Etiquette: Who do you send Save-the-Dates to?

JulieCbell

Our headcount for the reception is limited, but we can invite anyone to come to the ceremony.  We have out of state guests coming, so we'll have a better idea of the head count a few months down the road.  I'm getting ready to send out save the dates but I don't know who to send them to...

Should I send save the dates to everyone who I'd like to come to the ceremony, whether or not I know if there's going to be a seat for them at the reception?  Should I limit sending save-the-dates for those who will be invited to the reception as well?

I'd like to send them to everyone, but maybe include some kind of clever wording on the card or on the website to say that everyone is welcome at the ceremony and that the reception will be by invitation only.  What do you think?

Julie

cebrady89

I agree with Edie. You can have a family only ceremony with a friends and family reception, but not the other way around. 

I'd try for a venue that can accommodate more people, or perhaps just limit the guest list. We had a similar issue, and it's definitely tough to cut down the guest list, but I'd much rather do that than offend people by inviting them to a ceremony and then not allowing them in to the reception.

Good luck

MyNameIsNot

Everyone needs to be invited to the whole thing.  If you can't invite them to the reception, you can't invite them.

Send STDs to everyone you are 100% certain that you will be inviting.

ejung3

I would definitely think long and hard about the guest list before sending out the save the dates, and make sure that the people you send them to are definitely invited to both. When I was sending my save th dates out, I didn't really try to fine-tune the guest list at all, and I wish I had, because now everyone that has an STD is invited no matter what.  I mean, I will be able to afford to host all those people, I just wish I had allowed myself some more flexibility.

mialorraine

I would wait to send save-the-dates until you have a better idea of numbers. I got really excited and sent mine out to people, only to realize that numbers got a little out of hand and wished I would have waited. Can you send save the dates to people who are invited to the ceremony, and then send some sort of e-vite or other invitation to those who are invited to the ceremony? If someone gets a save the date they may assume they are invited to the ceremony too and it could get confusing. Good luck!!

gailpete

Anyone that is invited to the ceremony MUST be invited to the reception. To do otherwise is extremely rude. 

Also, anyone that gets a Save the Date must get an invitation.