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Ceremony in the morning, vow renewal in the afternoon?

The venue we are looking at (it's a nice building in our budget, but it's at the fairgrounds...) is miles away from the chapel we really want, and the place we want to have the reception, but, is too expensive. I was planning at atleast taking pictures there (here's some pictures of it- it's got beautiful grounds and the building is cool)

The chapel we want is just a chapel, and so you can't have your reception there. Ideally, I'd like to have the ceremony there and the reception close by, but I haven't been able to figure out how to make it work, so if we go with the fairgrounds, we'll do everything there.

I was doing some thinking today, and the fairgrounds venue we are looking at doesn't really have a nice area for photos. I figured we could do the photos at the place we want to have the reception at before the ceremony at the fairgrounds. I don't like looking at bridal pictures and seeing the groom without his ring on. I'd like my FI to be wearing his ring for our pictures, and knowing we were married.

So, I was thinking maybe I could surprise him and have an intimate ceremony that morning, because I know that's what he really wants. We could rent the chapel we really want and do a ceremony with just our immediate family, then go take all the pictures, and then in the afternoon have a vow renewal or something for our guests. I don't want to have the ceremony at the fairgrounds, and then have a cocktail hour just to drive across the city and take pictures. I'm not planning on a cocktail hour.

Does that sound like something that can be done?

(I hope this question makes sense... sorry if it doesn't!)

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Re: Ceremony in the morning, vow renewal in the afternoon?

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_ceremony-morning-vow-renewal-afternoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:1b97d3c5-b787-4d15-8325-ffff047b0377Post:2e0fb646-7737-4ef8-a9ff-b54995f4f90b">Ceremony in the morning, vow renewal in the afternoon?</a>:
    [QUOTE]The venue we are looking at (it's a nice building in our budget, but it's at the fairgrounds...) is miles away from the chapel we really want, and the place we want to have the reception, but, is too expensive. I was planning at atleast taking pictures there ( here's some pictures of it - it's got beautiful grounds and the building is cool) The chapel we want is just a chapel, and so you can't have your reception there. Ideally, I'd like to have the ceremony there and the reception close by, but I haven't been able to figure out how to make it work, so if we go with the fairgrounds, we'll do everything there. I was doing some thinking today, and the fairgrounds venue we are looking at doesn't really have a nice area for photos. I figured we could do the photos at the place we want to have the reception at before the ceremony at the fairgrounds. I don't like looking at bridal pictures and seeing the groom without his ring on. I'd like my FI to be wearing his ring for our pictures, and knowing we were married. So, I was thinking maybe I could surprise him and have an intimate ceremony that morning, because I know that's what he really wants. We could rent the chapel we really want and do a ceremony with just our immediate family, then go take all the pictures, and then in the afternoon have a vow renewal or something for our guests. I don't want to have the ceremony at the fairgrounds, and then have a cocktail hour just to drive across the city and take pictures. I'm not planning on a cocktail hour. Does that sound like something that can be done? (I hope this question makes sense... sorry if it doesn't!)
    Posted by shortgrass03[/QUOTE]

    Just to clarify: You want to have two ceremonies basically, on the same day, so you can have it somewhere that you both like the first time and not so much the second time? Just personally......seems like a little overkill to me. I think you'd be exhausted and the second ceremony/vow renewal thing wouldn't be meaningful to you guys -- it would just be a show for the guests that weren't immediate family, or so it seems to me.

    I mean, it CAN be done, to answer your question. But I don't see the necessity. I also find it odd that you'd have a vow renewal several hours after your actual ceremony, just logistically. Renewals are usually done after you've been married for a while and are more meaningful than just a show for your guests..
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    tldhtldh member
    First Comment
    edited November 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_ceremony-morning-vow-renewal-afternoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:1b97d3c5-b787-4d15-8325-ffff047b0377Post:2e0fb646-7737-4ef8-a9ff-b54995f4f90b">Ceremony in the morning, vow renewal in the afternoon?</a>:
    [QUOTE]The venue we are looking at (it's a nice building in our budget, but it's at the fairgrounds...) is miles away from the chapel we really want, and the place we want to have the reception, but, is too expensive. I was planning at atleast taking pictures there ( here's some pictures of it - it's got beautiful grounds and the building is cool) The chapel we want is just a chapel, and so you can't have your reception there. Ideally, I'd like to have the ceremony there and the reception close by, but I haven't been able to figure out how to make it work, so if we go with the fairgrounds, we'll do everything there. I was doing some thinking today, and the fairgrounds venue we are looking at doesn't really have a nice area for photos. I figured we could do the photos at the place we want to have the reception at before the ceremony at the fairgrounds. I don't like looking at bridal pictures and seeing the groom without his ring on. <strong>I'd like my FI to be wearing his ring for our pictures, and knowing we were married. So, I was thinking maybe I could surprise him and have an intimate ceremony that morning, because I know that's what he really wants. </strong>We could rent the chapel we really want and do a ceremony with just our immediate family, then go take all the pictures, and then in the afternoon have a vow renewal or something for our guests. I don't want to have the ceremony at the fairgrounds, and then have a cocktail hour just to drive across the city and take pictures. I'm not planning on a cocktail hour. Does that sound like something that can be done? (I hope this question makes sense... sorry if it doesn't!)
    Posted by shortgrass03[/QUOTE]

    Even if this <em>is </em>what he really wants, he should still be in on the decision.  I would have been P.O.'d beyond belief if DH had surprised me with something like this and I wouldn't have gone through with it.  I'd have insisted we stick to what we planned together and the day would not have been a good one.

    Also, it's fine to have an intimate ceremony with immediate family only and then follow with a large reception.  To do this though simply for the sake of how your photographs will look  I think is pretty rude.  To add your "vow renewal" just hours after you've been married is just worse.  You do this type of thing after you've been married for years.  In your case, it will be for show, not a meaningful reason.
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    Could you take your pics before the ceremony & then add a few close-ups of your hands/rings right after?  I would say either do that or have the cocktail hour for your guests while you're getting your pics.
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    IMO, nothing about a wedding should be a surprise. Let your FI in on what you're doing and see what he thinks.
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    Sorry, but this is just a goofy idea.  You're planning a "vow renewal" after a couple of HOURS of being married?  Because you want nice photos?  Because you don't want your FI wearing a wedding ring in photos?

    Your priorities are way, way, way out of whack!  Way out there.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    megk8ozmegk8oz member
    First Comment
    edited November 2010
    First, do not, do not, do not "surprise" your groom with where you're "really" getting married. Honestly, I would tell anybody that got ambushed with a "surprise ceremony" (Even one taking place the day the couple was planning to wed) to just run and never look back.

    Second, there is absolutely nothing about this plan that makes sense otherwise. I could understand 2 ceremonies in one day when there is some sort of religious reason behind it (Like if you were doing one ceremony for his western Catholic family and another for your Indian family or something) ... but just for the sake of pictures with his ring on? A minor detail that can't even be seen in most photos? Really? That's just absurdly silly and unnecessary.

    It's not even a vow renewal at that point-it's more like "We're having the real ceremony and then putting on a show for everybody else". Vow renewals are something couples do after several years of marriage, not just a few hours.

    Unless these 2 places are distanced by an hour+ drive, I really don't see why you can't just get married (In front of everybody) at the chapel, do your pictures there (Host a simple cocktail hour for your guests at the reception site during this time), and then move on over to the fair grounds for your reception. It sounds like these places are just on 2 different sides of town, so why elevate this scenario to rigamarole status when there's a very clear and simple way of dealing with it?

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
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    Ok I'm not sure I completely understand...What's wrong with doing a ceremony that's not close to the reception?  A lot of guests (at least in my huge family) don't always attend the ceremony and only go to the reception.  Why can't you just have your ceremony where you want?  Is it a size problem?

    As for the pictures, your wedding day involves 3 parts:
    1- Before you get married
    2- While you're getting married
    3- After you are married

    Why wouldn't you want to document the WHOLE day?  Honestly you really look at wedding pictures before the ceremony and get offended if you don't see a wedding band on the groom?  A little much don't you think?  Unless it's a close-up of his hand, I don't even notice the bands.
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    aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited November 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_ceremony-morning-vow-renewal-afternoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:1b97d3c5-b787-4d15-8325-ffff047b0377Post:2e0fb646-7737-4ef8-a9ff-b54995f4f90b">Ceremony in the morning, vow renewal in the afternoon?</a>:
    [QUOTE]The venue we are looking at (it's a nice building in our budget, but it's at the fairgrounds...) is miles away from the chapel we really want, and the place we want to have the reception, but, is too expensive. I was planning at atleast taking pictures there ( here's some pictures of it - it's got beautiful grounds and the building is cool) The chapel we want is just a chapel, and so you can't have your reception there. Ideally, I'd like to have the ceremony there and the reception close by, but I haven't been able to figure out how to make it work, so if we go with the fairgrounds, we'll do everything there. I was doing some thinking today, and the fairgrounds venue we are looking at doesn't really have a nice area for photos. I figured we could do the photos at the place we want to have the reception at before the ceremony at the fairgrounds.<strong> I don't like looking at bridal pictures and seeing the groom without his ring on. I'd like my FI to be wearing his ring for our pictures, and knowing we were married. </strong>So, I was thinking maybe I could surprise him and have an intimate ceremony that morning, because I know that's what he really wants. We could rent the chapel we really want and do a ceremony with just our immediate family, then go take all the pictures, and then in the afternoon have a vow renewal or something for our guests. I don't want to have the ceremony at the fairgrounds, and then have a cocktail hour just to drive across the city and take pictures. I'm not planning on a cocktail hour. Does that sound like something that can be done? (I hope this question makes sense... sorry if it doesn't!)
    Posted by shortgrass03[/QUOTE]
    Sorry, but this is insane.  Take a look through my bio.  Can you tell whether or not anyone, bride, groom, or WP, are wearing rings?  I sure as hell can't.  Just pick up a cheap wedding ring at a pawn shop that the poor guy can wear at for pre-ceremony photos if it will ease your psychosis.  Or just tell the photographer that you don't want to be able to see your hands in any of the close-ups.  Jumping through all of these ridiculous hoops and lying to everyone, including your HUSBAND, for the sake of a nearly invisible detail is just unfathomable to me.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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    I say have the intimate ceremony in the location YOU and FI want.  Then during the reception, play a video of the ceremony for those who didnt come.  As long as you keep it truly Intimate family at the ceremony no one should be offended.  That way all can see.
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    I got lost in the details of your plan, but on the whole, it makes NO sense. To go through such contortions just so your FH has a ring on his finger -- which you won't be able to see in 99% of the photos -- is ridiculous.
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    Two ceremonies in one day is a bit much to ask of your family, I mean, I find weddings of loved ones very sweet but I wouldn't go back and play back the video later that day. In the same way, I wouldn't want to sit through the ceremony again, mere hours later. If I found out someone made me do that JUST so they would be officially married in the photos, I would be a little POed.

    Here are some viable options:
    1. If him wearing his ring matters that much to you, maybe he could wear his ring a couple of hours before you're married.
    2. Get married in the morning/afternoon and take pic at this place afterwards
    3. Have a cocktail hour (since your photo place is close by) and take pics for half an hour to an hour.
    4. Take a bunch of photos at the chapel, that's where you're getting married, the photo site doesn't have sentimental value, it's just pretty.
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    Is this real?  If it is, it's crazy.
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_ceremony-morning-vow-renewal-afternoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:1b97d3c5-b787-4d15-8325-ffff047b0377Post:82e4d88b-c9da-4952-b093-1becacf441a4">Re: Ceremony in the morning, vow renewal in the afternoon?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I got lost in the details of your plan, but on the whole, it makes NO sense. To go through such contortions just so your FH has a ring on his finger -- which you won't be able to see in 99% of the photos -- is ridiculous.
    Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]
    Word.  You can't see EITHER of our rings in our photos from the ceremony.  I know because I couldn't remember whether I wore a ring in addition to my engagement ring during the ceremony, so I went through them to look, and we were too far away to be able to tell.<div>
    </div><div>After the ceremony, your photog can take some close-ups of your hands with the rings on them, which is what most people do if they want photos with the rings in them.  </div>
    Courtesy of megk8oz
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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    No sense at all. A vow renewal? 12 hours after your ceremony? That's just plain odd.. and meaningless. 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_ceremony-morning-vow-renewal-afternoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:1b97d3c5-b787-4d15-8325-ffff047b0377Post:82e4d88b-c9da-4952-b093-1becacf441a4">Re: Ceremony in the morning, vow renewal in the afternoon?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I got lost in the details of your plan, but on the whole, it makes NO sense. To go through such contortions just so your FH has a ring on his finger -- which you won't be able to see in 99% of the photos -- is ridiculous.
    Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]

    I used up too much energy trying to understand OP, so just pretend I wrote this.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_ceremony-morning-vow-renewal-afternoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:1b97d3c5-b787-4d15-8325-ffff047b0377Post:9badfd4a-ada0-45ee-b48a-0ff1b5620414">Re: Ceremony in the morning, vow renewal in the afternoon?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I cannot understand why you wont have your ceremony at the chapel and your reception at the fairgrounds, since according to your post, that seems to all be within your budget?  Why not have your wedding day something like this? Ceremony at the chapel with family/friends/guests (say 2 pm) Take pictures wherever you want (say 2:30 - 4:30 pm) Arrive at reception at fairgrounds at appointed time ( say 5 pm) Have a good time! A cousin of mine had a intimate ceremony with close family/friends then a blow-out of a reception a couple hours later in a hotel ballroom with tons of people.  We all had a fabulous time and no one was upset about only being at the reception versus ceremony and reception.  The only reason someone should opt for a "vow renewal" so soon after an actual wedding is if they have family spread out or they are traveling.  For instance - a couple gets married in the US, then fly over to Europe for their honeymoon and to see the bride or grooms family - <strong>have another ceremony there for that side of family to see them getting married.</strong> Good Luck and Happy Planning!
    Posted by AbbeyS2011[/QUOTE]

    But they won't "see them getting married".  That happened when they, you know....got married.  What they'll be seeing is a theatrical recreation of when they got married.  And that's not a wedding.  It's a matinee.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    way too comlicated.

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    lol what the hell? What a crazy idea. Why do you feel the need to be so different?
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    The absurdity of this "plan"--if this is actually real--is mind-boggling. Also, your priorities seem to be seriously out of whack. The point of getting married is to...get married. To plan your day around taking pictures--after ambushing your FI with a surprise ceremony--is seriously self-involved. No one will notice rings/lack of rings in your photographs. And, as a guest, I would not appreciate your sham ceremony (what you call a "vow renewal") the least bit.
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    It's time to shut this all down.  OP had posted this also on her Wedding Month board (April 2011) and has finally agreed with the advice given and is giving up on the absurd idea.  Let's shut this thread down too.

    http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2011-weddings_ceremony-morning-vow-renewal-afternoon_.0
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    aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited November 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_ceremony-morning-vow-renewal-afternoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:1b97d3c5-b787-4d15-8325-ffff047b0377Post:cec7a6b8-d9be-40f1-b8b6-ce4d34118039">Re: Ceremony in the morning, vow renewal in the afternoon?</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's time to shut this all down.  OP had posted this also on her Wedding Month board (April 2011) and has finally agreed with the advice given and is giving up on the absurd idea.  Let's shut this thread down too. <a rel="nofollow" href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2011-weddings_ceremony-morning-vow-renewal-afternoon_.0">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2011-weddings_ceremony-morning-vow-renewal-afternoon_.0</a>
    Posted by naomikb[/QUOTE]
    Or you could let OP come back and fight her own battles, and not respond to the thread anymore, thereby letting it drop off the front page and die like every other thread does...
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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    I love it when people rush to their locals for validation of objectively bad ideas.  I wonder if they do the equivalent when they get bad news in real life...
    Courtesy of megk8oz
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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