ugh MOH

AngB1230

my MOH is my sister, who lives in NC ...i have asked her several times when she is getting the fittings done...she told me in a couple of weeks when her boyfriend comes down because she is scared of driving on busy roads (wtf?! really?) her boyfriend has been down there since the 9th and still no fittings! She also keeps telling me i better be happy because of all the bullshit she is going to have to deal with (our mother)and how much money she has to spend to come up to PA ( i dont think she is really bitching but not sure why she is saying this) i told her if she wasnt sure that i could just make her a guest so she wouldnt have to deal with all this pressure and money issues...she said no way she will try to make it.....ugh....i also asked her if my nieces and nephew would like to pass out programs and such...she said she would ask them ...never heard back from her about it ..asked her again and she said no i cant afford their costumes...you know i wouldve offered to pay for the costumes but at this point i dont care...so i asked some one else kids if they could do it....i thought the whole wedding planning would have more involvement from the wedding party but no it feels like the only person doing anything is ME!  i am planning on making the girls special hangers and some other things but at this point i dont know....what the hell is going to happen if she cant make it?? should i ask some one to prepare to step in? I would switch her from MOH if she dont make it and make my friend JB the MOH which i think she should be anyways...she has been the only one here for me so far. FH said i need to get on her ass...but it dont work that way.....

volleygurl0306

I'm sorry your sister is being so difficult.  I'd probably be pretty frustrated if my sibling insisted on being in the wedding, knowing that it could be a financial deal breaker for coming at all!  I wouldn't push the fitting just because if she ends up not getting the dress maybe it'll all feel more affordable to her and she'll at least attend and share your day with you.  I wouldn't go promoting/demoting BM and MOHs though.  If you have other BMs it appears like they are on some sort of reward system.  And, just rationally speaking it is unlikely that anyone can expect that each of the BM can contribute the same amount because everyone has different life demands.  I think it is okay to get JB something special that you give to her on the side as a special thanks or even just to treat her to lunch and tell her how much you really appreciate her support and help. I know it must be frustrating because you expected more from your sister but I'd just leave her be and she'll make a decision that is best for her.  She may be embarrassed to pull herself out of the wedding over money too so just let it happen naturally.

mamameech

Your MOH shouldn't be causing you more stress - she should be helping you alleviate it! It doesn't seem like you're being too needy or demanding either; she just doesn't seem very interested right now, which is really sad for you
My sis is my MOH and I'm so lucky I don't have to deal with this. We don't live in the same city but she's been more than helpful.

AngB1230

your right i should just let her do her thing...but i need to plan for my wedding....what if she doesnt show? I would be short one 1maid throwing the wedding party off  ..i dont know how to handle that part

mamameech

I personally think that if you feel the need to have a replacement "just in case", you have the wrong MOH. Wow I sound like a complete beotch... lol

volleygurl0306

Being one maid off is totally doable.  Do you have just one best man?  Maybe let me walk alone directly after FI?  Or is FI isn't processing in and just standing at the front, have his BM stand with him (he probably would prefer to have his buddy there instead of standing alone when he'll probably be most nervous).  The ladies here can figure out those details for you...you worry about the relationship aspect of it :-)  Also, she should RSVP as any guest would where you have a few weeks to figure it out.  If she bailed last minute and I were you, I'd go ape-sh*t on her!  That's me though haha

moonlightstar74

I don't have the same issues that you have with your sister...but...I have the kids of both my brother and sister in my wedding party...so since my sister had 2 kids to dress up I told her that I will take care of the suit rental of her son. He just needs his undies and I will have everything else.....well, the flowers girl stuff was about $175.00 all together. My sister told me that she will take care of the $75.00 rental for her son and that dressing both kids should be considered my wedding gift...I was upset. What should be a great day with her daughter trying on princess dresses turn out to be a freaking money thing....my sister is the one making the big $$$$$ and she is complaining! I never thought she could be that cheap...I made my peace with it since getting married is not about me getting gifts..it is to celebrate my getting married to the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.