So... my FI and I definitely do not want to have a kid-free wedding. We love the joy of children on the dance floor and have many younger relatives we'd like to see at our wedding.
The problem is, I have two cousins whose kids are out of control. Five out of the six children were "surprises" and their mothers don't really care to raise, discipline or watch their children. At our family Christmas parties, the parents always sit around looking tired and forlorn, while their kids run amok and destroy the house. Kids will be kids, but our last Christmas party ended with pee and juice all over the floor, chocolate on the furniture and toy cars littering the hallways.
I heard an idea of having a "kids table" without a centerpiece, nice linens, etc -- just covering the table with butcher paper and giving the kids a bunch of crayons to let them get out their energy. I thought this was a good idea at first, but my FI pointed out that THESE kids would be screaming while they scribble and would likely run to nearby tables and start coloring on the tablecloths and chair covers. (Their parents would not stop them). Also, it wouldn't be fair not to offer the same set up to the more well-behaved kids at our wedding, but then again, he didn't feel it would be fair to make all the parents sit at a kids table.
I would like to just "not invite" these crazy kids, but I can't very well do that while still inviting all my other cousins' kids... and my FI will be inviting children on his side of the family, too. (All the other kids in our families are reasonably well-behaved, and I'm not saying they are perfect, but they are just NORMAL kids instead of screaming banshees.) I feel like even if I politely recommend that their mothers leave them home if they think the kids will get wild, my cousins will probably just feel dejected and will bring them anyway because it's cheaper not to hire a babysitter. I'm really stuck on this one. HELP!