No children - using phone/website RSVP only

hurlr

I will need to only use phone and website RSVP's because we have a tight timeline (due to immigration/visa timelines) and a tight budget. I understand it's rude to say 'adults only', but we really can't fit the children of the couples we are inviting (as much as we'd love to).  We will only have an outer envelope on our invites, and we won't be doing any STD.   

I have two questions:

1) I've seen suggested elsewhere that it's OK to write on the invite 'We hope the two of you can come' or something similar...  is this OK?  We are letting people know by word of mouth when we can do it tactfully, but many guests live far away, and won't know.

2) If they RSVP via the website, is there any way of knowing that they are only expecting to come as a couple?  It looks like only one person from each party RSVP's when I look at our site.
Thanks!

banana468

Please don't ask guests to use TK's response function.   It's notoriously unreliable.

I vote for spreading the word that it's an adult event and be specific on your envelopes.

Carson386

TK's RSVP thing is horrible. It's very glitchy and you don't want that. I think that spreading it by word of mouth is fine. That s wha we did, we tolda few people it was only adults invited and the word got around pretty quickly. Also when you address the envelopes you can do Mr. & Mrs. John Smith. Never put The Smith Family, that would mean the whole family was invited. Good luck!

QueerFemme

Don't use the website to RSVP.  If you MUST do an electronic rsvp, maybe set up an email address devoted only to that. "hurlrwedding@gmail.com" or something like that, and on your invitation, just put something like "Please rsvp by calling (xxx) 111-1234 or via email at hrulwedding@gmail.com". 

As far as the adults only thing goes.  Address the invite to only the adults.  When you get a phone call or an email with an rsvp for more than the # of people you invited (the adults), then you have to say something like "I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, the invitation was for you & Aunt Sally were invited. We aren't able to accomodate children". 

brommel

eVite allows you to restrict the number of guest people are allowed to bring.  If all of your guests are allowed plus one's, then you can allow them to RSVP for themselves and only one more person.

Other RSVP websites allow you to restrict on a per email basis, but do cost money, if that's something you're okay with, I could PM you the list.

Congrats!

hurlr

Thank you all for your feedback!  I think we'll use a dedicated email, which also will mean we'll have email addresses to stay in touch with people afterwards.