Not inviting children...HELP!

linabellabelle

We are getting married October 16, but have a small venue that seats 125 max. I have a very large extended family with over 25 children under the age of 10. My family alone is 115 people. We have decided to include a "NO CHILDREN ALLOWED" in our invites, but i dont want to word it rude!

We will be having flower girls and ring bearers, but other than that, we wont allow children. My family is not the most intelegent on matters of invitation wording, so i know only addressing it to the parents would not get the point across.

what wording should i use? and what should be included?

HELP! Im so clueless!

banana468

You NEVER write anything about who isn't included.

Address the invitation only to the parents.

Then, on the response cards, write out the names of those you're inviting so that the guest just checks next to __accepts or __declines.

They may add in names but then you need to make some phone calls.  Don't do something rude from the start.

quotequeen

It is considered rude to put no children or adult reception in any form, so there is no way to word it that would not be rude.  You can put a line on the RSVP card that says "X seats have been reserved in your honor."  You can also personalize the reply cards so that there is a line for each person you are inviting to check off attending or not attending, and you can write in the names yourself.

brist1ks

I am having an *Adult Reception* and I'm just going to put on the RSVP cards at the bottom *Adult Reception. I dont find it rude when you only have X amount of seating and well the kids aren't going to remember it and if your family is that large hopefully people will be understanding of it all. Just remember its your day and the people that matter will definately be there.

squirrly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_not-inviting-childrenhelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:95e7b6f4-8afb-4d9e-b5a7-dc4d32e96557Post:dfccea1e-dec3-45c8-b8e4-8b364981b3b9">Re: Not inviting children...HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]I am having an *Adult Reception* and I'm just going to put on the RSVP cards at the bottom *Adult Reception. I dont find it rude when you only have X amount of seating and well the kids aren't going to remember it and if your family is that large hopefully people will be understanding of it all. Just remember its your day and the people that matter will definately be there.
Posted by brist1ks[/QUOTE]


Honestly, it doesn't matter what YOU find rude.  It matters what your GUESTS find to be rude.  Since what you're proposing to do is, in fact, rude, I'd bet some will be offended.  Take banana's advice above - just address the invites to whomever is invited, and deal with any addons later.

FWIW, I didn't have a single extra guest added to ours, and I'm 100% sure it's because of the way we designed the RSVP cards.  photos, screenshots, and templates in my bio.

girl2bewed

Most people choose to leave their children at home for a wedding but if you think it will be that overrun with children you can put Adult Cocktail and Dinner to follow or Adult Reception they'll get the hint. I personally toyed with the idea a little bit but a friend of mine with kids told me how offended she'd be if she was invited to a wedding where the invitation expressly said no kids. So i dropped the idea fast, i certainly dont want to offend close friends/family.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_not-inviting-childrenhelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:95e7b6f4-8afb-4d9e-b5a7-dc4d32e96557Post:44242789-2f01-43d4-9212-890833c42f9d">Re: Not inviting children...HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]Most people choose to leave their children at home for a wedding but if you think it will be that overrun with children <strong>you can put Adult Cocktail and Dinner to follow or Adult Reception they'll get the hint</strong>. I personally toyed with the idea a little bit but a friend of mine with kids told me how offended she'd be if she was invited to a wedding where the invitation expressly said no kids. So i dropped the idea fast, i certainly dont want to offend close friends/family.
Posted by girl2bewed[/QUOTE]

<div>No, you don't do this.  It's still rude.  You don't reference who is not invited.</div><div>
</div><div>You do like Banana said, and address the invitation to the people invited, and word the RSVP card with the actual names with check marks next to each name.  Any mention of Adult Only, Adult Reception, No Children, 18+ Only, or any of that is inappropriate.  </div>

anniegrimes

i wish there had been a polite way to do this, because people just do not get it.  i just sent out invitations last week, adressed only to the parents, not the children, and already i've gotten  2 response cards back with people saying they're bringing their children!  and one of them is a groomsman!!!  you would think my fiance could say something to him, but he also happens to be the minister's son.  how do you tell people who have already responded, that no, their little preciouses are not included????