How do I do this?

jamie5482

So long story short, my mom has dementia and will not be at my wedding. My dad has a girlfriend who I'm assuming he's planning to bring - and I wouldn't exclude her because even though the entire situation is sad and bizarre she's actually very kind and has been very caring towards my mom. I don't know what to do - I am planning to include my mom's name in the invitations with my dad but I don't know if that makes sense. I know people may assume that my dad's girlfriend is my mom so I'm not sure how to address that (if at all). I want to figure out some way to acknowledge my mom without making it seem like she's dead. I just feel so mixed up about the whole thing, help!

jacquiroxx

Together with their families,
bride & groom
etc. etc. etc.

Both of my parents are remarried and I was NOT about to make myself crazy trying to figure out how to make everyone happy.  That might be the best option for you as well

BMcLeodTeam

Agreed, that might be the easiest way in the invitations, and is actually a really popular wording now

jamie5482

I like that idea but FI wants it to be separated out! I think he's secretly trying to drive me crazy, haha. Maybe we'll talk about it again because I really can't think of a better way to deal with it. 

I'm wondering what the best way to acknowledge my mom's importance in some way. I know people typically do things for loved ones who have passed away so I haven't figured out a way to do that nicely. 

smartlypretty

Well, who's paying for the wedding? That person/those people are the hosts, and would be listed there. For a list of parents' names, that goes in your ceremony program.

jamie5482

Both sets of parents are paying. Maybe I'm overthinking this whole thing; I wish I didn't have such anxiety/ sadness about it (though I imagine that's normal). 

smartlypretty

Hmm yeah this is a sticky situation especially with the girlfriend added in. I feel for you. In this case I guess i would do: Mr. and Mrs. John smith Mr. and Mrs. Bob jones Request the blah blah blah I guess it's just a little weird with the girlfriend in the mix.

jessa1228

If your FI really wants it separated out, then I think it should be this:

Mr. and Ms. Dad & Girlfriend

Ms. Mom

Mr. and Mrs. FI's parents

I agree with Jacqui though, I really think "together with their families" would work best in this situation.

morenachica110

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_how-do-i-do-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:146eaf4c-3dfa-45e2-9442-722ff37d0fa2Post:6073155e-0305-4057-9906-875fc9fab3db">Re: How do I do this?</a>:
[QUOTE]Together with their families, bride & groom etc. etc. etc. Both of my parents are remarried and I was NOT about to make myself crazy trying to figure out how to make everyone happy.  That might be the best option for you as well :)
Posted by jacquiroxx[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree. It's what we're using. My parent sboth remarried, my dad is paying for most of it, my mom bought my dress, FI and I are paying for a nice chunk, FILs are doing the rehersal dinner... may get divorced.... ugh. So... I asked my dad if he would be offended. He said no, it's probably easiest. And that's what we're doing. =)</div>