Kids/reception

cookie21880

Good Morning!

Wanted to get your thoughts, thank you in advance...

My fiance and I thought it was best to cut kids out of the guest list because of numbers, budget, etc and want our day to be all about having a good time with friends and family.  We made our parents aware well in advance of our plans and they are now ok and understand,  but yesterday my fiance said his mom asked what our thoughts were since most of the kids are a bit older...if they were to stay with the younger kids during the dinner at the hotel, could they all come join us after dinner.  I thought we were done with all of this!  There are some of cousins from out of town that wont travel without their kids.  I would think with advance notice (of a year) they would be able to make arrangements if they were really wanting to attend.  And back to our original thoughts of we wanted everyone with kiddos to be able to come and not have to worry about putting kids to bed, etc.  I also do not like the idea all of a sudden having a bunch of kids (10-12 kids) showing up after dinner when the party is getting started!  I do not like the idea of telling people well we are unable to fit them in at dinner but they can show up afterwards and I do not want anyones feelings to get hurt when they would show up.

When my fiance mentioned this to me, I told him no I did not like that idea but I have a feeling that is not the last I am going to hear of this..am I being a pest? 

MyNameIsNot

You're totally fine to tell your FMIL that the two of you discussed it, and you won't be doing that. 

If you want to make things easier for people, you could arrange some sort of a kid's room at the hotel, but you don't have to.

I'm not a parent, but I certainly understand why a lot of people would not want to travel without their children.  Getting someone to watch them for a weekend can be difficult or expensive, and many people have limited travel/vacation time and wouldn't want to use it when the whole family can't come.  As long as you understand that no kids means you'll probably have a higher decline rate from OOT people, you're fine.

aerinpegadrak

We're having a destination wedding, and we've decided no to kids.  We're telling people that if they want to bring their kids along, we'll do our best to help find them childcare for the wedding itself.

chosen175

If you and your FI have made the decision to not invite kids, then he needs to sit his mother down and figure out a way to make her understand that.  There will always be someone saying "Make an exception just this one time" and then someone else wants an exception for something else and before you know it, you end up with a wedding you despise because you made exceptions for everyone.  No.  This is YOUR wedding and if you say no kids, your FMIL needs to respect that.

Also, I'd be wiling to bet that even if the kids came after dinner, your venue would still charge SOMETHING for them since they'll probably want sodas, dessert, a place to sit, etc.  That's just something to think about if $$ is a big concern.

Karen's MOH

I agree that this is a bad idea. I would offer to help find a babysitter ONLY if someone asks for it. It's one night, if people can't figure out someone to watch their kids with a year's notice, perhaps they don't need to come?