Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

HELP!! Don't know what to do about walking down the aisle!!

      I am really conflicted about who to have walk me down the aisle.  My biological father and I don't see eye to eye on just about anything and he has barely even talked to me since I told him that I was engaged last June. The few times that he has talked to me he has made some really hurtful and inappropriate comments.  I just don't feel that walking me down the aisle is something that he should just get to do, he hasn't earned that right in my life.  My step-dad and I were never close and he and my mom were only married for 2 years before I moved out on my own.  Right now I am down to walking alone, having my mom walk me, or having my younger brother walk me.  I also don't know what to do about my father daughter dance. I mean, him and his family will all be there and I know that they will be hurt by the fact that I don't really want to include him, but at the same time, they have all hurt me a lot too.

What do you think??

Re: HELP!! Don't know what to do about walking down the aisle!!

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    YOu can either walk alone, with your mom, or with your brother. That is perfectly acceptable.

    And just don't HAVE a father./daughter dance. Don't announce that it won't be there and most people won't notice.
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    Ditto Sarah.
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    There's nothing wrong with any of the alternatives you've come up with. And you really can skip the Father/Daughter dance if you'd rather not cross that bridge.

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    I'm walking alone and not doing a father/daughter dance. HTH. And FWIW, I have no issues with my dad. He'll be listed in the program. I just feel strongly I want to walk by myself, and he hates dancing and being the center of attention.
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    Shoot, my dad wasn't even invited to the wedding.  And we had no dancing at all.
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    I like the idea of your mom or just yourself walking down the aisle.  If you think that having mom walk you will appear to dad and his family that you are choosing her over him, then I would just walk down alone.  I have a feeling it can be rather liberating feeling, and empowering.  That's what I may be doing.

    I would just skip the father daughter dance.  Too many special dances tends to make the reception slow down and feel boring.
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    My dad was not in my life from the age of 12-27, so I don't feel right for him to walk me. My mom was married to my step-dad for the last 16 years but they just got divorced, my only brother will be 14 at the time of the wedding, and my mom and I have a weird relationship, so I have decided to walk by myself.

    Hopefully I can skip the father/daughter dance too. Not sure if FI wants to dance with his mom though. I am going to ask him right now! 
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    I think now I am leaning toward having my mom walk me. We didn't really get along when I was younger, but we have gotten a lot closer the past year or so and even if we didn't get along, she was still there which is more than my dad can say. I think this will be a great way to honor her. I'm just worried that she's gonna cry her whole way down the aisle and that's going to set me off! I'm having my younger brother be an usher, so he can still be a part of it because he is important to me.  I'm just still unsure of the dance part. I would much rather just skip that whole thing all together, but my fiance really wants a dance with his mom (his dad died when he was 8 and he is an only child so she is important to him even if she doesn't like me).
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    My sister in law's father is deceased and her mother never remarried.  So she waited at the top of the aisle after everyone else walked and my brother walked up to her and they walked to the alter together.  They did just a parent dance.  SHe danced with my father and he danced with her mother.  It was a beautiful wedding.
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    We're walking down together.
    He will wait at the end of the row of pews, while I "make my entrance" and then we will join hands and walk down the aisle together.

    My dad will be attending the wedding, but like many of you, our relationship is not ideal or even average, so we are not doing many of the "traditional" elements many ceremonies and receptions have.

    Good thing is you are creating a new family and you can stop the bad pattern from continuing to another generation.
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    You can do whatever you want.

    My bio father is not even invited to my wedding. I am not doing an aisle walk at all, and if I was, I would not have any one "give me away" (stepfather, mother, anyone else). Just is not "me".

    You definitely do not have to do the special dances, even if your FI wants to dance with his mother, etc....there is nothing that says you need to match him dance for dance!
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    I say Walk with your brother. My little bro walked me as our father passed a few years ago. For the dance I danced with him but you definately have a different situation there.

    You say your dad has said some hurtful things; will he een show up for your wedding?

    You need to sit your dad down and talk to him about those hurtful things and let him know what you decide about the aisle walk & dance.
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    skip the father/daughter dance - it's a tradition, but it's not mandatory.  i'm skipping it too.  my dad and i aren't super-close, and honestly, i think he would be totally nervous and uncomfortable with everyone watching him.  so we just won't do it - no one will notice.

    as for walking you down  the aisle - i think it could be very nice to have your mother walk you, especially since she seems to have been the consistent parent in your life.  the idea of having your brother walk you is also very nice.  i wouldn't choose either father figure because it's just that - choosing between them.  i think there will be less hurt feelings if you just go with someone else altogether other than the dad or stepdad.

    good luck!
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    I have a similar situation actually.  My mom is walking me down and I think we're going to dance instead of with my father.  My dad is just against spending the money on one day blah blah blah and him & his family haven't really been involved in my life either. 

    So I think you should do whatever would mean the most for you as the bride.  Because it's your day, so whatever is going to make it special and meaningful for you.
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    If it were me, I would have my mom walk me down the aisle.
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    I recently had to deal with this same type of issue.
    My solution?
    Just walk yourself down! Your officient doesn't have to say "And who gives this woman to this man"... blah blah, and everybody wants to get a good look at the bride when she walks down the isle, anyway. The father-daughter tradition is nice only when it goes along with the meaning of the tradition. Also, you can totally skip the dance. I'm not doing the dance. Not because I don't love my Dad; but because it would make me really uncomfortable.
    I hope this helps. I'm sorry about family issues... they're always the worst. Good luck!
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