I just wanted to share some observations and tips I learned while helping my daughter plan her wedding over the course of 22 months.•It's never too soon to start planning - and buying things for the wedding.•Before purchasing something - google the item and find the best price -- and then google that company and try and find a coupon! We were the coupon queens, practically everything we bought was with a coupon!•Lurk on all of the individual boards on The Knot, especially your local, wedding month, P&E, and the new Budget Weddings one. You will find tips galore on how to chop the cost of your wedding.We bought the tote bags for the girls and the duffle bags for the boys during the famous American Bridal $5.00 tote bag sale! They were great - and everyone thinks we spent a lot of $$$!We also bought pashminas on sale on the recommendations of the Oct. '09 board. The girls loved them and with the weather so cold, they could snuggle up in them.•If you can DIY - go for it! We saved a ton of money by DIYing the Save-the-Date magnets, our invitations, programs, escort and place cards, wish tags, etc., etc. My amazing daughter made all of the branch centerpieces, the twig votive candles (they wanted $5.00 for one candle at one store!), and the submerged orchid vases.•Don't be shy about telling your vendors that you are on a budget. Most of them will work with you. Since the wedding was on a Friday, we got some nice price breaks, too.•You can have what looks like an expensive wedding on a beer budget. People think the food alone for the reception cost $20,000. WRONG! Very, very, very, very wrong! (Are you kidding, we didn't come close to spending that much money for the whole wedding!) We didn't serve beef - the kids picked two of the least expensive meal choices -- but no one knew that. The food was superb and everyone was happy.They also had a limited bar - those who wanted a buzz got one - just not with the premium bar package. And there was not a bunch of sloppy drunks at the end of the night.• It was the little details that made it look expensive.I bought chair covers and sashes - we used them at the bridal shower, too. The table runners were $1.00 chair sashes. The favors were truffles in a box with a ribbon and some little pearl doodads. The truffles were delicious and the boxes look very elegant sitting on each place setting. We also had wildflower and sunflower seeds. Cost for everything was under $1.00 per person.•It's your wedding, don't ditch something you really want if a bunch of people tell you that they don't like the idea, especially if you ask on a message board. Those people will not be at your wedding - so if you really want ribbon wands or balloon arches, just do it.•Brides - if your Mom wants to help, let her. Sure, she's gonna drive you nuts (sorry, Autumn) but all she truly wants is for her little girl to have the fairytale wedding day. Compromise on the little things and meet in the middle. Let her have the personalized matches and M&Ms. She'll be happy and get off your back and not go to the food tasting.
•MOBs - learn to step back and follow in your daughter's footsteps. Don't try to lead her - it's her moment, just be there to help her out and and when she asks for your advice and opinion, you can pull out your 50 page list and start rattling everything. Rattle fast, though, because she will become wide-eyed and panicked.Remember my post from the summer about maybe trying to switch the wording on her invitations because I didn't like it? slm, KR and kwynn called me out on it (very nicely) and while I was ticked for a few minutes, I realized that you were right. It wasn't my place or business to do that. The invitations were printed as she had them - and slm, I realized later that I was honored that she wanted my name on the invitation and that I was more than just Mrs. Steve lastname. Thank-you! When it was time to make the escort cards, she didn't even have to remind me how to word them, I applied that to them as well.During the planning process I didn't get some of her decorating concepts that were on paper. But I will tell you this, when I walked into that ballroom at LeMont, I totally got it! She did an amazing job and everything just looked beautiful! I am so proud of her!You will have Mother-Daughter spats, probably plenty of them. Try not to get too carried away. And remember that you really do love each other! And tell each other that even when you are mad!I ended a lot of conversations with: "I'm so piissed off right now that I am going to hang up on you - but I love you."She said, "I have to go - I'm very busy but I loooove you."And then we would wait 10 or 15 minutes and call each other back and find a resolution.
•Your wedding probably won't be perfect. But if you approach the day with the mindset that no matter what goes wrong, it will still be one of the happiest and joyous days of your lives - it will feel as though it was perfect!We had snow in the morning and rain almost all day! The fog was so bad up on Mt. Washington until sunset - and then we were treated to the most amazing cityscape with Pittsburgh ablaze in light!I ripped my gown between the ceremony and the reception - but no one ever knew and thankfully it was on waistline and the draped part of the gown concealed it perfectly.I also took a tumble down some steps at LeMont - but again, no one knew.We had a mini-crisis with the decorating before the reception began - but I grabbed a couple of friends and others saw our mad dash to the ballroom and tagged along and we had the situation fixed in 10 minutes!There were other tiny mishaps - but that didn't diminish the wedding at all!
•Research and find a good photographer, videographer, cake baker, and DJ. Ours were excellent and definitely set the mood for the day.•If you have a trolley or a bus for the wedding party - have a cooler onboard with champagne or sparkling cider, water and some snacks. The bridal party kind of snickered at me when I stuck everything on the Trolley - but they all came up to me at the reception and thanked me for it.•We ended the evening with a surprise sparkler send-off. Well, it was a surprise for the groom - I told my daughter ahead of time in case she didn't like the idea - (she loved it and then realized why I wanted the personalized matches). Everyone had some much fun out on the street with the sparklers and I can't wait to see the photos!•Savor each and every moment. I can't explain it - seeing your daughter glide down the aisle on her father's arm and then watching her link arms with the man she loves and turning to him and reciting wedding vows is just a magical and emotional moment. There were a thousand and one emotions surging through my body - and it was all love joy and happiness.