Invite Proofing Please Help!

jennc82512

I am pretty clueless about invites so any help is great!  Just a few background notes, we are not having a church wedding but are still having a formal wedding.  WE as well as both sets of parents are hosting.

Invitiation:

Together with our parents
Mr. & Mrs. Brides Parents
and
Mr. & Mrs. Grooms Parents
we,
Jennifer Ellen
and
Stephen Robert
Request the pleasure of your company
at their wedding
on Saturday, the twenty-fifth of August
at half past six in the evening
The English Manor
One English Lane
Ocean, NJ

Reception to immediately follow

Accommodations Card

Guest rooms have been reserved at
the Sheraton Eatontow hotel
at a special rate of $179.99
Please Call 1-800-000-0000 to reserve
mention the Bride/Groom wedding when booking

RSVP Card

Please respond on or before (date) - How far ahead of wedding should this be?
M______________________
___ of ___ accepts with pleasure ( i added the extra line b/c we have alot of singles who we are not adding guests to so we want to be positive they understand this, also there was a huge problem at FI's brothers wedding.  if this is not appropraite is there a better way?)
___declines with regret


This is my first draft so please any help is appreciated since I have to order by saturday!

LeiselEB

Invitiation: Do you want it to say the parents' names? If so, you don't need Together with their parents. I know that you guys are hosting, but it might just read better to either say Together with their parents, and then not put parent names, or to just put parent names. I'll word it both ways for you....Also, be mindful of capitalization.

Together with their parents
Jennifer Ellen LastName
and
Stephen Robert LastName
request the pleasure of your company
at their wedding
Saturday, the twenty-fifth of August
at half past six o'clock
The English Manor
One English Lane
Ocean, NJ

Reception to immediately follow

Mr. and Mrs. Brides Parents

Mr. and Mrs. Grooms Parents

request the pleasure of your company

at the marriage of their children

Jennifer Ellen (Lastname optional)

and

Stephen Robert (Lastname optional)

Saturday, the twenty-fifth of August
at half past six o'clock
The English Manor
One English Lane
Ocean, NJ

Reception to immediately follow

Accommodations Card: This is the wording I'd suggest. You definitely want the hotel address on there, and I'd include the hotel's direct number rather than the chain's number. It'll be easier for guests to speak to that exact hotel. I prefer not to list rates on invites, but if you want to, I'd put them on the last line.

A block of rooms has been reserved at the following location

Sheraton Eatontow Hotel

Hotel Address

Hotel Local Phone Number

Please mention the Bride/Groom wedding when making your reservation



RSVP Card: I put in the date I'd suggest - it's 3 weeks before the wedding. But please check with your venue/caterer about when they need a final headcount. Give yourself one week more than what they require in case you need to track down any forgotten RSVPs. The idea you had for the __ of __ is good, just don't forget to fill any in You don't need to say on or before - just tell them when you need the RSVP back.

Please respond by the fourth of August 
M______________________
___ of ___ accepts with pleasure 
___declines with regret

libby2483

Leisel's wording looks great.  The reason that your first draft sounded a little strange is you wrote part in first person (our) and part in third person (their).  Invitations are written in third person, like Leisel's wording. 

I also agree with not putting the rate on the accommodations card, as I think it can start to sound a bit like an ad for the hotel.  That is something that is personal preference, though.

Also, if you want to be a stickler, based on what I've seen on this board before, it is technically correct to put half after, not half past, for the time.  I put half past on mind because I like the sound of it better, though.

LeiselEB

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invite-proofing-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:252d5ccb-6d21-4d59-9639-f82c1716b529Post:c2e33d1f-7a4b-487d-b28c-6472f4b2d6a4">Re: Invite Proofing Please Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]Leisel's wording looks great.  The reason that your first draft sounded a little strange is you wrote part in first person (our) and part in third person (their).  Invitations are written in third person, like Leisel's wording.  I also agree with not putting the rate on the accommodations card, as I think it can start to sound a bit like an ad for the hotel.  That is something that is personal preference, though. Also, if you want to be a stickler, based on what I've seen on this board before, it is technically correct to put half after, not half past, for the time.  I put half past on mind because I like the sound of it better, though.
Posted by libby2483[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>That's true, half after is suggested - but I'm always annoyed when people say that "half past is reserved for funerals" because that is not true AT ALL. I honestly don't know where people got that idea.

</div>

jennc82512

Thanks ladies! I appreciate the feedback and made the changes I needed to. And I have to say half after sounds kind of funny! So I think ill stick to half past.

theholograms

I just got mine in, and was also a bit clueless about wording.

Invitaitons:

Together with their parents

Jennifer Ellen (your last name)

and

Stephen Robert (his last name)

Request the pleasure of your company

at the celebration of their wedding

Saturday, the Twenty-Fifth of July

Two Thousand and Twelve

Half Past Six O'Clock in the Evening

The English Manor
One English Lane
Ocean, NJ

Reception to follow

Accommodations Card

A block of rooms has been reserved at

The Sheraton Eatontow Hotel

Address

Town, State

Phone #

Reference the Smith-Doe wedding to receive our special guest rate of $179.99 per night.

For additional information:

If you have a website - I would include it here

RSVP Card

The favor of a reply is requested by the fifteenth of June (that was ours). We are asking for about a month and a half, to allow for those who don't respond, plus we need to make sure everything is good with the hotel (if we need more rooms) and shuttles.

We just have Will Attend and Will Not Attend, but have seen some with an extra line at the bottom that says Number Attending_____