Can you review my Invite wording?

adebord14

Here's what I am planning for the invite wording.  Can you take a look and let me know if there are any errors or suggestions for change?  I'm hoping to order them this week - Thanks!!

It is our moment to celebrate the love that unites us
Together with our familes we,
Amy Middle LastName
and
Daniel Middle LastName
joyfully invite you to share in our happiness as we unite in marriage
on Saturday, the twenty-sixth of June, two thousand ten
at five o'clock in the evening
La Canada Flintridge Country Club
5500 Godbey Drive, La Canada Flintridge, California
Valet parking is complimentary, Reception immediately following

durga826

It's lovely!
I don't think you need include the part about parking on the invitation, though.

On my invitation, I put the year two thousand ten on the line below the date - I didn't like all the commas on the same line - but that's just me! 

Good luck!
Jenn

squirrly

Invitations should always be written in the third person.  And, I really am not a fan of fluffy phrases on invitations - they're already so wordy!  The valet parking thing doesn't belong, so I took that out and re-worded for third person.  I would also delete the stuff in red if it were me.  And I changed some of your line breaks to help it flow a little better.

It is their moment to celebrate the love that unites them
Together with their familes,
Amy Middle LastName
and
Daniel Middle LastName
joyfully invite you to share in their happiness
as they unite in marriage
on Saturday, the twenty-sixth of June,
two thousand ten
at five o'clock in the afternoon

La Canada Flintridge Country Club
5500 Godbey Drive
La Canada Flintridge, California

Reception immediately following

heizer10910

i think the parking line should go - maybe put that on an enclosure.  there is a lot to take in on an invite and you certainly want them to focus on other things.

sweetviolet

I would go with Squirrly's version - the second half of your wording looks like a wall of text, and the way Squirrly's is laid out conveys the same information but is easier to read. I'm ok with some fluffiness though, and I think your fluff is fine - not too over the top. If you're concerned about people not knowing it they have to tip or pay for parking, I'd include something on your wedding website (if you have one), and/or let people know through word of mouth.