Is this rude?

kitkat887

To save everyone time and hassle and trees and postage, I'm thinking of having my guests RSVP via phone or email, and not send back a card. We're having a pretty informal wedding, so I think that this would be okay, but is it some kind of faux pas to do this?

banana468

Technically, the guest should be responding to you on his/her own paper.

However just writing, "RSVP by January 3,2010" is also OK.

Only you know your guests though.  If you need an exact meal count, I'd consider using response cards. 

janedoe1113a

I think it will be fine, but be prepared to call a good bit of people.

racheladine

I'm doing the same thing. I think you'll be just fine!

lyndausvi

no it is not rude.

 Just make sure you are organized.  Paper response cards can be just as helpful for you to keep track of responses as it is convenient for your guests to reply.

aerinpegadrak

We're having guests RSVP through our website or by phone.  It's not rude, but like others said, you may end up having to track down a lot of people for their responses.

MyNameIsNot

It's not rude, but it may make extra work for you like others said.  It also conveys a more casual style wedding, so people won't expect a formal wedding.

mwhitson14

You just need to be really organized about this. Carry your guest list with you at all time so any time anyone calls you have it right there with you to mark on the list. I have mine orgranized on an excel spreadsheet so that might be a good idea for you.

lindseroo

I'm planning to do it as well because I don't want to pay for postage for everyone to send theirs back!  (I think they should just have to throw a stamp on there.  What's 40 cents to each person?  Nothing!  But that apparently IS rude.)

petdoc2010

I'm having people RSVP on the website for the same reason (plus we are DIY'ing the invites so we just didn't want to make an extra thing).

Just print out your guest list and check people off as the responses come in. :-)

vanessahurd

We're having people respond via our website or by calling us too, and we're having a formal wedding! My best friend did this for her wedding too, and she only had to track down a few people who didn't respond...probably the same number of people she would have had to call anyway had she sent reply cards (but without paying over $50 for postage).

beachbride91511

for my first wedding i thought it was easier to do the cards, but like everyone said its expensive! but your way is in no way rude, for my vow renewal we are doing the website and phone and email! i've even had my friends do this! it worked just fine! good luck

jeffloveslaura

It's not rude, I'd just want a paper trail.

kristinmac10

I think it would be better and easier to do the online thing than having ppl call you!!

kee80

I don't think it's necessarily rude, but you are definitely asking for a headache.  Trust me, you WILL end up having to track down guests to get an answer.

farmgirl8806

Of course it's perfectly okay.  Some people will never reply no matter what method you use and some people will say they'll come and never show up.  You should use the 2/3 rule, but it is still nice to RSVP so that you can have some kind of an idea.  We were not going to have RSVP, but my dad insisted that we do.  My oldest sister gave people my parent's phone number and his parent's phone number to RSVP, no mailing back at all.  My FH and I will be giving out my parent's number, and I am going to establish a new e-mail account, which we will use as our e-mail address when we are married.  We chose this option because it will save us money by not having to worry about postage.  Just remember, the fewer options you give your guests the better.  I suggest putting your guest list into a spreadsheet and print off a copy for whoever's phone number you give out.  Then they can write down the number of people that are attending for each family, and who is not attending at all.

smeileen

We used the the online RSVP tool on our wedding website from http://www.weddingtracker.com as well as the toll free RSVP line from http://parties.rsvp-line.com. When we evaluated the cost, the price we paid for the RSVP line was less than the printing  and postage of the response cards.  We had about 80% participation from our guests.  

The website allowed us to see who rsvp'd and when.  Since we needed a headcount for adults and children the online RSVP tool was perfect. 

 The toll free RSVP line can be set up to send a voicemail message to your email account (works best if you have a Yahoo account). At the end of the day, if I had received an RSVP message, I woud review them and update the RSVP online accordingly.  People left us words of encouragement  and best wishes as well  and their acceptance/regrets.  The RSVP company will send us a CD with all of our messages when the line is disabled.

I realize this is a lot of info, but this helped maintained my sanity, and keep track of my guest counts

tinysal04

No, we are doing the same thing, the only thing is i asked my MOH to keep track of the calls so i don't get over whelmed with everything else.