Wedding Invitations & Paper

RSVP on Save The Date

My fiance is from South Africa, and I am in America. Our wedding ceremony and reception will be in America. We are sending out "pre invites" in the form of Save the Dates to our family/friends in SA. The wedding is in Sept. 2013, and we are requesting an RSVP for October of this year, only so we can properly plan for accomodation for all of the long-distance guests, and then depending on the number of out-of-country guests we will then go through the guest list for the American guests and invite accordingly. We assume that if our friends/family are going to come they will need to start planning this far in advance because of the cost of airfare, and the time they will have to request off from work for the trip. Is it fair to ask for an RSVP this far in advance in this situation? Thoughts && comments are appreciated!

Re: RSVP on Save The Date

  • Honestly, it's pretty presumptive to assume that guests will be able to know 2 months from now whether or not they'll be able to leave the country to attend a wedding a year away... Some may, but most likely won't know until a few months before the date.

    Invite the guests you know you really want to be there. Don't invite guests which you wouldn't mind either way if they came or not. Then assume that all invited will attend and choose your "local" guest list accordingly.
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  • PeavyPeavy member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    A Save the Date is merely an announcement that your wedding will take place on a certain date, not an invitation, therefore no RSVP is expected or necessary.  You'll just have to use your best judgement on who you think will be able to attend.
  • I wouldn't do this...

    Just use the STD as an annoucment
  • You don't need RSVPs back yet. If all you want is to give family/friends in SA time to plan their trip for your wedding, that is exactly what an STD will do. No RSVP necessary.

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  • I agree with PPs.  Don't require an RSVP from save the dates.  If it makes you feel any better, we're in a similar situation and even though we didn't put a RSVP date or anything like that, we've stil heard from about 30% of the people that they are definitely coming or not coming -- and have gotten a pretty good idea from the rest of whether they'll be able to make the journey or not.  We know this might change but chances are you'll get a good idea of where people are at without having to pressure people with a response deadline for an announcement.

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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    It's not ok to ask people to commit to an event a year in advance.  Most people will consider it and will use the year to decide if they can save the money/time off.  

    If you are expecting to provide accomdations for people that do travel, you can include something on a card to the international guests that you would like to offer them an accomodation and to please contact you as soon as they are sure they'll be coming so that you can arrange it.  
  • Thank you everyone for the responses, although the rude ones weren't exactly necessary I appreciate the helpful ones. The RSVP is not meant to pressure anyone, in fact our overseas guests have already expressed that by knowing about the wedding so far in advance and being able to definitely plan for it has helped them immensely in budgeting and planning. There are about 70 people being invited from overseas and the hotel where the wedding is taking place will not allow me to hold more rooms than necessary and requires a deposit, so it is a sticky situation in reserving rooms in advance in relation to how many people are planning on attending. Obviously if plans change between now and next year that is understandable, but this was a way for us to get an idea of exactly how many rooms we need. It is an odd and unavoidable situation. 
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