Break between ceremony and reception... is this ok?

mrsjunebug

My fiance and I are getting married in a catholic church which requires that the ceremony starts at 2pm.  We are expecting the ceremony to last 45 minutes to an hour.  

Our reception is at another location but we do not want to start it at 3:30ish, as that seems too early for a dinner reception.  We are planning to start cocktails at 5pm and dinner at 6pm.  This would leave a 2 hour break.  I noticed most receptions directly follow the ceremony... has anyone else had to have a break and if so did you put somewhere on your website or in the invitation itself things to do in the area during the break?  Trying to finalize all the enclosures and am wondering what to do.

TIA!

aerinpegadrak

Are you hosting something during the break, or are you leaving guests to fend for themselves?  How far is it from the ceremony to the reception?  Are you doing a receiving line at the church?

If you're doing a receiving line and there's a bit of a commute, then you could plan on cocktails at 4 and dinner at 5, and that allows guests to go more or less directly from the church to the reception.  (And realize that some guests may choose to do this anyway rather than wandering around aimlessly in dress clothes, even if there is a longer gap.)  If you wanted to push dinner service back a bit, you could start the reception off with the cake cutting and first dances, and serve dinner at around 5:30.

squirrly

Having a gap with NOTHING to do in between really isn't cool.  Can you plan something?  Even if it's just lemonade and cookies.  Is the hotel convenient?  If so, can you do a hospitality room with water, soda, and snacks? 

SaraAndrew2010

This is known as the "Catholic gap" and is fairly common in some circles.  Some brides on here will tell you to go to any length to eliminate a gap.  However, I'm in a similar situation as you and will have a gap.  My mass starts at 3:00 and cocktail hour will start at 6:00 (the ceremony and reception are 30 minutes apart).  I know it's not ideal, but it's what every wedding in my family and FI's family has done, so most of my guests are used to it.

If possible, it's nice to arrange for some kind of hospitality for your guests during the gap.  Some guests set up a hospitality suite at the hotel with water and softdrinks or have a relative open up their house to guests between the ceremony and reception.  That way guests have someplace to go between and don't have to sit around a bar all dressed up for a wedding.  You'll find that unless your wedding is very casual, most guests won't be interested in going site seeing before the reception when they are all dressed up.

MyNameIsNot

Short answer: No.  Gaps are rude.

I'm Catholic, too, and I get the 2:00 problem.  But you cannot leave 2 hours for your guests to sit around and wait for you to get around to hosting them.  They will either go to a bar and get drunk waiting or they will go home, and not come back.   Or, they'll sit in the parking lot of the reception venue, and won't be too happy.

Our ceremony was at 2, and our reception started at 3:30.  We drug out the cocktail hour a bit and did a few dances before the dinner, so dinner was served at 5:30.  Still a little on the early side, but not so bad.  Then we moved on to dancing and went until 10.  It actually worked out perfectly, as the kids and the older crowd were able to stay for the whole thing.  Everyone else met up for an after party that lasted into the night.

If you absolutely cannot avoid the gap, you need to host something for your guests during the break, like a hospitality suite at a hotel.  You can't leave them to just wait around, and they do not want to go to the mall, a museum, or the park in their wedding clothes.

JoliePapeterie

I went to a wedding in 2008 where we had a 4 hour gap in between the ceremony and reception.  We ended up going home and taking a nap.  It wasn't fun because you have to try to not ruin your hair and make up and you don't want to be sitting at home in your dressed up attire either.  That whole situation was not fun so maybe try to do snacks or something to give your guests something to do in between.

mrsjunebug

Thanks everyone for suggestions and feedback.  This is helpful when planning everything out.

JoliePapeterie

kma212s I was just going to suggest the idea of giving them suggestions of things to do in the area.  I think that's a great idea.  Sometimes a gap is unavoidable depending on where your venue is.

Karen's MOH

My timing is going to be almost exactly the same-- 2 o clock ceremony (latest the church will do) and 5 pm reception (yes, because I WANT an evening reception.) The way I figure, the ceremony will last about 45 minutes, receiving line is another 15 maybe, so thats 3, then I'm having shuttles from the hotels to the venue, which will probably leave about 4:30/4:45. So people are only looking at about an hour and a half. I think if you have a lot of people in the hour away situation (too far to go home but not far enough to stay over) it would be nice to offer a hospitality suite with some snacks and soft drinks, maybe a room in the hotel or something. For me, I know almost everyone is staying over, so I'm expecting them to go back to their hotels and then head out. Like KMA, most of my guests are used to this.

I would recommend checking with people as far as what they would want. For my sister's wedding, she had done a far amount of investigation and leg work trying to arrange a hospitality suite at the hotel, and the guests who were staying over were almost offended. They all said they could take care of themselves for an hour, thanks anyway.

Sorry so long, I just know some people are really anti gap so want to show the other side as well.

mvasqu03

I have grown up with all weddings having gaps. Maybe that is just a el paso thing, but weddings seem wierd without the long gap in between. Ceremonies are early in the afternoon and receptions start at 6 or later. It never bothered me. I have time to go home, change, and rest up for the night. But i do see where gaps can offend people that have no place to go during those hours. Maybe a nice relative can open up their home for the hours in between.

jesi_nickles

Every wedding I have been to has had some sort of break. Whether it was 30 mins to 2-3 hours. Every wedding is different. Especially if you are havign your ceremony and reception in different places. The break also gives you time to get pictures doen without rushing them.

Heck, my sister had a whole week between her ceremony and reception. Mind you, she did have a VERY small reception after her ceremony, but that was just for immediate family. The other one was for every one else. I'm even planning on having a break between my ceremony and reception.

The break is good if you have decided on a adults only reception. That way, parents don't feel rushed getting their kids home and back up to the venue.

Hope this helps.
Jes