I just flipping give up - guest list vent

HisMegs878

I just give up right now. FI is deployed and I am trying to handle this darn guest list crap and I am getting NO help at all. FMIL sent me a list of 7 names on it (2 without an address). The note that came with the list said “its not like anyone besides me is going to come so I don’t see the point.”  The point is they have a right to get a %$@# invitation and decline then you assuming no one will want to fly to WA to see the wedding.

FI wants the wedding, he is happy with all the details but I ask him about it and he doesn’t know who to invite and thinks word of mouth is ok and he honestly doesn’t care if his family in Virginia comes or not. So I say ok but I need to know the names of your friends over here that you want to come. I know he has a ton of friends but I don’t think he knows who he should invite or think about inviting. There are also guys in his unit who he is friends with but he thinks they won’t come so why bother.

Honestly right now I JUST GIVE UP. I hate having question marks or a rough estimate of how many people. I need to send out save the date cards and start ordering invitations and get things together.  I have never in a million years thought the guest list (oh and not my side that is all done) would be the hardest thing. I feel like I am pulling teeth from an alligator.

*sigh* Sorry for the vent.

Megan

[Deleted User]

Yes, it can be hard. Right now, all of my invites are out, we are still waiting on address for a few of his friends. FMIL has done all she can do, he has been trying to contact them on FM and MS to get their addresses since they don't live at home anymore due to school, military, etc.

How far out are you? I started gathering addresses months ago and put them all in a spread sheet, this helped for me. Sorry about what you are going through, it will all work out, take a deep breath and go have a drink or two.

bbyckes

Yes, collecting addresses is frustrating.  What I did was go through his facebook account and sent all of his friends messages (of course he knew I was doing this)  asking them for addresses.  You could try that - my response rate tripled - people hate picking up phones. 

Also, I understand the time crunch, being that your wedding is a little more than 4 months out.  Do you even need STDs at this point?

hugz415

I completely understand how you feel.  It is very frustrating when you feel like you are organized and trying to do things in a timely manner and no one will help you!  I had the same issue with my FMIL and FI - both of them had zero sense of urgency when it came to getting the addresses.  In the end my save the dates have now just gone out last month and my actual invites will be mailed end of May - a tad closer than I had originally wanted!  You need to be very firm and clear - "if you don't give me their address, they will not be there.  you have until this date to get them to me".  That worked for me.  If your FI thinks "word of mouth" is a good idea that is batty....its a wedding not a rock concert.  Without proper invites you run the risk of important people not being there and/or people you had no intention of inviting showing up.

Good luck and stay positive!