Guest List Priorities??

lexa10

I'm having a hard time figuring out how to start my guest list. I know obviously friends and family, but after that, I'm somewhat lost. My fiance and I have TONS of friends from church and people that we have known all our lives, but I can't invite one family without inviting the other. I don't know how to go about how to choose between some families. 
My parents are paying for the wedding, but have not given us any kind of budget, therefore we can't really base our guest list off our budget. Whenever I bring up the budget, my mom says we will decide what we want and then work with that.  (Yes, I know that is COMPLETELY backwards of the way it should be done, but she is the mom and is (thankfully) footing the bill!)
PLease forgive me if this is all a jumble!
TIA!!

lexa10

Yes, he just proposed yesterday and since then, she has been really exciting about planning. She immediately got the computer and started researching venues and dresses. I have tried to explain to her that we need a budget and she just isn't having it. She will look at the prices of venues and then decide what is too expensive. I have told her that the short guest list is 150 and we could get at least 200 if not more! So by that alone, a lot fo venues are ruled out. Not to mention that there are pretty much no venues that can hold over 150 for a seated reception here in the Huntsvillle area.
I am a 'list person' so I will try it that way. Maybe that will get me somewhere. Thanks for the advice!

trix1223

So you've been engaged for about 12 hours, and your mom won't give you a budget?  How about enjoying being engaged for a bit?

Anyway:  when planning a wedding, the very, very, very first thing that ANYONE will tell you is that you need to figure out your budget.

You can't decide on a venue without knowing your budget.  A budget allows you to look at venues per person price and figure out how many you can invite.

A budget allows you to decide how much you'll spend on attire, paper, ceremony costs, reception costs, floral, entertainment, photography, and ancillary costs.

After you've absorbed being engaged, sit with your mom and tell her that researching venues without having a bottom line in mind is a waste of her time and energy.

Tell her this advice comes from someone who's been both MOG and MOB. 

ckonidak

Everything Trix said, 100%.
 
Also, keep in mind that there will be about a zillion things you forget on an initial budget/list. Each time I re-do our budget or To-Do list, it gets longer with smaller details that I've overlooked. 

Tell yourself and your mom to take a deep breath, enjoy the moment, then move on to Budget and Head Count, both of which are the 2 most important things for EVERY wedding list I've made.

starlite753

Haha...i have the same problem with my parents...8 months into the engagement and 5 months away from the wedding and still no budget, which drives us crazy so I suggest you start with that!

I'll get a quote on flowers then my parents say that sounds like too much money but it's crazy because they won't tell me how much can be spent in the first place!!!  ...it causes lots of uneeded frustration so really really try to sit down and settle on a ballpark overall number or even talk about how much would be reasonable according to your mom for different vendors before going to talk to them.  After you take care of that you can start worrying about who can be invited to the wedding...

I have known people who will invite everyone from church to the wedding but the reception is only by invitation so they include everyone in at least the ceremony