Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Ceremony with a terminally I'll parent

My dad is terminally ill with ALS (Lou gerigs). With this illness my dad is all there mentally but not physically. Currently he is pretty much bed ridden, can walk for short periods infrequently, can talk but it is hard to hear him. I want my dad to give me away, want him to be there so I decided to have two weddings. One smaller intimate wedding at his house with close family, and another "bigger" wedding for lack of better words with other family and friends. 1) has anyone or anyone you know done something like this and have ideas to share. 2) if I have two weddings, which one is official? Any experience you all have on a situation like this I would really appreciate your words of wisdom! Tryin to keep smilin!

Re: Ceremony with a terminally I'll parent

  • edited December 2010
    I'll list 2 points that speak to the 2nd question.  

    A- You can only have 1 wedding to the same person, unless you get divorced in between the two ceremonies.  So, the FIRST one would be official.

    B- If you have another wedding type event (a "bigger wedding" as you call it) ... it's not a second wedding.  It is a vow renewal.  It's fine to have a vow renewal within a short period of time after the ceremony especially when most of your guests would understand why the wedding ceremony had to be so rushed.

    And your first question...
    Something you might try, since you have the "dad is terminally ill" circumstance that most PP's on the boards don't... is instead of having a second ceremony, why don't you play a video of the ceremony you had with your dad?  It might be a special way to include your dad.  Wear a nice dress, you could do white (but I would keep it simple), and have the big party if you want to... but you can find a way to keep from having 2 weddings, because in reality, your anniversary and your legal wedding date will be the first one.  
    July 16, Our Wedding Day, is also International Juggling Day!
  • I'm sorry for your dad's illness.  ALS is a vicious disease.

    I think you're in a perfect position to have a very small ceremony, like you want at home, and then have a larger reception immediately following.

    But as PP said:  you don't actually get to do two ceremonies, because your first ceremony IS your wedding.  They're aren't do-overs.

    So plan your beautiful ceremony, and then hold your reception with the rest of friends and family.  Your guests will certainly understand the reason for the small family only ceremony, and then you can enjoy the party afterward.

    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • Ditto trix.

    And I am sorry to hear about your Dad. That is such an awful disease.
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