37-8765-7c44b862e42ePost:a96020d5-8ba2-426b-97ba-d4dcad45a030">Re: FI wants to walk together down the aisle..any thoughts?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are walking down the aisle together.  It was the only thing that made sense.  We are going into this commitment together, as equals.  Of course we should approach it as a unit.  I think the idea of having your son 'give you away' is sweet, sort of (kind of makes me think of the vast expanse of history where a woman in a family was subordinate to every male, including adolescents, but then again I am not a fan of the father giving away thing, which many women are fine with ... but I digress), but really it's not a ceremony about him.  It's about you and your partner...
    Posted by sjnsjnsjn[/QUOTE]


    this is exactly what I would say too..

    I would also add, that FI and I will be starting on opposite sides of the ceremony site. So like, I'm coming from the right hand side and he's coming from the left-hand side. We will still get to have that first awesome moment of seeing each other, will walk towards each other until we meet at the aisle and walk down the aisle together. does that make sense?
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_fi-wants-walk-together-down-aisleany-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:1aee9e25-7c24-4d37-8765-7c44b862e42ePost:2463990c-a8a5-4bce-8e90-8079c2411425">Re: FI wants to walk together down the aisle..any thoughts?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: FI wants to walk together down the aisle..any thoughts? : this is exactly what I would say too.. I would also add, that FI and I will be starting on opposite sides of the ceremony site. So like, I'm coming from the right hand side and he's coming from the left-hand side. We will still get to have that first awesome moment of seeing each other, will walk towards each other until we meet at the aisle and walk down the aisle together. does that make sense?
    Posted by desert*bride[/QUOTE]
     I really like that idea! thank you!! I asked my daughter her opinion & she thinks people will have to choose who to look at when we walked toward eachother as you said. I disagreed with her , I think people will mostly be watching the BRIDE & our moment of meeting up together, what do you think?
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      I'm probably the only one, but I want that walking down the aisle to be by myself, to me in symbolizes my last walk as a single woman. Then we get married, and we walk together back down the aisle, as we will walk together for the rest of our lives.
      If its not important to you, then go for it. I don't think you should walk from different directions at the same time, it will be confusing for your guests and it will force them to choose which one to watch. If he insists on walking up, why doesn't he just lead the bridal party and walk up first?
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    Cleo7Cleo7 member
    First Anniversary First Comment

    My FI and I are walking down the aisle together.  Partly because of the symbolism (I'm not being given to him nor him to me, it's a union we are entering together as equals), partly because of logistics - we're doing our pics beforehand, and our guests will be arriving at our venue while we're at our photo location. 

    We are doing a "first look" photo though, which to me is SO much more personal and intimate, because only bridal party (my sisters and his brother) and our parents and grandparents will be there with us at that time.

    Have you looked into having a family unity candle, a salt ceremony or otherwise incorporating/honoring your son in the ceremony?

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