WR: Cash for drinks at RD: Tacky or no?

dreamalotmp

I was bored and was checking out the P&E board 'cause they are always good for some form of amusement. While there, I saw this question posed and thought I'd pose it here for a fun debate. Do you think that having people pay for their own drinks at your RD is tacky or no? For the record, I'm tacky. Our guests paid for their drinks. I was poor by then from all of the other wedding expenses. Oops. Invalid wedding. :P

npales

I can't afford an open bar and the RD venue discouraged it. I am providing wine service with dinner for free. If any guests need a different alcoholic beverage, then they must pay for it themselves.

Brianne R

My MIL and FIL were nice enough to pay for our Rehearsal dinner and they paid for all the drinks too. I happen to look over when the bill came, and caught a glimpse of her face. I suspect it was far more than she had planned on and I felt terrible about that. BUT that's what happens when you tell 6 of DH's friends there is an open bar. I think the best way to do this would to buy one or two for everyone then tell them they are own their own.

KimWard

Not tacky at all, IMO. We didn't have any alcohol at our RD- it only included pop, coffee/tea, and iced tea. I didn't see anyone order a drink, so I suppose it was fine with everyone. Definitely not necessary IMO- you'll be drinking enough the next day anyway. :-P

e8jackson6

We were going to do cash bar, but as a gift to us my sister, brother and their SO's paid to do a wine and beer bar.  But no, I don't think it's tacky at all.

McBridetobe

We had wine and beer only and the ILs wanted to keep it to 2 per person.  They actually wanted to do drink tickets (but DH and I felt that was tacky so we just told our friends there was a 2 drink limit...many of the other people there didn't drink anyway, so it wasn't an issue.  Plus we went out with our friends for drinks after, so it all worked out. 

brivb10

Our RD is catered into our church reception hall (most use if for weddings, but we are just using for RD), so we are providing wine and beer plus soda, etc for our guest list of approx 35.  I don't think a cash bar is tacky at a RD, we were just fortunate enough to be able to buy our own, so we are providing. 

themissizz

I don't think it's tacky at all.  I wouldn't be offended if I went to a RD and alcoholic drinks weren't included.  My parents paid for our rehearsal dinner and didn't give anyone a drink limit, but I don't think anyone ordered more than one drink, and most didn't order any.   N- I think giving them wine is more than generous.

kwynn

Our RD included soda, iced tea, etc. We weren't offering alcohol, so we didn't feel the need to pay for it. Anything that was on the menu, we paid for though.One or two of my friends went to a bar in another room, got a drink, and brought it back with them. Because the bar was in another room, everyone understood that it wasn't something we were paying for as hosts/hostesses. I think one or two people ordered table side and requested a drink that was not on the menu. We took care of those rather than say anything. I think it would be tacky to have drink menus on the table but then give people bills. But if people order it for themselves, then it isn't tacky to expect them to pay.

marburs

I agree with most of you on this.  Its not tacky.  People are going to have enough free booze the next day- theres no need to have an open bar at the RD as well

asochats

I think it's better to pay for everything RD-related.  We offered all drinks for the RD and then beer and wine for the out-of-town get together directly after the RD.

dicer2

We were lucky that MIL paid for all of our drinks.  She gave the manager a $ limit and they were to let her know when we were reaching that limit, and she'd decide whether halt the open bar at that time.  We didn't come close because most people only had one or two drinks.  I definitely don't think it's tacky to not have an open bar!

elishanb

I don't think it's tacky at all. And I've seen my fair share of tacky. (Crazy mom thinks it's ok to have people pay for their own meals at the wedding.) my future in-laws are paying for the rehearsal dinner and they paid for my FI's brother's too and they had an open bar and told us we are welcome to do the same. But we haven't decided if that's what we're going to do.

cobrien1976

I am so glad that this was posted.  FMIL and I have been bumping heads about RD for about 3 weeks now.  Long story short, she had several choices in where to have the RD at, all ranging in prices.  I wanted San Remo's Pizza and Beer (Jbean knows what I'm talkin' about - GREAT PIZZA) relaxed atmosphere, etc and cheap!  She wanted sit down with choices, etc. etc..  She chose to have it at the Wyhdham Garden where our hotel block is.  The price is more than what she expected without alcohol and doesn't know what to do about the alcohol.  My suggestion to her was not to have alcohol at all, and if people chose to drink, the could go to the bar and pay for it themselves.  My family and my BM's are not big drinkers (except for my PITA FSIL, but she's preggers)!  Only about 6 people from our RD list are drinkers so, why not just pay per drink or have them pay for it themselves.  Makes sense right?I get an email almost daily about what she should do!!  GRR...Last emails was that she was paying $20.00 per person for 6 drinks of their choice..umm lady that is $660.00, are you OUT OF YOUR MIND???Sorry for the wall of text and the slight vent, but the responses were very helpful!  Thx. 

skybluejen

I don't think its tacky. I wouldn't care if I went to a RD and had to pay for my own alcohol.  My ILs paid for our RD and we had a beer and wine bar.  Almost everyone drank at least a glass of wine so I'm glad we offered it, but it certainly isn't necessary!

morganphd

My MIL insisted on open bar at the RD, at the Hard Rock.  Then, she had nerve enough to complain to us that the bill was too high.  Sorry lady, that's your problem, not ours.  DH and I didn't even want alcohol at the RD.  We figured if somebody really wanted it, they could buy it themselves. (BTW, the people that put a hurting on the alcohol at the RD were from her side of the family.  Not my family and friends!)

JennyBee1018

I had a cash bar at my RD. My ILs paid for the rehearsal dinner, but they left it up to us about drinks. It might be tacky, but I did it. Mainly because I figured we were paying for all their drinks and dinner the next day, and no one needs to get wasted at the RD. My sister and I disagreed on this one, but I am glad I went that route, and everyone seemed fine with it.