Hello everyone! Bear with me, this is a little long. I'm frustrated and venting a little.
Looking for opinions on a "to invite or not to invite" type of situation. My FMIL is a total sweetheart (yes, really), but I don't think she quite "gets" how some of the wedding processes work (or how much money we're spending on this wedding). We thought we had decided on our guest list months ago as we sent out save-the-dates, but had the expectation that possibly a few people would be added as I had just started a new job and figured I'd be inviting some of my new co-workers.
Anyways, my FMIL was talking to my mom the other day and mentioned how she wanted to add some more relatives. Now, mind you, FMIL doesn't even know the last names of these relatives, nor does she even know the names of their spouses!!! I mean, come on, really? She hasn't seen them in AGES, they rarely ever even speak on the phone, and they live out of town. The likelihood of them even making the trip is slim to none.
Plus, the invitations we bought cost over $20 EACH. I know this is a lot of money for an invitation, but we had a set number we were going to be purchasing. FMIL said to my mom casually that she would get the names of these people some time this week. Now, my mom and I basically said to each other we're not about to go and send $20-something invitations to John and Jill So-and-So, etc. Since these relatives are all children (plus spouses) of another relative, our compromise was going to be sending ONE invitation and include all their names, and send it to the care of the parents.
Normally I would think this is so tacky, but it seems kinda tacky to me that she just brought this up out of the blue. We've been engaged for over a year, and the wedding is in four months, and now you decide you think you'll invite them? They can't be that important. On my wedding day, I want to be surrounded by people we love and who love us, who each mean something very special to us, and not just invite random no-name relatives you've barely spoken to.
And again, not trying to sound cheap. We're inviting over 400 people. It's a combination of the principle and the fact that the this isn't an invitation free-for-all just because our wedding is on the larger side.
Anyone else? Thoughts?? It just seems so rude to me.